when the times are tough, fall on knees

when the times are tough, fall on knees

i know, the dark clouds above are pushing me to my knees.

i know that is what i should do.. i am getting closer to the ground.

problematic maths.. jus like hysys

tag tag

this post to show that i am around...

yeap.. i hope i wasnt the one criticising about hair. cos i never. cos i am one myself.

shux.. i think that;s the only line i can think of tagging. cant name more pple whom i think will be reading.

anyway... what's the result of being non-emo? it's what i am now. i do feel a bit when i was deprived of attention. but then again, i decided to shrug the stupid idea. anyway, who gives a damn about you for life?
non-emo is a double-edged sword.

what and why should we believe

getting out of dogmas

I am trying to get out of details. and trying to stop conforming to pple's perceptions. as much as i can. for now.

i am busy.. yes i am.

fyp, design. finding jobs, finding tuitions, finding money
trying to read notes, tutorials, literature
trying to write thoughts and
trying to make time for Him.

if i am going to be locked up in a concentration camp. i wonder what will be my core value and what will keep me alive inside.
most get of out the camps with a strong relationships - ambition, family, God.

what will i do?

what will you do? how sure are you?

maybe i should be looking for something that i reallie hold dearly for. but what will it be?

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

God and the mammon

When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

Rest if i must but don't i quit. maybe I shouldnt be resting. i hav been resting for far too long. In a serious dilemma, if i seek to earn, it's useless unless God bless the work. but if i wait for provision, i am not doing my part.

I think i am NOT losing it. but i just have to find fellowship in the sweet. when will it be? should i change myself to fit the crowd? i think i haven been trying hard enough. probably i don't wish to try so hard. seriously, why should i try so hard?

i need a ear and who will it be?

a place to vent

yes..

this is going to be a KP blog.. haha.. stay  tune for more Kao pEh stuffs..

meanwhile, i will try to finish up my oneyearinshanghai ending post with my rocky, shaky, problematic laptop. my excuse? everything i hesitate to work on photos and stuffs cos my lappy seems to be allergic to it. it will auto shut off whenever i need to do some heavy work.

i have no choice but to stay hall i guess.. i need the programmes and computers in school. but then again, the cost of hall can buy me a new laptop le. excuses again..

Ernest Wong
(65) 98178465

dun care

actually, i am almost there...

many times, we realie dun have to care so much about what pple think about me. cos what they think about me most prob doesnt matter. it's just going to be a joke to them or just some topic to talk about..

what is more important is what do i think about myself.

meanwhile,
i am still trying to do a few things.. but each step is limited by some lack of resources. then again. laziness is still the main cause.

it's not right to be slothful. and it's going to change. i know it. i can feel it. it's different now.
Ernest Wong
(65) 98178465

giving leeways

i am quite sure that i am always pretty irritated if people are assumptious about things.
honestly, i reallie think that i am most of the time not late when i am meeting people.

in fact, most of the time i am early cos the rest of the world is always late.
even when i ended work at 7, i am still early for a dinner that is supposed to start at 730.

probably most pple think that i am always in a rush, hence i am always late. but.. well.. sometimes, it's about rushing to be early.

okie.. i am late for things like lecture.. that is because i choose to!
Ernest Wong
(65) 98178465

welcome back to singapore

[15:49] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: oh yes
[15:49] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: you want to run sundown marathon??
[15:49] !GaBe~: sleeping: no way
[15:49] !GaBe~: sleeping: haha
[15:49] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: they say you want to run leh
[15:49] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: haha
[15:49] !GaBe~: sleeping: wHO?
[15:50] !GaBe~: sleeping: they siao kian u ah
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: the year 4s lor
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: they say, jio gabe.. you dun jio him, he will also jio you
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: haha
[15:50] !GaBe~: sleeping: who is the year 4s?
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: erm.. ithink chio and allan bah
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: haha
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: no.
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: i think it's jingwen
[15:50] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: haha
[15:51] !GaBe~: sleeping: welcome back to singapore
[15:51] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: haha
[15:51] [ernest] [黄信源][SHopple][sbdl] singapore.. room in ultimate mess: back to the land of siowkiens??????????
[15:51] !GaBe~: sleeping: yah
[15:51] !GaBe~: sleeping: haha
[15:51] !GaBe~: sleeping: how can u believe them
[15:51] !GaBe~: sleeping: haha

Creative.!!!

Beautiful painting

Drawn by a 14yo. No wonder we need a budding artiste fund..=)

if you dun hear from me anymore

one day, if you realise that i hav stop talking to this space. i have shifted to another place to talk to myself. you should know what's the next address... if you can infer enough. or you can ask from me, that's only if the past 3 and a half years of whining hasn't put you away. =)

dear diary

was reading my interpersonal communication textbook and there's a picture that they use to illustrate a person with low self esteem:

a guy was writing with a sad face : "dear diary, sorry to bother you again... "

so? what does that mean bout bloggers who whine. nope.. nothing is absolute.

