happie teachers' day

tmr is a long forgotten school holiday. =) but here, will like to wish all teachers happy teachers day. all the sunday school teachers~

 

also, to my teachers.. ms leow, mdm gan(my chn teacher), mrs margaret lee(my first form teacher), ms nor (my kindergarden teacher).

 

honestly, qi meng lao shi are very impt. they have shaped my life and attitude, much.

yvonne chan::dhssec2h

yap! met her on bus no 38 today. as usual, i am delighted. it's always nice to meet friends on the streets and to know that they are still willing to talk to me.

 

after getting off the bus. i start to think of the times when she was attending berean with me. but now? when i ask her if she still believes in God, she says yes. when being asked if she has any intentions to attend church, she said no. wanfen is even worse, she starts to question the need of God. at times, i am quite disheartened. i felt even sadder when they said that they were buffled, 'stumbled' by the berean/berith thing.. 

 

what i thought had work well for me isn't working the same way to them.. i know God has a plan but i dun know His plan..

thoughts

backdated entry...

 

there's always so many things opinions in my mind during the day. however, i find it hard to capture them all in my blog. too many, and too, erm.. difficult to write them in words. unless i can type as fast as i talk.

 

my feelings after recent saturday(210804), when i met up with pri sch friends as well as weiming etc.

http://shomerim.blogspot.com/2004/08/frens-gathering-today.html

 

ru's thoughts after her 2 friends gathering on saturday as well.

Sunday, August 22, 2004's entry from http://little-angel-finding-herself.blogspot.com

 

yuwei's blog regarding sat's gathering, which both of us weren't there.

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=SaNoSuKe_9&tab=weblogs&uid=124495981

 

diff people, diff sentiments...

 

and now let me begin my super long entry. an entry to settle my mind and to keep me sane. i am on the verge of erm.. going back into a hermit retreat.

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saturday morning starts off with my BASC ops test, which i did not study at all except for the flips while i was in the taxi to work. (yes, in the taxi again, which i felt very bad bout it also. will talk bout it later). when i reach the lecture room, i see them all in positions, all ready to take the test. obviously, many did not study like me. but there are some people who did flipped thru, flipping in a slower manner than mem, i gathered. argh.. got this feeling that i am back to jc. a place whereby marks does matter a bit, at least to the esteem. it's not only in jc, it's everywhere. competition in the slightest form takes place. the test is definitely not difficult. no problem passing at all..

155th BASC

on course... and i am late today. guess my 10% for attitude is going to be deducted.

all of a sudden, i feel like going back to school again. back to a tutorial class of 21, surrounding by somewhat competitive JC people/ or the environment. being force to attend some lessons to listen to come lecturers. the only reason to be attentive is to, as usual, draw hints regarding the test on saturday. also, to get some 'attitude' points. argh.. am i the only one or it is the environment. all of them are some high scorers in RJ, HCJC, AC and you name it..

keeping the balance between being a responsible clerk and yet not trying to seems xiaochang, hao lian is quite diff... been back to unit yesterday and today to clear my mail.. erm.. at least i keep it low. dun wish to let people think i siao on.

saw nicholas from 01S36. get to know alvin from AC, zixiang from NJ, selwin from VJS2, lewis from HC, erm.. hope to know more people.

i think i am used to be around non-jc people already. i find it hard to cope with the idea that there are competitors.. (what am i talkin? argh...)

anyway, been learning ops this week. training me to be Bn Chief Clerk.. duh.. they expect me to be the 'pl sgt' for HQ Coy to take charge of the ASAs there.. to check their field pack, teach them to dig shellscrape etc.. and make sure and keep to field discipline and norms etc.. haha.. they expect me to be in battle order, in the modular tent, ? ????/?? it's just part of the syllubus.

next week will be more farmiliar to me, or may be not. since there are so many muggers around. i am sure they dun need more than a day to catch up with what i already know..
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weiming is in tekong today. he asked for wahwah's coy... dun know if there's anythign exciting...
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francis trying to downgrade due to stress... huh? dun know lah.. all i know is that he's not going for BMT now.. or should i say, for now.
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hope things will be better...

updates

francis says that i haven't been blogging.. erm.. well.. i blog in shomerim.blogspot.com sometimes.. so, ya..

thigns to update? erm.. my driving sux.. and yes he sux too.

oh yes.. went to mindef, and finally managed to visit the G4 people and yue'en(ALD) and get to talk to Junyang, Alvin, Zhaosheng.. it's just nice to meet people you know and talk to them..

