i feel sad because
i stand with a different group of pple each time we have rooftop meetings.
i hangout with chris etc after i have ctw/phy lab; weilun when i have GEK lect, jeff and bern when i have biz mod. i dun find pple and meet them after lessons. there's no one i can safely call for nothing much. somehow, i think i know pple, but i dun befriend them enough. maybe i'm just asking too much.
anyway, today after the maths test, i kinda miss yuwei, huawei, weilun. or maybe not. i nv found a comfortable company to discuss tests. erm.. well, but i remember feeling much better walking out of common tests with them.
anyway, i will move on, and i know God will have His purpose for the things. i just need to get right with God again.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
finishing a (chirstian) run
i have a (christian) run today round nus campus. for those who knows nus, it's the A2 route. from sheares hall (home) down the slope easily with adequate energy but doubting if i can complete the run. then i pass by biz block. i can run a longer distance (achieve more for the Lord) by taking a loop from it. giving myself the posibility, i ran in. pass by yusoff hall and i have come to the uphill slope outside central library. expecting this (expecting trials), i put some effort into it and ran it. there are pple around (the world for me to witness to) and hence i try not to look too pathetic. by then, i had kinda slowed down and ivan (shomerim) who was running with me told me that, jog if you must, but dun walk.. (rest if you must but dun you quit).
ups and downs literally (figuratively), we came to NUH and soon outside NUS (unfarmiliar grounds) and ivan said turn left which led us to sciece park 1. we nearly lost our way, but we din't give up. looking at signs (listening to His voice), we found out way and we are on our way back to sheares (Home). i really tot i couldn;t make it anymore, but i know i must. there's 3 ways: run back, walk and reach much later, fell and go to hospital and then eventually back to hall again. i have to finish the run, and i know the energy and ability is there.
when things go wrong, i know why. i really know why, cos i am aware of my walk with God. but the defiant me refuse to obey. with much falls and failures, i will go back to Him, with my wounds and strips. today is a good day to repent and go back to the Lord. this is the day.
ups and downs literally (figuratively), we came to NUH and soon outside NUS (unfarmiliar grounds) and ivan said turn left which led us to sciece park 1. we nearly lost our way, but we din't give up. looking at signs (listening to His voice), we found out way and we are on our way back to sheares (Home). i really tot i couldn;t make it anymore, but i know i must. there's 3 ways: run back, walk and reach much later, fell and go to hospital and then eventually back to hall again. i have to finish the run, and i know the energy and ability is there.
when things go wrong, i know why. i really know why, cos i am aware of my walk with God. but the defiant me refuse to obey. with much falls and failures, i will go back to Him, with my wounds and strips. today is a good day to repent and go back to the Lord. this is the day.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
5 hours of msn chat
longest chat ever. with darrell. cannot believe it. what's the fuel for the chat? God.
No Nick Name says:
Why must god keep insisting that we believe that he exists without showing himself?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
make it far.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
gues syou will be great
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
wow.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
ya
No Nick Name says:
Why did you bring this up?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
so, erm, i guess i am just too ignorant to prove to you.
No Nick Name says:
I'm trying to understand your religion better.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
yesh.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i understand that.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you cannot accept others as they are.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you condemn non-believers.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i dun condemn them.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
if you talkin bout my friend
No Nick Name says:
And it also irks me to find out that although you do this, you believe that your God gives freedom of choice.
No Nick Name says:
No.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
it's just a guideline
No Nick Name says:
Your bible says so.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
for me to choose my life partner
No Nick Name says:
You call non-believers unrighteous.
No Nick Name says:
You call them the darkness.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
agreed
No Nick Name says:
How do you still stay faithful in this religion?
No Nick Name says:
How can you have so many conflicts?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
faith is the word
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
of cos, i cannot open my heart to show you my faith
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
but that's the reason.
No Nick Name says:
With so many conflicts in God's word, you can still have faith?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
because, to me, there's no conflict
No Nick Name says:
Not that I want to sound like a devil's advocate...
just some part of it. *sweat*.. but truely, i must say that Bible proclaims it all:
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
No Nick Name says:
Why must god keep insisting that we believe that he exists without showing himself?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
make it far.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
gues syou will be great
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
wow.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
ya
No Nick Name says:
Why did you bring this up?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
so, erm, i guess i am just too ignorant to prove to you.
