我也许注定不成气候。一生中午一长处。本来我自己以为每有长处就是我的优点，因为我虽不精，但我可以广，可以对许多事物都少有知识。可是我似乎已停止吸收新知识，成天讲的都是老生常谈，陈闻旧事。如今我停滞不前，心里一点喜悦也没有。为什么？？ 也许是因为我不曾在任何事，人，处逗留太久吧。总是在椅子没坐热就离开。我已打算明年离开guitar com。为什么？我想是因为我仍然在找自己。是不是因为我没给自己学吉他的机会？还是我天性懒散？我最不希望知道是我没什么天分，“六艺”全都不行。 sigh...
jeshua 今天因为去jaslyn的家的希望几乎破灭而闷闷不乐，但后来希望有出现的时候，仍然不高兴，我问他为什么，他说，"i dun know what i am thinking and feeling, just feel not happy."
boon how 在圣诞卡写着："dun worry about you being childish". 我读了,不知道该怎么想.一方面,证明我还能有童真,另一方面,我在向,我是否超龄了呢?明年我就会教little ark, 我是否能胜任? 我有能力于权力教rachel , esther 等等的大孩子吗?? 我是否应该从tabertots 开始呢?? 回想一下为什么我当初选择little ark... 记得了,是因为我认为他们分班后会需要更多的老师.. hmm.. 对. 我想因该不会出错..
Monday, December 26, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
christmas eve
at home waiting little ark teachers to come over for meeting. after which, the church will come for christmas eve service (1st stop of the day). i know God has been so gracious to me. if i have to list:
He gave me friends when i was alone.
gave me a place to worship Him when i was in NS.
gave me time to think and serve in church even when i am not capable.
gave me kind parents, willing to welcome my church friends, attend my brother's baptism and open up our house for christmas when they are not christians.
gave me the freedom to handle my studies.
gave me enough to spend
when i tot i was alone in hall, God gave christian friends as my neighbours to talk at times, when i tot i have no activities to join, gave Jingwen to open up doors for me.
what more can i say? if tmr comes and all things are taken away from me, may i learn to cont to trust in Him.
the time has come that i cannot produce good school results.. wat else can i do? i am still searching.
deep down in my heart, i know what God's approval and disapproval of the things that i can may will do.. it all goes down to me and my obedience.
----
it's christmas. do you know what does Christmas mean? let me tell you.
有一件礼物
你收到没有
眼睛看不到
你心会知道
这一件礼物
心门外等候
是为了你准备别人不能收
亲爱的朋友
你是否想到
马槽的婴孩
是为你而来
亲爱的朋友
你是否了解
最好的礼物是人子主耶稣
He gave me friends when i was alone.
gave me a place to worship Him when i was in NS.
gave me time to think and serve in church even when i am not capable.
gave me kind parents, willing to welcome my church friends, attend my brother's baptism and open up our house for christmas when they are not christians.
gave me the freedom to handle my studies.
gave me enough to spend
when i tot i was alone in hall, God gave christian friends as my neighbours to talk at times, when i tot i have no activities to join, gave Jingwen to open up doors for me.
what more can i say? if tmr comes and all things are taken away from me, may i learn to cont to trust in Him.
the time has come that i cannot produce good school results.. wat else can i do? i am still searching.
deep down in my heart, i know what God's approval and disapproval of the things that i can may will do.. it all goes down to me and my obedience.
----
it's christmas. do you know what does Christmas mean? let me tell you.
有一件礼物
你收到没有
眼睛看不到
你心会知道
这一件礼物
心门外等候
是为了你准备别人不能收
亲爱的朋友
你是否想到
马槽的婴孩
是为你而来
亲爱的朋友
你是否了解
最好的礼物是人子主耶稣
Thursday, December 22, 2005
funnie..
My dear Jaggit, I am in a well here and hope u are in a well there too. I am writing this letter slowly cause i know u cannot read fast. We dont live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper the most accidents happen twenty miles from home, so we moved twenty miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last person who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so that they wouldnt have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here so that our address will remain the same. This place is really nice, it even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet. Im not too sure it works well. Last week i put in three shirts, pulled the chain and havent seen them since. The weather here is not too bad. it only rained twice. The first time it rained for three days and the second time it rained for four days.The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said that it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons... so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has a new job,he has 500 men under him. He cuts grass at a cemetery. By the way, I took yr sister Bahhu to our clubs poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that her two piece swimming suit was not allowed in his club.We were confused as to which piece we should remove.Your sister had a baby this morning, i havent found out if it is a girl or a boy so, I dont know if your an aunt or an uncle. By the way, your uncle, jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them of bravely and drowned. We cremated him and burned him for three days.Now its the end of the year, your best friend Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fufil his father's last wishes.His father wished to be burried under the sea when he died and your friend died in the process of digging the grave. There is not much more news this time, NOTHING MUCH has happened. This year, your uncle, dad and best freind died. Nothing much though.
Love, mom
Ps: i was about to send you some money but by the time i realised,i had already sealed off this letter.
Love, mom
Ps: i was about to send you some money but by the time i realised,i had already sealed off this letter.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
scarily true
i dun like this quote, esp when i realise that i find it to be true to much extent. it's especially true in an imperfect world we have..
