21st birthday!~

Thank God for His provisions and that i can have my 21st bdae and its celebration.

the whole photo album


::the children, u.john and me.. ::

::dhssech 2h'98 friends~::

::shomerim!!~::

::my family::

::vjc 01S46 friends::

::dieppe barracks friends::

::jiapei, weiliang, jingyu~::

and yes.. i passed my driving.. finally! +=) thank God.

going out with dixon

went out with him yesterday. and today too, cos he met ms to at plaza sing and i was there..

i think some time ago, he asked me out too, when he just got his first job. he was behaving the same way.. being extremely outspoken and outgoing, trying to know almost everyone on the street.. but this time, it seemed to be differenet.. with his eyes and expression and the extremist content.. he's not the same..

tryin very hard to talk to him.. esp about God. but i dun think it works.. only God can help him..

i want an optical mouse.. this mouse is 8years old alerady.

then, i will need more usb port/.

i want to have burner.. but dun know for what.. wnat to buy mini compo, but realise ti's all bout mp3. so.. ?/

basically.. they are wants.

dinner 050505

yeap.. had dinner with them who enlisted on the same day as me on our very last day of national service. hmm. it's really a nice dinner with them with the usual as what yue-en quoted, witty conversation.. yeap.. bout puns and jokes.. suaning and niao-ing.. haha. ~

the dinner starts late cos i was late.. cos i left camp (went back to talk and collect pink ic) late.. ahah.

listening to them and their brief accounts of what they were doing and what they are doing.. erm.. think i should write them down..

alvin, doing eh.. was it mass com? or changed? forgot
matt, going overseas to .. eh.. can't remember but to be a doctor..

“Some years down the road, we shall all meet at the same place and same time....
at Matthew’s clinic to take MC” ~ Alvin Cai.

“And I thought you were going to say something touching” ~ Xue Zhao Sheng

“And don’t forget to bring your children along” ~ Chong Yue-En (When Alvin said what he said, I was thinking this is so “AC/RI/SJI” etc)

“Will it be Matthew Jackson Chen’s clinic?” ~ Alvin Cai (Matthew is planning to going into pediatrics)

"Yes. Neverland Clinic" ~ Matthew

yeapp.. a doctor to be, benefiting nsfs next time. haha..

but somthign bout matt's study overseas.. it's a step of faith cos he dun have enough money.

and situ and matt started this business to do freelanching web design and designing stuffs.. yeap.. cool venture. impressed.

maki was quiet, as usual.. haha. he's going to eh.. japan for uni study.. i think.

listening to their conversations, i think most of us have done a great deal in army and not slacking away.. this project and that.. stand in for him and her and etc. so, why will some pple slack and some pple con't to be exploited? guess it's pride (disgusting fellow).. yeap.. take pride in the work we do..



dinner ended with a dedication at fountain of wealth. (which the deejay read out instead of flashing.. )
from: CPL(NS) and 3SG(NS)
to: all NSFs
message: Ord lor!!!!!




photo album for the night

Wish List:: updated

after re-arranging!!! hahha..=)

things that i need and will buy eventually before uni:

1. mp3 player (i need a media storage when i go uni)
2. sweater (a nice lookin one to wear in cold lecture theatre and church camp)
3. clock (a yellow one, i need one in my room) (hmm.. think ya ya twins getting it.. haha. =) erm.. ya.. )
4. yellow set of stationery (ya.. files, small stapler, paperclips, post it flags and all.. haha)
5. clotheS.. for uni. well.. i can have as many as poss. haha. (so far, thanks a.ket for it in advance. haha)

the rest are luxury items:
1. watch (erm.. think lime getting for me.. ahha.. a bit paiseh but thanks!! hehe)
2. sony ericson phone earpiece (i lost mine!!!) i found it. haha.
3. a bag for uni? maybe lah.. (erm.. i think someone getting for me too.. hhaha. =)
4. handsfree phone to use in room.
5. belt <>
6. sunday black shoes <>

wishlist

after serious thoughts.

1. mp3 player (i need a media storage when i go uni)
2. sweater (a nice lookin one to wear in cold lecture theatre and church camp)
3. clock (a yellow one, i need one in my room)
4. yellow set of stationery (ya.. files, small stapler, paperclips, post it flags and all.. haha)
5. clothes.. for uni.
6. handsfree phone to use in room.

the rest are luxury items:
1. watch
2. sony ericson phone earpiece (i lost mine!!!)
3. a bag for uni? maybe lah..

June Camp 05:: youth camp!!