No Nick Name says:
I'm trying to understand your religion better.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
yesh.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i understand that.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you cannot accept others as they are.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you condemn non-believers.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i dun condemn them.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
if you talkin bout my friend
No Nick Name says:
And it also irks me to find out that although you do this, you believe that your God gives freedom of choice.
No Nick Name says:
No.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
it's just a guideline
No Nick Name says:
Your bible says so.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
for me to choose my life partner
No Nick Name says:
You call non-believers unrighteous.
No Nick Name says:
You call them the darkness.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
agreed
No Nick Name says:
How do you still stay faithful in this religion?
No Nick Name says:
How can you have so many conflicts?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
faith is the word
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
of cos, i cannot open my heart to show you my faith
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
but that's the reason.
No Nick Name says:
With so many conflicts in God's word, you can still have faith?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
because, to me, there's no conflict
No Nick Name says:
Not that I want to sound like a devil's advocate...
just some part of it. *sweat*.. but truely, i must say that Bible proclaims it all:
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
to all NSF and NSman
will you fight for your country? will you? if it's fear that stops you, will love for your family cause you to fight.
if you think there's no pt defending small Singapore, do you think our small Singapore is exisiting?
2 years of NS. that's just your contribution to society. it may be a waste in watever you are thinking but , that's about it. in turn, we get 2 years of rest, stop and think and move on. not saying that we must be selfless, but let's be less selfish.
if you think there's no pt defending small Singapore, do you think our small Singapore is exisiting?
2 years of NS. that's just your contribution to society. it may be a waste in watever you are thinking but , that's about it. in turn, we get 2 years of rest, stop and think and move on. not saying that we must be selfless, but let's be less selfish.
Friday, September 23, 2005
phy test later.
yes, my phy test is coming soon. ~ i am worried, so i will go and pray harder later.
but this is not bout my physics test. was doing blog roaming and this time i took a look at klement's blog. seems that he's writing last words before leaving for uK. if i am not wrong, imperial also.
just feel like writing bout eugene. gonna missed him for a year cos he's going to uk also. 2nd friend in the group to go overseas. he's been such a long friend, since sec one. will always remember the days when we go to his house on fridays. the nights when he called me just to hold on to the phone until wee hours before he start talking. about the nights we talked about what secondary school friends will talk about. the times when we studies for O levels together. at his house. the swim as incentive after some studying. the many days spent at his house. the times when we will talk to no. 12 busstop to go home. the days when we were in diff jc and yet still in contact.
dun think he will have problems coping with studying overseas. think that's so like him. but i am sure, i hope, that during one of the days overseas, he will have a thought of all the things and companionship we have, together as friends, in singapore.
it's not long before he flies. it's just next friday midnight.
but this is not bout my physics test. was doing blog roaming and this time i took a look at klement's blog. seems that he's writing last words before leaving for uK. if i am not wrong, imperial also.
just feel like writing bout eugene. gonna missed him for a year cos he's going to uk also. 2nd friend in the group to go overseas. he's been such a long friend, since sec one. will always remember the days when we go to his house on fridays. the nights when he called me just to hold on to the phone until wee hours before he start talking. about the nights we talked about what secondary school friends will talk about. the times when we studies for O levels together. at his house. the swim as incentive after some studying. the many days spent at his house. the times when we will talk to no. 12 busstop to go home. the days when we were in diff jc and yet still in contact.
dun think he will have problems coping with studying overseas. think that's so like him. but i am sure, i hope, that during one of the days overseas, he will have a thought of all the things and companionship we have, together as friends, in singapore.
it's not long before he flies. it's just next friday midnight.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
God is still on the throne
Have the ones that once walked on the highway
Gone back, and you seem all alone?
Keep your eyes on the prize, for the home in the skies;
God is still on the throne.