---

what's the main highlight of today that i can talk about? i dun know. nothing. and that's precisely why i am here blogging. sudden change of atmosphere. the corridor is empty and quiet. it's the time of the year. yesh. have to study.

at the same time, here to remind myself about the things to do:
1. finish up projector, get quotes for mics (doing)
2. finish up filing for church events
3. study
4. keep positive, make the choice.

things that i am happy about...
1. the availablity of people talking to me. i guess it's right to give myself the 2nd chance to stay hall again.
2. nice classmates and lecture partners who helped me so much. one day i shall be as motivated.

however, trying not to neglect..
my family. my friends.

when you cheong together

someone out there, dun like to commit
dun like to cheong
dun like to be exhasted.

someone out there, slacking one corner
wishing to be involved
wishing that he's part of the blood and sweat

someone out there, lament for not putting in effort
complain for not being in the group
sadden over the lack of common experience

it's a tough job, and you dun wish to take it up.
however, when you see people enduring it thru
you wish you were part of them.

that's the irony

自闭

有些人喜欢以伤害自己来报复，来传达信息。可惜别人往往只会讶异/惊奇的看待你的举动。所以，就算大家是真心对你，使你的朋友，如果你不把新们敞开，小动作/明示或是暗示也都不可能对方“正确”的对待你。因为，你太难以捉摸了。
所以，尽量不要自闭。因为虽是求救的信号，但不是每个人能察觉到的。何必然自己处在一个可能窒息的情况下等待支援，不如敞开胸襟，带着微笑，迎接一切。

你，不要太执著了。

love actually

watched love acutally in the middle of the night. a wonderful movie which encompass many forms of love. cross culture and wiling to bridge the difference by learning the language; puppy love which buds with the encouragement of a father; love developed over comfortable conversation; loving family above bf, a miss in romance but the family ties bond; love of a prime minister; love of a commoner; love forgives and forbear when the other party strays from the marriage; loving your friend's wife and one day making his love known and being acknowledge with a little kiss is enough.

i wonder how nice it is to be like the movie, where you shows your love and get reciprocated. it seems that if you put in your heart into it, you will be appreciated. the prob is, some people in life just couldnt put his whole heart into it. he has other agenda in mind and things to account for. i guess he will fall under that girl who loves responsibility above romance... and of cos, for her, love dint bloom.

and so it seems... that love is being portrayed in a free expression. i am kinda shaken by my own definition of love. i have nv experienced my own version before for too long a time that i start to wonder if it will appear.

level 6 supper

i used to post such pictures now and then in my blog and other group blogs.. such as shom blog. however, shom blog has evolved into another purpose and i guess my original motive and intention of a group blog can be found else where. the question is, how long will it take to find its own meaning of a group blog? until it's the people who matters and not the content.

satire

i dun even know how to spell that high-brow word but if you are reading this, you get what it supposed to mean..

quoting a friend who says that blogs are for fags. it seems indeed that it's not dignified for a grown-up man to be whining to no avail but should be rightful in his fight and pursue for ideals. which leads to many exciting blogs we see online.

mr brown is well known by all for his guts and opinions made public. however, it was much a concern for garmen (quoting rockson.blogspoot, which incidentally is another opinionated blog) that one person's opinion made public may influence and sway innocents minds to a skewed perspective. maybe i can justify which a theory i have learnt in school, NUS, the self-proclaim world class university, that sometimes when a person is confused, another person's interpretation could hav given him the convenient platform to board and assume his thoughts. so maybe the garmen's concern is not unfounded.

then it goes to people who gives insightful writings about religion. it's especially to gain appluase from general public when you are writing from a "objective" view and commenting on the religions which are, in the eyes of many, causing trouble. the clever and wise (if you think they are) people seemed to hav objectively found the root problems of conflicting interests. as what my DM in sch school hav said, 宗教是用来谋人类的福利的， 不是吗？历史上有的是君王用宗教和思想来控制人们。千万不要反过来被宗教控制。however is it true? it's a matter of your worldview. (if little ark pple are reading, wonder if you can relate to your lessons)

does it only takes famous bloggers to give satire and remarks about situations? nope. there are natural writers who engaged people to keep up with their blog entries becos of their views on things happening around, e.g. hall. and that is what SHAM set forth to do. to be a voice for shearites. www.sheares.nus.edu.sg/shamnet to be a voice to speak about things unsaid. good intention but i guess more gutsy opinions are needed.

things have been said about life in hall bout no one has said much about JCRC. isnt' that what sham is supposed to do? people hav been talking about the order of comms opening is wrecking plans of year ones who tries to accumulate enough points to stay for next year. seniors do comment that publicity is up by a notch this year. and all these are left talking in the rooms only.. sham sham. live up your name.

till now, i have failed to achieve my aim. that is to write about things and comment about happenings. reason for failing? i am not aware of what's going on. i am stucked with things i am not very interested at this moment and yet not engaging myself in things that really interests me. a frog in the well i am becoming.