today is a good day

fellow shomerim,

Today is a nice day for me because i am reminded by the Lord that, HE is with me. i was about to leave my room for a lecture at 330pm, just as i was about to wear my shoes, i realised that i haven read a passage of devotion for the day... (normally i take about 30 mins to reach Engineering faculty), but still, i stepped back into the room to read.. and thank God that i am encouraged.. so much that i can still remember what the punchline. ("can you remember what you have done for QT today?" that's the question Pastor Ronny challenged us at FCM)

the impt thing is, i wasn't last for lect.. the Bus came once i reach the bus stop, the traffic is clear, and i have time for a plate of chicken rice.. you may think that it's just normal to have clear traffic at 3pm.. but but but.. i still believe it has to do with the hands of God.

lect and then lect and we has a class dinner. 11 of us turned up 5 gals and 6 guys.. it's our first class dinner (in fact it's like a self-intro session after months being in the same class.. !!!).. the situation is awkward, and since i initiated the dinner and ask them out.. i am trying so hard to crack unfunnie jokes.. it gets especially embarassing when we are choosing seats during dinner..

the turning point comes after i have prayed for God's help when i was saying grace for the food for myself. and i think we had a good time of laughter. it comes naturally, maybe you will say, but, i tell myself, it's God helping me.

i left at 830pm to rush back hostel for a 830pm reshearsal.. in the end, i think i still make it in time cos the rest are later than me.. haha. (again, you may think that's human nature, but i shan't discredit God for that again)

all in all, i just hope that all these thougths can help me to be more cheery.. now, in school and days to come.

=) smile! it goes a long way.. haha.. =)

journalism! since when..

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing. Journalism 100% Philosophy 83% Sociology 75% Theater 75% Mathematics 67% Dance 67% Art 67% Chemistry 67% Anthropology 67% Linguistics 67% Engineering 58% English 42% Psychology 33% Biology 33% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

最近还好

如果撇开将来的责任，以后的担忧， 后来的债务，我最近很好。

一人的生活，有着自己的小房间，读一些刊物，圣经解读，在网上游览别人写的网上日子。哲学的我享受这种寻觅真理的旅程。可是人生不免需要为神与人负责。所以我不可以颓废，要开始用工读书。也要想想该怎么让爱我疼我的人感受到爱。说的不是别人，而是我自己的父母。

前天，回家的时候，发现弟弟一人躲在房里，妈妈跟姑姑等诉说自己的两个儿子和她没有沟通。本想化解弟弟和妈妈之间的？？？。 可是交谈中，感受到妈妈有点，少了母亲的骄傲。言语中都是“是我错啦？你们都不跟我说，也是我错。”
心里很内疚。明明我很敬爱的母亲，为什么那么的不满意我们之间的关系。老实说，搬进宿舍后还真更加能够感受到她是那么得疼我。回家时的嘘寒问暖，还不是准备食物让我带回宿舍。点点滴滴，我都深深的记在心里。可是，没想到我的淡淡无语会让她....

我和弟弟的性格，多少也是妈妈的作风所硕造。现在不理想的地方，如果怪罪于她，她又不高兴。这事，真难。

Narnia

managed to watch King Kong and Narnia, on the same recent Wednesday. it's just enjoyable to have movie marathon..

decided to catch King Kong cos i heard that it's a good show.. and realised that i have time for Narnia and i wouldnt want to give this Chronicles a miss.

in the end? i think Narnia appeals to me more, maybe becos of the underlying meaning.

---

i have read another person bloggin about how he especially noticed about the Lion walking to his death and how sad it is when his mane is being shaved. but to me, this is not something that strikes me.

it's the depravity of man portrayed thru edmond that strikes me. how often we are like edmond, thinking that the white witch can really offer us to be a king in this world, and she will be able to offer us our desires such as turkish candies... in order to please the white witch, we gave up our families. in actual fact, our real kingship is in the real Narnia, the one that is in Spring and not cold winter. but we, humanly, failed to see the true home prepared for us in the heaven above.

winter depicts well the world we are in. it's fun seemingly, with the white snow and beautiful ice caps and what have you.. but, we din't realise winter is actually lifeless and without warmth, unlike Spring..

so, let us remind ourselves, to fight the battle like Peter and be on the Lord's side. for victory is ours when we called on His name.