God is still on the throne,
And He will remember His own;
Tho’ trials may press us and burdens distress us,
He never will leave us alone;
God is still on the throne,
He never forsaketh His own;
His promise is true, He will not forget you,
God is still on the throne.
with the sermon by rev willy on sunday and the hymn sung at pm on tuesday. just cause me to stop and think again, of the road i have tread and all the people who have come and go. yvonne, baoting, aldred... now is lk, xiuyi, hongjie.
am i His own?
Gone back, and you seem all alone?
Keep your eyes on the prize, for the home in the skies;
God is still on the throne.
God is still on the throne,
And He will remember His own;
Tho’ trials may press us and burdens distress us,
He never will leave us alone;
God is still on the throne,
He never forsaketh His own;
His promise is true, He will not forget you,
God is still on the throne.
with the sermon by rev willy on sunday and the hymn sung at pm on tuesday. just cause me to stop and think again, of the road i have tread and all the people who have come and go. yvonne, baoting, aldred... now is lk, xiuyi, hongjie.
am i His own?
Monday, September 19, 2005
2 upon 6
"I guess you might be having some difficulties. Do you want to organise a time to see me?" Dr Adrain LEE~ ...
ernest, pls dun quit.
ernest, pls dun quit.
huilian's birthday
it's huilian's birthday today. and i went to her birthday chalet. =) it has been 9 years since i have attended her last birthday cele. yesh, the previous was during the time when we were 11 years old. time flies when each and every one of us step into adulthood.
yifei asked me over the msn about life. he says he so blur and lost about life. as in where will it leads to. what's the purpose of living anyway.
"the sole purpose of man is to live for God and to glory him"
"huh? live to glorify others??" is his reply.
it's not the first time talking to him about GOD but there's nth i can do to cause him to believe, except to pray for him..
back to huilian. her mom asked bout my girlfriend and i say dun have. "why? be too picky.. blah blah" wow.. i am 21 and she's sayin this to me. and i asked huilian bout her bf.. she showed me who is he and said, "why you dun action earlier! i tink my mom dun like him." |||
start to talk about that pri sch outing when someone mentioned to me, asking me to consider her.. but i totally ignored that conversation that time. cos i dun think that can be true lah. well. it's quite unlikely. do i feel as if i miss something? i dun think so lah. cos she's not a christian. so she's not for me. i put a tract in her present. if she accept my invitation to church then say lor.
--
finishing the race well. to be honest, i am often discouraged by shomerim attendance. i feel so alone at times. but i guess to me, there's no turning back. i 'backslide' but i know i cannot deny the fact of God. wish that the rest will come back and not be one of the reprobate. and i hope i will not turn my back against Him. it's not easy.
--
wanting to render my service to whereever but i kinda think that i have this CMI behavior. argh~ i fail my choir audition!! wat duh!!! i just want to join an activity! JUST ONE! sigh.
yifei asked me over the msn about life. he says he so blur and lost about life. as in where will it leads to. what's the purpose of living anyway.
"the sole purpose of man is to live for God and to glory him"
"huh? live to glorify others??" is his reply.
it's not the first time talking to him about GOD but there's nth i can do to cause him to believe, except to pray for him..
back to huilian. her mom asked bout my girlfriend and i say dun have. "why? be too picky.. blah blah" wow.. i am 21 and she's sayin this to me. and i asked huilian bout her bf.. she showed me who is he and said, "why you dun action earlier! i tink my mom dun like him." |||
start to talk about that pri sch outing when someone mentioned to me, asking me to consider her.. but i totally ignored that conversation that time. cos i dun think that can be true lah. well. it's quite unlikely. do i feel as if i miss something? i dun think so lah. cos she's not a christian. so she's not for me. i put a tract in her present. if she accept my invitation to church then say lor.
--
finishing the race well. to be honest, i am often discouraged by shomerim attendance. i feel so alone at times. but i guess to me, there's no turning back. i 'backslide' but i know i cannot deny the fact of God. wish that the rest will come back and not be one of the reprobate. and i hope i will not turn my back against Him. it's not easy.