Want to know what's it all about? come and hear.. !

holidays. =)

yeap.. still having my holiday.. and by right i should be updating my blog more often than ever.. =)

went out with the ya ya twins, together with shuhui and lingqin.. erm.. why the outing? haha. just trying to befriend and get together esp when they are away from us for so long. hm.. din't see zion caleb etc asking me out last time.. =(

i am constantly knowing and noting that they are 6 years younger then me and caleb is 6 years older.. well.. but till date, they are like bout same mental age as me.. i am too underdeveloped or they are welldeveloped.. haha.. good and bad.. ? hehe..

lunch at 3 and then walk and then dinner at 7.. and go home. orignally wanted to go thru the 4 minor prophets with them briefly.. tot it's good to spend time with God's Word but din't .. . hm.. dun know why also.. tot it might be too mian qiang.. dun know lah..

as usual bringing them to jiwei's store.. hoping that jiwei's store can get more costomers and also that my friends can get better deal than the rest.. haha. what am i trying to do? pleasing both sides or one? ... dun know lah..

birthday celebration.. not yet done anything significant.. hm.. should i start to think bout my bdae presents? bohao is asking me if i want this if i want that.. ?? !~.// feel weird telling them that i like this (cos i am scared that i will regret my choice) haha.. evil me.. leaving an option to blame someone if i dun like the gift.. but i really dun want soft toys.. too duh liao..

what i wnat?

erm.. a clock? yellow colour..
erm.. T-shirts? or clothes? for university!! haha.. must be youngster type! dun want pple to think i uncle again.. =(
the rest? eh.. anything liao lor.. mp3player watch.. earphones .. if i have mp3player.. yellow pref.. cards. . sweater! (that kind which is warm and not like windbreaker. ) need to get lenses aslo.. but that's my own expenditure maybe..

think office getting me clothes laio.. sigh.. it's such a funnie thing to ask for gifts...

end of blog.

ECA today.

yeapp.. went out to pasar malam today with shuhui, shuping, meijie, tengyan, lingqin, daniel..

think that conservations shoudl be recorded.. =)

talking bout back slided brethren.. erm.. i think i felt helpless in many ways..
heard about the many pple who visited liangkiang.. i realised that when i tot i wanted, and actually have planned to visit him, but i did not. erm.. just think that i should have done it. i should have shown more concerns to pple around. this does not restrict to the churhc.. i am thinkin bout my friends outside too. no wonder my ciricle of friends dwindle.. cosi am not making enough effort..

anyway, i think liangkiang knows what's going now and he's strugllilng with his thoughts too. just as i am, somehow, i think i , as well as many, understand what is he going thru.. i have backslided too.. and now i am resolved (God knows how long).. but yes.. hope he will be back soon.

with xiuyi.. i really hope that she will call me back or reply sms.. sigh.. felt so, unable.

honghao and bohao.. they are facing parental objections and hence not coming.. yes.. con't to pray for them. i really thought that they have been brave and of good courage. and i esp will like to give them all the support that i can. (maybe cos i see myself in them.. ) this burden to provide help and support and to encourage and commend them for what they have done so far. hm.. sms them more frequently..

something i learnt from mee mee, that is to be generous with your sms and words.. yes.. that's what i have learnt from the shomerim pple visiting liangkinag too..

oh yes.. humility!! message from this sunday's message. yes.. i msut con't to strive.. till then can i be happy with myself and other.!!! may the Lord, my God be the person i am lookin up to. and not to strive for vain attentions and glory.

tuesday with morie.

been reading the book for the past few days.. going to finish it soon. yes.. it's a nice book giving you insights about life from a dying person. he says words which sounds like pearls of wisdom. mainly tellin us that earning money is not the most impt thing but the pple that you are having, and the time invested in people will be evidently more 'profitable' than money. it's your wife who will be with you at your deathbed and take care of you when you are sick. it's the vists from friends that he treasures. till he's going to die, he can still be optismistic about his illness and con't trying to be useful, by trying to talk to pple and give pple advice. but then, each time when he mentioned about what's the real and impt thing in life, i start to wonder if he's saying is correct. i mean.. he's dying but not dead. how can he be sure that the philosophy he's holding is correct even after death?

this book is one of the best-selling books. i guess maybe they think that the words of the dying person is worth listening to. they know that it's a true account for there's such a person called morie. but then again... what if hundred years down the road, will they still be interested and take the converstaions recorded in the book as beneficial? wil lthey think that it's a book purely fictional and the character is also a fiction? we have the Bible today, which gives us the true account of the true person who came to this earth 2000 years ago. not only that he says things and teaches many lessons about life before his pending death, he rose again and gave more lessons and warning to us concering our whereabouts after our deaths. why wun we believe in the account?

nvm.. but well.. it's a true account and that's why many have believed then. even then, as well as now, we are still givin the faith to believe.. i wish to world will believe.. and come to know that there's this God. and not other types of gods..

for those who believes in science and truly believes that this world is formed from nothing.. you believe in your experients and text books etc.. generations of years down the road, will they still believe that watever written in our textbooks? will they ever thing that it's a conspiracy to standardize all the textbooks in the world to tell us the there's a water-cycle etc.. if they can.. why woundn'twe believe the accoutns our forefathers wrote for us in the bible, that we may believe and know

well.. i dun know..

i ask my mother... what will i be?

when i was a little a boy, i asked my mother what will i be? will i be handsome? will i be rich? this's what she said to me...

what ever will be, will be.