--

there are parts where by the story is different from the Bible. of cos, i dun expect it to be totally like the Bible, because none can be 100% Bible except for the Bible itself. the story is just an inspirational story.

in the story, the White Witch delights in the death of the Lion; but in real life, Satan is trying to stop the death of Jesus, even to the extent of offering him the earthly kingdom if He would not go to the cross.


--

for those who have not heard the Gospel before and have watched Narnia:

did you see how much agony the Lion went thru in order to pay for Edmond's betrayal? are you moved by his act, to give up his life to save the betrayer?

actually, in life, we are like edmond, betraying our Creator and turn to White Witch (Satan) thinking that she can provide our delights e.g. turkish delights~ but when the white witch showed her true ugly intention which is to perish us (just as Satan desiring us to perish in hell), we turn to the lion for help. but the truth is, if you are willing to go to the lion, he will save you. If you today are willing to go the Jesus Christ, He will save you too. think ye, today, which side are you on?

only child?

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

handwriting test

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. [true]
You are a person who thinks before acting, intelligent and thorough.[quite true, but not sure if that's really intelligent]
You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish. [true]
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! [true]
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others. [false, i think i care too much bout how pple think]

what do you see?

what are you seeing in the picture? look carefully..........

























do you see dolphins? haha.. it shows how not childlike you are.

i wish i were of some help

new year.. glad to see honghao and bohao to be able to come for christmas eve and new year eve service, best of all, able to attend church service the next day. guess i am quite concerned about them.. why? dun know... guess they reminds me of my day when i was in sec 3/4.. and i really dun wish to see any more pple falling away from the race.. instead of saying that i wish i can encourage them, i guess it's more often that i am encouraged by them..

sometimes, i wonder what can i do? wanted to ask them out for outings but in the end we ended up feeling empty during outings.. wish to have bible study with them.. but tot i cant do that.

often, i wonder what can i do that is useful.. but i guess i have to remind myself once again with the fact: God looks at the heart when i serve and not the area of service. and more importantly, truly, shouldn't be careful and worrying over many things when i am serving. yesh.. may this be in my mind..

---

one day if i can talk to hh and bh's mom anonymously: "hey.. do you understand that your children are all grown up.. they have a mind of their own.. and you have to face this sooner or later. that they will one day choose to love or like someone / somethings that you dun. are you going to choose their girlfriends and wives next time? or are you expecting them to following what you are believing, even when they have a mind of their own.. .. "

--

a.ket says that she read my blog recently. .. the last time she read it , i gues was the time when i commented bout jeshua breaking the glass ball at u.john's house.. this time, i make mentioned about jeshua not being exactly happy on the christmas eve night due to the stayover at jaslyn's place..

--

there's so little that one person can do.. but i should have the faith that God can work wonders thru things that i am not confident about.. sometimes, i will use my human understanding and comment in my heart that the speaker aren't speaking well and not capturing the audience. how can the message get across?? little did i realise that God's Word's effectiveness is independant of the speaker. when it's being expounded, it will work in the hearts of people... when i tot it's not applying and effective in myheart, it will work in another person's heart. !!!

random thoughts

我也许注定不成气候。一生中午一长处。本来我自己以为每有长处就是我的优点，因为我虽不精，但我可以广，可以对许多事物都少有知识。可是我似乎已停止吸收新知识，成天讲的都是老生常谈，陈闻旧事。如今我停滞不前，心里一点喜悦也没有。为什么？？ 也许是因为我不曾在任何事，人，处逗留太久吧。总是在椅子没坐热就离开。我已打算明年离开guitar com。为什么？我想是因为我仍然在找自己。是不是因为我没给自己学吉他的机会？还是我天性懒散？我最不希望知道是我没什么天分，“六艺”全都不行。 sigh...

jeshua 今天因为去jaslyn的家的希望几乎破灭而闷闷不乐，但后来希望有出现的时候，仍然不高兴，我问他为什么，他说，"i dun know what i am thinking and feeling, just feel not happy."