--
wanting to render my service to whereever but i kinda think that i have this CMI behavior. argh~ i fail my choir audition!! wat duh!!! i just want to join an activity! JUST ONE! sigh.
dinner with family
went to fei cui la mien at scotts on saturday, after the combined meeting with calvary tengah. erm.. it's a annual thing for me now on, trying to give them (my mom and bro) a treat since their birthday is in september. yeap..
nice time eating and enjoying the food. it feels good to order like no body's busines..
happy birthday mom and edmund.~
nice time eating and enjoying the food. it feels good to order like no body's busines..
happy birthday mom and edmund.~
argh!!
argh.. so worried now!! i am having this primary 4 syndrone.. cos i have this exact feeling in pri 4. about what's ahead is so disgusting..
i failed the choir audition!!! wah lau!! i can sing.. just that i cannot sing at times. sigh.. well. i should have tried harder. it's just that day something, erm.. i am i am worse that day. i am normally only bad. not that bad. sigh..
physics online assignmetn results out. i got 8.8 upon 10 for the 1st one. 11.8/13 for the 2nd. am i doing alright?? NOPE!!!! the mean is 9! and 12!.. what the heck.. ernest.. time to study.but will study help??
there goes my Chem online test also. there goes my 2.5 %
okie,i know i sound disgusting here but i really think i shouldn't be so heck care and graduate without trying hard.
i failed the choir audition!!! wah lau!! i can sing.. just that i cannot sing at times. sigh.. well. i should have tried harder. it's just that day something, erm.. i am i am worse that day. i am normally only bad. not that bad. sigh..
physics online assignmetn results out. i got 8.8 upon 10 for the 1st one. 11.8/13 for the 2nd. am i doing alright?? NOPE!!!! the mean is 9! and 12!.. what the heck.. ernest.. time to study.but will study help??
there goes my Chem online test also. there goes my 2.5 %
okie,i know i sound disgusting here but i really think i shouldn't be so heck care and graduate without trying hard.
Friday, September 16, 2005
good bye buaya week
i have my 750 essay to do but well, let's blog when i have the urge. and of cos i must thank my buaya who is now rushing her 1000 word essay for our sake. =) you are the best meiqiang~
if you dun know what's buaya week. it's just a fun week making everyone happy. i hope everyone has their fair share. and for me, i have definitely enjoyed all the things done for me=) i guess this kind of thing is pay it forward. yeap.. pay it foward.
sunday when i reach hall. actions has started. =) so nice.
in the middle of the night, wheni go out for toilet break, it's on my door knob. "have a break, have a kit kat." indeed.
major project. sweetest gift. =) cannot believe it. i should have done more for cindy (my buayee) sigh..
sweets coming from the sky.. coming down on a string outside my window.=)
day of revelation =)
and the gift from cindy=)
--
and she actually found my blog. wow. well, it's not really difficult to guess but it takes effort. hmm.. so, can i still blog bout hall from now on? haha.. of cos yes, only those who bothers will read and i wonder who will. haha=)
--
now the pessimistic side arise. hmm.. okie. nvm. i just wish to have someone to stand beside comfortably during the next rooftop meeting. yeah.
if you dun know what's buaya week. it's just a fun week making everyone happy. i hope everyone has their fair share. and for me, i have definitely enjoyed all the things done for me=) i guess this kind of thing is pay it forward. yeap.. pay it foward.
sunday when i reach hall. actions has started. =) so nice.
in the middle of the night, wheni go out for toilet break, it's on my door knob. "have a break, have a kit kat." indeed.
major project. sweetest gift. =) cannot believe it. i should have done more for cindy (my buayee) sigh..
sweets coming from the sky.. coming down on a string outside my window.=)
day of revelation =)
and the gift from cindy=)
--
and she actually found my blog. wow. well, it's not really difficult to guess but it takes effort. hmm.. so, can i still blog bout hall from now on? haha.. of cos yes, only those who bothers will read and i wonder who will. haha=)
--
now the pessimistic side arise. hmm.. okie. nvm. i just wish to have someone to stand beside comfortably during the next rooftop meeting. yeah.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
learn to express myself or hide myself
i appear to be unfriendly. maybe i am unfriendly, so start to learn how to hide my unfriendliness.
i dun mean to raise or exclaim
i dun mean to raise or exclaim
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
cap
cap, that's what everyone is trying to maintain. for me, it something to strvie for but i dun know what to set myself for. it's really challenging. not only in engin, but in nus. it's about the number of As you have. it's not how good are you. but are you better cos the rest are all good. sigh.