alvin and zhaosheng havne't change in terms of apprearance at least. but junyang like become very pale or fair.. dun know which.. nvm.. haha..

thank God i am not posted to mindef. it's very very very far from tampines~ i will need to take 1.5 hour or more lor~ ridiculous.

finally going for course on 16 Aug. coming monday.. erm..dun knwo what to expect and dun knwo what attitude should i have as well.. ?? dun know..
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today attend court martial for rizal. along with his were 4 other accused. 3 awol and 1 drug.

think s'pore is too hard on drugs. erm.. there's should be a degree of severity. not all people deserve 18mths in db for drugs. really.. argh..

and i think, maybe national service is aggrevating the vicious circle of poverty for some.. really.. already poor, then go ns, then go db (becos some will awol to work outsite), then, family get into more trouble. when release, no income, pay activates late etc.. and awol again. hence no chance to go further studies. etc..
life is really unfair.. (of cos tere's a reason for the unfairness..)

i cannot be a judge. i am too compassionate. the judge today(LTC) is very erm.. firm in his grounds. and i think there's a deep-seated mentality that some people are jsut born criminals.

maybe he's right? maybe not.. dun know lah

anyway, rizal got 7mths. which means, i have to process his release as well.. *yawn..

There are 3 types of people in this world. One makes things happen, one sees things happen and the other one wondered what happen.

 

i wish to be the one making things happen, but i enjoy seeing things happening, and i think it's innocent and bliss to be the one wondering what has happened.

 

contradiction, irony, paradox, oxymoron.

不要错过你的现在

有个女孩，个性比较男性化。
据她解释，自小她都在男生中长，所以爬树、官兵捉贼等等游戏她都参与，倒是家家酒、洋娃娃之类的，她就不曾玩过。
二十一岁生日前夕，妈妈问她希望收到什么礼物，这个女孩带着期盼的眼神说：“我要一个洋娃娃。”
生日当天，妈妈的确从家乡寄来一份礼物。她打开看，里头不是一个洋娃娃，是一瓶香水。
失望之余，女孩打开妈妈在礼物附上的一封信，妈妈写着：“如果你曾经错过了你的童年，那么不要再错过你的现在。”

driving..

i think it is my retribution. but retribution for being a sucky tutor, hence giving me a sucky instructor.

i always teach my tutee to relay on themselves.. often not giving them specific instruction to go about the question but telling them how will i be sloving it. expecting them to get the feel of solving questions and hence learn. and now!! i am at the receiving end of my practice. argh..

dun like him.. wish that i can change now. i want to know exactly how to drive. formulas!! i need formulas first. i need to know how to drive before i get the feel to drive.!! i neeed to know how to interpret the situation, the mirrors etc.. and not you trying to guide my steering wheel..

he says that i dun even have my fundamental (cannot hold the starter for too long, will spoil it) hellO!~ you are my only instructor. if my foundation is weak? who to blame? me?

but i have this major fault, in life. that is to allow past mistake to be carried forward. erm.. explain a little. when i am pointed out regarding my mistake. my brain will thinking of the mistkae and hence unable to cope with the new incoming situation. it's like interpreting. once you have interpret wrongly, leave it and move on. stiffen up to prepare for the next step.

table tennis - my coach has been telling me: "prepare for your next ball!!!!!" yes.. most of the time after a stroke, i will be watching the ball hit out and thinking bout the stroke i have made. results? i have no time to react for the incoming ball!! argh...

driving - "eh.. you have do this and thsis.. " then i will start to think in my mind/grumble in my mind... leaving not enough brain cell to drive properly!! resulting in further wrong moves.. ~

i flop.

However, you don't have too much patience with those who are less intelligent than you.

it seems very true.. but, i dun want myself to be like that. cos i know, many times i am the 'less intelligent' person.. if i wan to be treated with dignity and intergrity, i should do likewise to others.

i appear to be aloof, and erm.. ya1 ya1.

i will need help from others.. let me be helpful. please.

found timothy and titus blog. there must be some fun in writing. but somehow, it seems that the depressed writes more.. why?

ops room duty, again~

yes.. it's me in the ops room again! saturday was for Jul and today is for Aug. Wonderful planning~ haha..

wondering if the number of viewers of this blog does increase by ONE? =)

back to topic.. erm.. okay.. just bloggin to remember this ops duty. gtg since i sitll have quite a number of thigns to do.. sian..

and my email file get corrupted!! argh.. it's a big problem! so my outstanding issues still in the inbox.. (who doesn't) but.. just hope that the SA can salvage the situation tmr.

hope for the best~