boon how 在圣诞卡写着："dun worry about you being childish". 我读了,不知道该怎么想.一方面,证明我还能有童真,另一方面,我在向,我是否超龄了呢?明年我就会教little ark, 我是否能胜任? 我有能力于权力教rachel , esther 等等的大孩子吗?? 我是否应该从tabertots 开始呢?? 回想一下为什么我当初选择little ark... 记得了,是因为我认为他们分班后会需要更多的老师.. hmm.. 对. 我想因该不会出错..

christmas eve

at home waiting little ark teachers to come over for meeting. after which, the church will come for christmas eve service (1st stop of the day). i know God has been so gracious to me. if i have to list:

He gave me friends when i was alone.
gave me a place to worship Him when i was in NS.
gave me time to think and serve in church even when i am not capable.
gave me kind parents, willing to welcome my church friends, attend my brother's baptism and open up our house for christmas when they are not christians.
gave me the freedom to handle my studies.
gave me enough to spend
when i tot i was alone in hall, God gave christian friends as my neighbours to talk at times, when i tot i have no activities to join, gave Jingwen to open up doors for me.
what more can i say? if tmr comes and all things are taken away from me, may i learn to cont to trust in Him.

the time has come that i cannot produce good school results.. wat else can i do? i am still searching.

deep down in my heart, i know what God's approval and disapproval of the things that i can may will do.. it all goes down to me and my obedience.

----

it's christmas. do you know what does Christmas mean? let me tell you.

有一件礼物
你收到没有
眼睛看不到
你心会知道

这一件礼物
心门外等候
是为了你准备别人不能收

亲爱的朋友
你是否想到
马槽的婴孩
是为你而来
亲爱的朋友
你是否了解
最好的礼物是人子主耶稣

out

no A, 1 C, time to get used to it.

funnie..

My dear Jaggit, I am in a well here and hope u are in a well there too. I am writing this letter slowly cause i know u cannot read fast. We dont live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper the most accidents happen twenty miles from home, so we moved twenty miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last person who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so that they wouldnt have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here so that our address will remain the same. This place is really nice, it even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet. Im not too sure it works well. Last week i put in three shirts, pulled the chain and havent seen them since. The weather here is not too bad. it only rained twice. The first time it rained for three days and the second time it rained for four days.The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said that it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons... so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has a new job,he has 500 men under him. He cuts grass at a cemetery. By the way, I took yr sister Bahhu to our clubs poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that her two piece swimming suit was not allowed in his club.We were confused as to which piece we should remove.Your sister had a baby this morning, i havent found out if it is a girl or a boy so, I dont know if your an aunt or an uncle. By the way, your uncle, jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them of bravely and drowned. We cremated him and burned him for three days.Now its the end of the year, your best friend Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fufil his father's last wishes.His father wished to be burried under the sea when he died and your friend died in the process of digging the grave. There is not much more news this time, NOTHING MUCH has happened. This year, your uncle, dad and best freind died. Nothing much though.
Love, mom
Ps: i was about to send you some money but by the time i realised,i had already sealed off this letter.

Blessed Christmas

http://www.syfc.org.sg/christmas05/index.swf

scarily true

i dun like this quote, esp when i realise that i find it to be true to much extent. it's especially true in an imperfect world we have..

"violence can solve everything. if it can't, it means you are not violent enough"

often, people who get their way are loud, the rest drowned in their voices. people who are getting attention are big (in actions, movement and comments) but people enjoy such dramatic acts.

okie.. i am critical. how??

kemaman mission trip

back from mission trip. what touches me this time is Pr Joshua Koo.. being able to trust in the Lord and continue to work for Him when he doesn't even have a congregation to have a sunday service. the christmas gospel rally started off with only a few youths. while i was so worried that that will be the whole crowd, i prayed to God and asked Him to bring more pple to the rally. meanwhile, the wife moved the primary school children in the midst from the scantuary to the side room, fearing that there will not be enough seats for the adults. O what great faith she has. N.B. it has been raining heavily for the past 24 hours. in singapore, we will most probably expect no one to step out of house with this kind of weather. so, the point is taken, that we just have to work for the Lord, and not for men. only when we keep our eyes on the Lord that we can continue to do what we are called to do.

so, am i keeping my eyes on the Lord only? i think not. i am too distracted with too many eyes around me. when i was interpreting for uj, whenever i start to feel that people are looking at me, i will say a silent prayer and ask the Lord to help me to focus on Him only. it works! however, men are so depraved. even when we know that one way or method is better than the other, we wil still stray from the only right path that is good for us. i just can't keep myself from noticing others.