talking to zhenhong, since he's in year 2, gives me some aspect from a year 2 biz student, ex-vj vs person's point of view. he's not the mean and mode of the population but well, maybe it's an unbiased estimate for the general population.
jeff says something today. "that's about staying in hostel, it will affect your study". my instant thought is, so is your study everything? his view is from another view. guess being both a hostelite and yet studying is possible. maybe. yesh.. let's try. first of all, start to study. haah
talking to zhenhong, since he's in year 2, gives me some aspect from a year 2 biz student, ex-vj vs person's point of view. he's not the mean and mode of the population but well, maybe it's an unbiased estimate for the general population.
jeff says something today. "that's about staying in hostel, it will affect your study". my instant thought is, so is your study everything? his view is from another view. guess being both a hostelite and yet studying is possible. maybe. yesh.. let's try. first of all, start to study. haah
Monday, September 12, 2005
age does not matter. but it hurts
it has always been the case but you realise it more and more when you are grown up and you are working. it's not the seniority but the maturity. that goes for a christian faith and it goes for other things as well.
your junior very probably be better than you. and you realise that a 21 year old person can be doing his honours when you are a freshie. a year 2 is 1 year younger and more handsome and more zai than you. so. at this pt of time, i wish and hope that the following will comfort whosoever and help him.
Ecc2:26 For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before God. This also is vanity and vexation of spirit.
your junior very probably be better than you. and you realise that a 21 year old person can be doing his honours when you are a freshie. a year 2 is 1 year younger and more handsome and more zai than you. so. at this pt of time, i wish and hope that the following will comfort whosoever and help him.
Ecc2:26 For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before God. This also is vanity and vexation of spirit.
Friday, September 09, 2005
friday night.
start of buaya week. it's a super scaled Secret Pal game. but it's better cos it's one week. hmm.
let's do some update first. erm.. random thoughts:
1. xuanjie is smart. or at least he's weird enough to understand me.
2. zhenhong is fun, if can will hang out with him more.
3. i need to look friendly. a task to work on.
4. tutorials are running late. need to start
5. hols coming, time to study.
6. room is dusty, cleaning up tonight.
7. pple in my class are just smart, i need to study.
8. realise i am too judgemental, that's my unfriendly part.
9. i am too not pro active, should be bubbly and asking pple to work together with me.
10. liwei is not joining campus crusade already, he says that he cannot cope.
11. was talking to christopher, wee kuok, and their friends. it's a whole friendster connection world. but sad to say, i am not in the link. but still, had fun talking.
12. talking to chris makes me how long have i not talk to my sec 2 pple. where have and how have they been?
kathleen, angela, cheryl, yvonne, yanhan, yashi, yiling, yuanwang, huiteng, weixiong, weiming, calvin, andrew, huishi, eugene, jie'an, baoting, weiliang, gina, miaorong, elaine, jingwen, yu rui, janice, adeline
so long ago and i am not making effort to maintain the friendship, if there's one.
--start to write some pseudo thesis--
男人不坏女人不爱。不只一个朋友对我说：“我喜欢男孩坏坏的。” 刘德华德格的歌《笨小孩》也是这么写着的。我想是世人都有一点”无法自拔“吧。自太初，在伊甸的时候，亚当就很犯贱地选择吃禁果。我想大家都有伤害自己的倾向。往往身在其中，都无法察觉。所以好男人有人要吗？新好男人听起来不错，可是往往女生把他们当好朋友看待。
十个男人9个色。真的吗？也是吧。可是也会有友善的男人常常跟女生交谈纯粹是因为他们友善。为什么我总觉得女生总把过于友善的男生已有"色“眼光以待呢?
--okie.. forget it. i am just trying too hard. let's save up energy to write my critique which is due on friday!
let's do some update first. erm.. random thoughts:
1. xuanjie is smart. or at least he's weird enough to understand me.
2. zhenhong is fun, if can will hang out with him more.
3. i need to look friendly. a task to work on.
4. tutorials are running late. need to start
5. hols coming, time to study.
