rag 0506

wasn't involved.. but did participate..

lamentation

Most of you who knows me must have heard and gotten used to my lamentation. if you are not, and you dun want to listen to my self-pity again, please leave..

i haven't been production, instead, i have been indulging in my non productive activities like sleeping and stoning and what have you... Staying in hall ought to give me chances to learn more things and learn a trade or two. but i guess i haven't found my area of capability. been doing things which i have been doing and things i tot i can do. but in the end, i seemed to be uncapable of things that i thought i can.

the production is over. well.. it's a relief to many, but i feel that i din't get the best out of the whole process. i dun feel as good as yesterday. i felt that i haven't delivered my best, if i can have my best. when i looked around at the people who are very involved, i wish i am as tired as them.. but yet, i am not willing to put in the effort. in short, i discovered a big flaw in my personality - the desire to gain things without putting in effort.

i think that's a disgusting trait to have... but, what can you do now? i mean, i find this big inertia to change myself. been relying on people too much and too often. argh! maybe the ability to rely on others is a great thing i can do? nah...

recalling.. i think my most productive days are those days when i work on my dreamweaver, fireworks, photoshop, those days when i can coop myself in the room for days just to doodle with the computer screen..

i really dun know where do i stand now..

Artist: K-Ci & JoJo Lyrics
Song: Through Heaven's Eyes Lyrics
A single thread in a tapestry
though its color brightly shines
can never see its purpose
in the pattern of the grand design
and the stone that sits up on the very top
of the mountain's mighty face
does it think that it's more important
than the stones that forms the base
So how can you see what your life is worth
or where your value lies
ohhhh, you can never see through the eyes of man
you must look at your life
look at your life through heaven's eyes
lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes(2X)
A lake of gold in the desert sand
is less than a cool fresh spring
and to one lost sheep, a shepard boy
is greater than the richest king
should a man lose everything he owns
has he truly lost his worth
or is it the beginning
of a new and brighter birth
So how do you measure the worth of a man
in wealth or strength or size
in how much he gained or how much he gave
the answer will come to ya
to look at his life through heaven's eyes
lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes(2X)
and that's why we share all we have with you
though there's little to be found
when all you've got is nothing
there's lots to go around
No life can escape being blown about
by the winds of change and chance
and though you never know all the steps
you must learn to join the dance
you must learn to join the dance
lai-la-lai...through heaven's eyes(repeat until fade)

i wonder, if i can do what i am called to do if i found out what am i supposed to do? what if one day i realise that it is the best for me to be someone i have tried to avoid for long? what if?

sheares production 0506.. Funny Money

yeap.. the production is currently going on.. i was praying hard that i can deliver the sound cues on time. and thank God that i have actually done it.

but i feel guity, cos the immediate response i made after the final cue is.. "yeah.." guess we all forget God too readily... it's only when we are in need of His favour then we turn to him again. sigh..

now i am pleading Him again, for the next show.. to go off well, for tmr is the real show, with all the vips and sponsors.

http://www.sheares.nus.sg/sp/

johari window

http://kevan.org/johari?name=blurdreamer

kinda contemplating if i should put this link up... well.. i know there are people reading this blog.. hmm.. okok.. so, please do spend a min with this? thanks.. if you dun leave ur name, it's okay..~

black sheep spoils this world

my friend joelson is hospitalised due to his back.

before this, he was having problems with his drills already.. when sent to MO, the MO finds no fault using the X-ray and even threaten to charge him with malingering. but he was "gracious" to give him a chance.

before going to SGH, he has involuntary jerking with his body muscle. he went to CGH AnE and was discharged. the doctor ask him to stop shaking his body like that.

now, he is finally getting medical attention.

the thing i want to say is...
1. MO out there, please.. you are only human. dun be too sure of your diagnosis. the self-righteous me wish that MO who wanted to charge my friend to get investigated, tho that is quite impossible to happen. but God is gracious and hence, well... i wish that that MO will learn.

2. not all people with Green IC, report to govt hospitals or clinic to CHAOKENG!!!!

of cos, i know there are. but not all..

what can we do? this world is imperfect, ever since Adam eat that stupid fruit. if you find it true that this world is imperfect... the Good News is that the perfect world will come one day and we will have a part in it, if you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ~

bad maths test

i am really so demoralized by the easy yet made a lot of mistakes maths midterm(when i say a lot, it's a lot!! liek 6 out of 12)

really... dun know where is my expected end... but... nope.. trying to do something to perk myself up.. hope a verse in front of my desk will perk me up... next test on sat.. pple reading, please pray for me..

photo spree

a day in sentosa with my family... it's a rare feat to go out together nowadays.. but thank God for the CNY break that we can go to sentosa before sending me back to sheares.. =) thinkwe haven got a family photo for long.. have to find time to do it.. and find a camera too>~ =)

a nice chilling out session in the afternoon at harry's bar at esplanade. when there's no costomers other than me, jingwen and wei yee. =) thanks to wei yee we can get at 50% off the bill. wow.~ cos she's working there. =) we ordered the drinks, a main course each, with hot wings and erm.. the house special sandwiches.. i had my fill.. and the bill turns out to be 36 bucks ... quite affordable right? 12 each for a place like harry's bar. =) and i had my fill! haha..

3 pictures to show the profile of my room.. the billboard with the impt notices and calendar.. also pinned up nice graphics which i like or i have done. haha.. and a table of stationery.. yeap~. all yellow.. haha


i really like my phone.. it's a normal k700 and it has what almost every other phone has - a camera. gues i just like to take down snippets of things in my everyday life. and i really should archive them, for those are memories....

suddenly realise that i am very sentimental, however, only sentimental to feelings. what i should improve is to make more effort to keep and maintain the feelings i have for people. i really try harder. may be i am often not at home, tonight, i just have the urge to look around the room and peek into the drawers to look at the little 'treasures' i have. lo and behold, there's so many things which i kept since pri/sec/jc days.. most of them are little gifts from people. but, sadly, some of them i dun even remember who gave it to me... .. dun worry, it's just some.. while the rest, i remembered, and when i picked up the little cloth peg/ keychain.. i wasshould thinking... "what are they doing now? do they even remember giving this to me? " okok.. no matter what.. cont to live my resolution.. to be a happier person..

oh talking bout resolution.. i have run for this month.. okok.. i promised to run at least once a month. so i will run another timeto make up for january. haha. =) hope to increase my freq of exercise. =)

无题

每逢佳节倍思亲。过农历新年，周围的朋友都有老朋友聚会。而我呢？今年似乎没有什么聚会。是因为朋友都在忙吗？还是我没有努力的约他们出来？“大家都在忙”是一个似乎很合理的借口， 但是每次我说出这个借口的时候，都有一点的内疚，因为我也知道其中原因也包括了我没有好好的维系我的朋友。

我曾说：“朋友不需要天天见面，只要经常想起彼此，一碰面就可以滔滔不绝的长叹天下事，一切如故。” 可是，现在的我，还真的想找个人，可以常常相伴。。。

。。。

我不可以忘了我为自己许下的愿望：我要成为一个乐观开朗的人，要常常记得我那在主里无穷的喜悦，也好让我能把喜悦带给别人。“

===
FCM的时候Charmaine问我是否每天都那么的开朗开心。=P 我当然说不是。但他的问题让我发觉我在新朋友当中总是显得乐天派些。希望我能找到其中原因，然后把那开心的元素放大，实现我变得乐天派的愿望。

geyao concert

anyone interested please get tix from me.~ supposed to be the emcee. haha.. hope dun flop

=)