recently, i have been too critical, which is making me very unhappy. i am unhappy with a critical me, at the same time, unhappy with people around me, about the things they do and think. why am i putting myself in such misery?
A guy is always too emotion-free and oblivious bout others, which hurts me.
B guy is always too sure of himself which irritates me
C guy is always too full of himself which bothers me.
D guy is always too talking and not doing much and it puzzles me.
are you having such kind of thoughts? i am eliminating, trying to. may God helps me.

getting philosophical

once in a while, as usual, i will revisit this topic again, that is why am i blogging. the original intention of blogging like a columnist is not attained cos i am too personal with person and myself - i talked about myself more than any thing. haha.. but i guess i will still continue, to make sure i can recollect my thoughts next time.

just watched 前线追踪 . it's about taxi drivers loitering around the town waiting for "on call". for that 4 dollars, tourists are having a bad impressions of singapore for they can't get a cab for 30 to 50 min. and of cos singaporeans suffered as they are forced to call cab. however, somehow, i jus think that the big bad guys are not the taxi drivers (they are just trying to survive, "survive" is the key word. i really think that they are just earning just enough. ) so who is the big bad guy? of cos it's the taxi companies, they are charging too too much for the rental. anyone who knows economics will know that this the price /cost will eventually be transferred to the consumers when the demand elasticity is low.

hence, of cos the drivers cannot afford to take the cost upon themselves and hence they will naturally choose a place whereby the demand is inelastic (city). economics explained it all. who benefited? the taxi companies!!

i am so disgusted.

anyway, just came back from church camp. quite relaxing this time. =)

After Sem Review

it's not an easy road. it's not an easy choice from the start.

i set off trying to tell myself that if God can bring me to it, He can bring me thru it. Indeed, by His grace, i have endured the semester.

it all started with hall or no hall, when i realised that i am the only one in sheares. at the same time, realised that royston, weixiong, yuwei are in KR. but i stayed, in sheares. i remember clearly that i have prayed regarding this matter and say that i will accept watever comes. since, it's by His choice that i got Sheares, so be it. i waited to see if there's a place for me in sheares.

due to my personality, i guess it's difficult for me to step forward and be outgoing. somehow, it has to do with the innate ability and erm.. confidence level. but nevertheless, God brought to me liwei, ivan along the way, to give me someone to turn to in times of need. not forgetting neighbours like wei wei who is there to spur me on. when i joined vcf as and when, i found zhihan to be having same doctrinal stands with me=) that's so cool.! it may not be what i have thought or wanted it to be, but still, i have pulled thru.

somehow, thanks to Jingwen, i got my committments easily - SP, tech crew and CMB. guess i am a bit reliant on him but well.. no choice ba. ~

modules gotten, quite smoothly except for managerial econs. cost me a lot of pts.. but it has brought me friends and opportunities to work with bernard, jeff, syeh li, binh, ravel, boon how, ngoc..

thru CTW, i know wee kwok and christopher...

thru my core subjects.. got to know lip chong, andy, ben, junta, here and there a bit of pple. supposed to be class rep, but i guess me quite slack .haha. !~ so paiseh

thru fna, got to know bernard better..

not forgetting weilun, micheal, mk in GEK 1535...

in short, thank God that i have friends somehow.

finished my last paper today. have i done well? nope, definitely. not becos i ahve taken 6 mod. it's jsut that, i cannot study. dun have the heart to study. why!!~ i dun know why, but i have to face the music somehow when the results are out. sigh. i can only pray, harder.

talking bout praying, i must admit that i have been weak in my walk with God. often times, i forsake Him and go my own ways, blindly, stubornly. i know i am wrong many times, but i just can't turn back, over and over again. keep telling myself that He has given me many wakeup calls but just refuse to heed. have to change if not my next sem is not getting any better.

holidays starting, so, i guess i have to enjoy before the results are out. =)

i want this car next time, in yellow

射雕英雄传-结句

兵火有余烬，贫村才数家。 无人争晓渡，残月下寒沙！

xiangying's birthday

as usual, i cannot help it. but somehow, i am the furthest guy from the rest of the group..