6. room is dusty, cleaning up tonight.
7. pple in my class are just smart, i need to study.
8. realise i am too judgemental, that's my unfriendly part.
9. i am too not pro active, should be bubbly and asking pple to work together with me.
10. liwei is not joining campus crusade already, he says that he cannot cope.
11. was talking to christopher, wee kuok, and their friends. it's a whole friendster connection world. but sad to say, i am not in the link. but still, had fun talking.
12. talking to chris makes me how long have i not talk to my sec 2 pple. where have and how have they been?
kathleen, angela, cheryl, yvonne, yanhan, yashi, yiling, yuanwang, huiteng, weixiong, weiming, calvin, andrew, huishi, eugene, jie'an, baoting, weiliang, gina, miaorong, elaine, jingwen, yu rui, janice, adeline
so long ago and i am not making effort to maintain the friendship, if there's one.
--start to write some pseudo thesis--
男人不坏女人不爱。不只一个朋友对我说：“我喜欢男孩坏坏的。” 刘德华德格的歌《笨小孩》也是这么写着的。我想是世人都有一点”无法自拔“吧。自太初，在伊甸的时候，亚当就很犯贱地选择吃禁果。我想大家都有伤害自己的倾向。往往身在其中，都无法察觉。所以好男人有人要吗？新好男人听起来不错，可是往往女生把他们当好朋友看待。
十个男人9个色。真的吗？也是吧。可是也会有友善的男人常常跟女生交谈纯粹是因为他们友善。为什么我总觉得女生总把过于友善的男生已有"色“眼光以待呢?
--okie.. forget it. i am just trying too hard. let's save up energy to write my critique which is due on friday!
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
updates
i wish to write something more in depth than rambling. in fact, i have leave this blogger page on for days before i really start writing. hmm.. guess at the times when i have the most to write, i am too tired. but let's record down what am i feeling now so that hopefully, days later, i will realise that situation has improved.
"very long time never see you" jingyang
"hey! long time no see!" karan,
"eh.. where have you been har?" xuanjie
within 15 min on monday dinner, 3 pple said that to me. guess i have been quite a phantom in hall recently. in fact, i tot i have quite a fanthom in church already. so, it's a situation where both ends not reached. wat am i tryin to do? gaining recognition in hall? what for? but the thing is, i am very willing to join in the fun and rowdiness in the middle of the night but well, all the fun are in level 6. ask me to go up? difficult, where am i supposed to lie on? or hang around?
this is really troubling me: i cannot do my tutorials!! i think i have been perceived as a mugger but the fact is, most of the time i am staring into the questions and unable to do them! i just can't go about the equations. while trying to solve my physics, i neglected my fin accounting (which i better practice until it's at the back of my hand.) sigh..
hall activities? there's no lack of activities to join, what i wish and pray for now are the people in the activities. often, it's not the thing that we do but the thing that we do with. (hmm... guess i must try to find pple to study wiht me, but who?"
in some ways, it may be God having a hand in the activities i am joining. jingwen ask me to be the secretary for tech crew. 1 down. CMB ask me to be their Pub IC. 2 down. Shyuan ask me to be in Sheares Production Sound. 3 down. more than enough,i think. will complete it with something like choir or accapella (if they want me ) haha..
so? if anyone is reading, please pray that i can do my tutorials. the inabilities is killing me. hols in 1 week time, which means mugging must start to pick up from now on and start mugging for that 1 week (i mean 4-day) holidays.
"very long time never see you" jingyang
"hey! long time no see!" karan,
"eh.. where have you been har?" xuanjie
within 15 min on monday dinner, 3 pple said that to me. guess i have been quite a phantom in hall recently. in fact, i tot i have quite a fanthom in church already. so, it's a situation where both ends not reached. wat am i tryin to do? gaining recognition in hall? what for? but the thing is, i am very willing to join in the fun and rowdiness in the middle of the night but well, all the fun are in level 6. ask me to go up? difficult, where am i supposed to lie on? or hang around?
this is really troubling me: i cannot do my tutorials!! i think i have been perceived as a mugger but the fact is, most of the time i am staring into the questions and unable to do them! i just can't go about the equations. while trying to solve my physics, i neglected my fin accounting (which i better practice until it's at the back of my hand.) sigh..