---

back in dhs we spend time learning how to be leaders and even to understand pple. yeap for a period of time i tot that there are indeed different type of leaders around and i belong to this type and he belongs to that. and we have different kind of pple around us and hence we motivate and 'lure' them differently..

ideally, i will be the one who works with the rest, and use subtle words, to let opinions and suggestions be carried out (even if that's not my success formula), and to blend in with the team, gently leading them to the direction required. to accept the burden and shoulder the blame for the rest of the team to grow and learn, to experience and to understand. that i will still be in background, be that insignificant helm, small and out of sight, yet contributing to the journey.
or so i thought.

somehow i think those are just rubbish. cos it seems that human beings are just creatures that only respond to choleric approach. and they will rather run with the choleric into the deep waters than to float with the gentle flow to the harbour. felt that being insertive is the only ways to get heard. felt so unfulfilling.
---

i have this prob. that is to covet for all the stages of life. wish to be a kid that the kids will look up to. to be an adult that is taken care of. i crave over the situation pple are in which i have experienced it when i was much younger than they are. i have this problem of being attention seeking. bad bad bad.

---

i have this problem of stagnant knowledge.. and i need to acquire more to keep myself entertained. argh!!!

--

i have a prob, which is having too many problems.

bdae

let me try to remind myself.. and pray that tho i am celebrating my bdae soon, that I should still decrease and He should increase. that what i am doing is pleasing to Him. to check my heart, reminding myself that this is just for remberances/ties/kins sake and not for me to boast.

pray for wisdom to be discerning and level-minded as i proceed with the planning.

ord

have to announce..

ORD lor..

so much about writting memoirs.. haha.. laze is catching up with me..
bad boy.

holiday

yeah.. having holiday.. erm.. enjoying it. enjoy planning and doing all the things that come to mind each day. =)

invited shuhui, beepheng, shuping, meijie, lingqin to my place for the taiwan cup noodles supper. =) take a longer time to invite tengyan, and haha.. quite funnie.. as if he's not wanted. hahah..

---

think i have this real bad habit. that i am an attention seeker. i wish to be the norm and the centre everytime. heard tengyan sharing bout his experience with the chinese from heilongjiang etc.. erm.. i was thinking that it's a nice experience for him (so nice). but i forgotten that all the things that he's doing are things that i was doing in sec 3. ya.. it's like erm.. those are things which i have done it so long ago. sigh.. what am i thinkin..

---

tmr.. erm.. driving lesson.

Taiwan Trip Photos

Taiwan Trip, erm.. i mean Exercise photos. =)

back to Singapore

i am back to Singapore for 2 days.. erm.. start to face the reality of spending money in taiwan.. and yes.. i have to get my things back in place which includes the web pages that i have promised pple.

jiwei started this shop at plaza sing opposite dbs bank. it's g-mask.. nope it's not a comsmetic mask but a phone laminating thingie.. finally he's doing something that is not about arcade and machines. haah.. but it seems that it's hard on him.. to deal with the cost and salaries to his employees.. yes.. his employees..

been reading tuesday with morrie (in chinese, cos i bought it in taiwan) haha.. it's a nice book but i kinda dread to con't it.. erm.. the content strikes me and cause me to think about the way i ought to live my life.

i tot i have found my focus.. but i was wrong.. i have this wide screen lens in my eyes which cause to me to set my thoughts on every little thigns that pple have..

edwin ong (discom) told me about his friend who is the ACC for erm.. 4 SIR.. and describe him as someone who is indispensable in his unit. his life and workload is like hell.. i almost tot that i will wnat to be like him.. cos i think it's nice to be capable of such..

but then again, when i see pple have easy life in unit slacking, i will think that i wouldn't mind that kind of life..

wat am i driving at? i hav little idea of what i can and want to be.

spending my time in church. yah.. in fact, after one month in taiwan, i told myself that i will miss all my sabbaths and shomerims.. but on the other hand, felt like spreading my time to all my associates and friends.. ya.. what do i wnat/ i dun know..

acutally, i know.. but i am not following them.. and i switch my directions often.

i am now eager to download the photos into the com and upload them into the net and maybe dedicate a website to my trip hee.. okie. that will come after alan's and (hong+bo)haos' web.

day 26

wow!! next week today i will be in singapore for 2 days liao!! wonder what will i do once i reach singapore. who will i first meet up with.. who will first notice my arrival. or who will realise my departure in the first place.. haha..