hall activities? there's no lack of activities to join, what i wish and pray for now are the people in the activities. often, it's not the thing that we do but the thing that we do with. (hmm... guess i must try to find pple to study wiht me, but who?"
in some ways, it may be God having a hand in the activities i am joining. jingwen ask me to be the secretary for tech crew. 1 down. CMB ask me to be their Pub IC. 2 down. Shyuan ask me to be in Sheares Production Sound. 3 down. more than enough,i think. will complete it with something like choir or accapella (if they want me ) haha..
so? if anyone is reading, please pray that i can do my tutorials. the inabilities is killing me. hols in 1 week time, which means mugging must start to pick up from now on and start mugging for that 1 week (i mean 4-day) holidays.
Friday, September 02, 2005
dy/dx (blogging) = 0
pple are not bloggin as much liao. seriously... i guess weixiong's reason is pretty valid for me too. many times when something significant happen to blog, another thing supercede the situation and when things are overtaken by event, why blog?
after reading his recent blog, make me realise that i may be in the same plight as him. joining hall activities or any activities is really bothering me. if you think i am trying not to join? you are wrong. i wish to join a lot of things yet with many stumbling blocks attached. i wish to sing but i know i can't. i wish to play but i know i cannot too. ya.. guess it boils down to abiblities. committees sound like something very ernest to join.. but is it true? can i be active in planning and getting around getting things done? and right now, tryin to design block t-shirt and fcm flyers. so i need photoshop, urgent!...
wat's the thing bout joining activities? nope, not to stay.. but to feel like i am involved. i dun wish to sit down and watch the world pass by. guess fcm is an avenue.. but then again, is it true? i feel bad for not being present in hall too. i am pleasing too many pple. i know that. but i am seeing God's guidance in the light of all these, thru pple's testimonies and things that come along the way. yes, He will guide me.
---
weilun said this when we were in lecture. he's sitting on my left and micheal was on my right.
he said: since Sandwich Theorem (yesh, there's really such thing), g(x)<= f(x) <= h(x), and lim g(x) | x->a = and lim h(x) | x->a = L.
So, weilun, who was sitting beside me, is capable, and micheal sitting on my right is capable too, by sandwich theorem, ernest sitting in the middle is capable as well. HAHA..
--
jeff, bernard and myself.
weilun, micheal, mingkeong and myself.
present lecture cliques. hall? ermm.. in the midst of finding.
--
at times when i checked my blur stats and realise that it's not zero, i felt that i am heard. thanks all who are hearing me.
after reading his recent blog, make me realise that i may be in the same plight as him. joining hall activities or any activities is really bothering me. if you think i am trying not to join? you are wrong. i wish to join a lot of things yet with many stumbling blocks attached. i wish to sing but i know i can't. i wish to play but i know i cannot too. ya.. guess it boils down to abiblities. committees sound like something very ernest to join.. but is it true? can i be active in planning and getting around getting things done? and right now, tryin to design block t-shirt and fcm flyers. so i need photoshop, urgent!...
wat's the thing bout joining activities? nope, not to stay.. but to feel like i am involved. i dun wish to sit down and watch the world pass by. guess fcm is an avenue.. but then again, is it true? i feel bad for not being present in hall too. i am pleasing too many pple. i know that. but i am seeing God's guidance in the light of all these, thru pple's testimonies and things that come along the way. yes, He will guide me.
---
weilun said this when we were in lecture. he's sitting on my left and micheal was on my right.
he said: since Sandwich Theorem (yesh, there's really such thing), g(x)<= f(x) <= h(x), and lim g(x) | x->a = and lim h(x) | x->a = L.
So, weilun, who was sitting beside me, is capable, and micheal sitting on my right is capable too, by sandwich theorem, ernest sitting in the middle is capable as well. HAHA..
--
jeff, bernard and myself.
weilun, micheal, mingkeong and myself.
present lecture cliques. hall? ermm.. in the midst of finding.
--
at times when i checked my blur stats and realise that it's not zero, i felt that i am heard. thanks all who are hearing me.
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