27th - flying off at 2050hrs
28th - 0050hrs, reached singapore. (of cos no work on that day) (must remember to go for medical appt and take a whole lot of medicince before i ORD)
29th - off
30th - saturday
1st - sunday (finally)
2nd - mon, off
3rd - tue, off
4th - wed, off
5th - go back office.. (and spend money.. )

where the offs come from.. well.. 30 days in taiwan, 3 days isn't too much right?

day 25

today is a super bad day for me.. dun know why.. think that i am being such a xiao ren and failure..

fred says that i am talking in an agitated manner.. guess i am, when i am talking to some pple. okie.. maybe i am in the wrong.. but well, i dun quite like the idea that he says i am talkin differently cos i am 3sg.. argh.. okie.. i need a mirror.. for reflection. most prob i will be disgusted by myself and plunge into a deeper trough..

now i dun dare to return back to office, cos darrell emailed to tell me that the printer he bought based on my recommendation is not parallel port enabled!! .. shucks lor.. i DID check and that OCS lady double checked and confirmed some more! what went wrong?? i really dun know.. but i really no face to go back and face him.. argh.

things are getting quite incredible..

by right, i am supposed to write about my 'excursion' today.. to manzhou, to haikou, to kuanshan, chuhuo and so one.. and talk bout their lek dao shuan blah.. talk bout my long trip which make my face turned black (so much so that ms to says that i am tanned).. but i am not in the mood to do so.. i feel that.. good things are coming to an end.

what am i doing? haha. argh.. what am i thinking.. my heart is in a whirlpool now.. too much to think about.. and yet i dun seemed to be capable of thoughts, deep thoughts.

day 24

today.. erm.. okie lah..

there's something about me that i cannot stand it myself.. i like to have what pple have.. reallie.. it's super bad and disgusting.. i wish to have everything.. with to get to know all the pple around and wish to be friends with many pple.. it's like grabbing many things in one hand..

of cos, some judgemental thoughts set in.. felt that vina isn't very erm.. forthcoming and it seems that he's workin in a 'i think i am busy' manner. yes.. i know store is not easy to handle but i dun see him being very busy.. as in, he has time to slack also... he has time to nap at times when things are not very busy.. dun know lah.. it's me being judgemental.. fred seems very gum with him.. boozing with him most of the time when he drinks.. on the other hand, ravi seems nicer, erm.. less complaints and just trying to finish his job .. yea..

my previous driver's car broke down.. hence, we changed the driver (the driver is tagged to the vehicle) .. this new driver is quite okie.. but since it's the last week liao.. guess will not get to know him well.. hope to touch on the Gospel before i leave this place... this is my 3rd driver liao.. sigh.. nv get to knwo them well enough before changing..

yesterday a roc soldier walked out of the cookhouse and he saluted me~ hah.. i was like, turn left turn right, who is behind me.. haha.. heard of such cases but nv thought it will really happen, and to me.

it is better to have a good friend than to have someone who listens to you.. erm.. it's better to have good companion.. what am i trying to say.. well well.. just hoping for better and more depths in relatioships with pple around..

and i am going back to singapore sooN!.. in fact, it's next week.. exercise is going to cut on the 24th..

when you ahve gotten used to the norms in taiwan, it's the feelings and thoughts rather than experience that you will liek to jot down.. there's so many things that i wish i can remember and bring them back to singapore..~

day 16

i have this problem.. that is to feel comfortable when everyone gets comfortable with everybody.. low esteem.. and having probs making good friends..

things get worse when the guys start to talk about girls and stuffs plus etc.. feel like withdrawing from them but yet that's the topic, for them and almost the one and only topic.. dun know lah.

get to know few pple, mostly frm discom.. erm.. well.. not in depth but impressions made.

timothy. english speaking, capabilitis fully exploited in saf. and he feels not good about it. will like to be an offr (of cos). laments bout saf and he's gettig out soon anyway..

edwin, vs, nyj. one year my junior.. erm. have this cheerful friendly look

terrence, big built, walking around with the nicotine gum in his mouth most of the time.. give me that xiao1 sa3 seh.. hha.a. oh yes.. he's one of the pple i have sent for bmt recourse..

qin yixi, very positive and ren lao ren yuan.. always smiling in midst of his work.. impressive. hehe..

shawn, dhs junior, talked to him only during army..

boh, think his behavior isn't very acceptable in the generally standards of his colleagues.. and when i saw him, i felt that i am almost like him.. i guess i am just too self-cautious.. argh..

i think i should lie down.. and blend into the background.. yet i cannot do that most of the time.. felt that i am doing the rest a disservice if i am resting or having a good job scope.. argh.. what am i thinkin.. i shouldn't be concerned bout anything here.. just spend my days..

saw baisheng today at renshou.. ta xiang yu gu zhi, bu yi le hu.. and not forgetting andy to on kin, whomi met days ago too.. it's a small world after all..