"violence can solve everything. if it can't, it means you are not violent enough"
often, people who get their way are loud, the rest drowned in their voices. people who are getting attention are big (in actions, movement and comments) but people enjoy such dramatic acts.
okie.. i am critical. how??
"violence can solve everything. if it can't, it means you are not violent enough"
often, people who get their way are loud, the rest drowned in their voices. people who are getting attention are big (in actions, movement and comments) but people enjoy such dramatic acts.
okie.. i am critical. how??
kemaman mission trip
back from mission trip. what touches me this time is Pr Joshua Koo.. being able to trust in the Lord and continue to work for Him when he doesn't even have a congregation to have a sunday service. the christmas gospel rally started off with only a few youths. while i was so worried that that will be the whole crowd, i prayed to God and asked Him to bring more pple to the rally. meanwhile, the wife moved the primary school children in the midst from the scantuary to the side room, fearing that there will not be enough seats for the adults. O what great faith she has. N.B. it has been raining heavily for the past 24 hours. in singapore, we will most probably expect no one to step out of house with this kind of weather. so, the point is taken, that we just have to work for the Lord, and not for men. only when we keep our eyes on the Lord that we can continue to do what we are called to do.
so, am i keeping my eyes on the Lord only? i think not. i am too distracted with too many eyes around me. when i was interpreting for uj, whenever i start to feel that people are looking at me, i will say a silent prayer and ask the Lord to help me to focus on Him only. it works! however, men are so depraved. even when we know that one way or method is better than the other, we wil still stray from the only right path that is good for us. i just can't keep myself from noticing others.
recently, i have been too critical, which is making me very unhappy. i am unhappy with a critical me, at the same time, unhappy with people around me, about the things they do and think. why am i putting myself in such misery?
A guy is always too emotion-free and oblivious bout others, which hurts me.
B guy is always too sure of himself which irritates me
C guy is always too full of himself which bothers me.
D guy is always too talking and not doing much and it puzzles me.
are you having such kind of thoughts? i am eliminating, trying to. may God helps me.
so, am i keeping my eyes on the Lord only? i think not. i am too distracted with too many eyes around me. when i was interpreting for uj, whenever i start to feel that people are looking at me, i will say a silent prayer and ask the Lord to help me to focus on Him only. it works! however, men are so depraved. even when we know that one way or method is better than the other, we wil still stray from the only right path that is good for us. i just can't keep myself from noticing others.
recently, i have been too critical, which is making me very unhappy. i am unhappy with a critical me, at the same time, unhappy with people around me, about the things they do and think. why am i putting myself in such misery?
A guy is always too emotion-free and oblivious bout others, which hurts me.
B guy is always too sure of himself which irritates me
C guy is always too full of himself which bothers me.
D guy is always too talking and not doing much and it puzzles me.
are you having such kind of thoughts? i am eliminating, trying to. may God helps me.
Friday, December 09, 2005
getting philosophical
once in a while, as usual, i will revisit this topic again, that is why am i blogging. the original intention of blogging like a columnist is not attained cos i am too personal with person and myself - i talked about myself more than any thing. haha.. but i guess i will still continue, to make sure i can recollect my thoughts next time.
just watched 前线追踪 . it's about taxi drivers loitering around the town waiting for "on call". for that 4 dollars, tourists are having a bad impressions of singapore for they can't get a cab for 30 to 50 min. and of cos singaporeans suffered as they are forced to call cab. however, somehow, i jus think that the big bad guys are not the taxi drivers (they are just trying to survive, "survive" is the key word. i really think that they are just earning just enough. ) so who is the big bad guy? of cos it's the taxi companies, they are charging too too much for the rental. anyone who knows economics will know that this the price /cost will eventually be transferred to the consumers when the demand elasticity is low.
hence, of cos the drivers cannot afford to take the cost upon themselves and hence they will naturally choose a place whereby the demand is inelastic (city). economics explained it all. who benefited? the taxi companies!!
i am so disgusted.
anyway, just came back from church camp. quite relaxing this time. =)
just watched 前线追踪 . it's about taxi drivers loitering around the town waiting for "on call". for that 4 dollars, tourists are having a bad impressions of singapore for they can't get a cab for 30 to 50 min. and of cos singaporeans suffered as they are forced to call cab. however, somehow, i jus think that the big bad guys are not the taxi drivers (they are just trying to survive, "survive" is the key word. i really think that they are just earning just enough. ) so who is the big bad guy? of cos it's the taxi companies, they are charging too too much for the rental. anyone who knows economics will know that this the price /cost will eventually be transferred to the consumers when the demand elasticity is low.
hence, of cos the drivers cannot afford to take the cost upon themselves and hence they will naturally choose a place whereby the demand is inelastic (city). economics explained it all. who benefited? the taxi companies!!
i am so disgusted.
anyway, just came back from church camp. quite relaxing this time. =)
Monday, November 28, 2005
After Sem Review
it's not an easy road. it's not an easy choice from the start.
i set off trying to tell myself that if God can bring me to it, He can bring me thru it. Indeed, by His grace, i have endured the semester.
it all started with hall or no hall, when i realised that i am the only one in sheares. at the same time, realised that royston, weixiong, yuwei are in KR. but i stayed, in sheares. i remember clearly that i have prayed regarding this matter and say that i will accept watever comes. since, it's by His choice that i got Sheares, so be it. i waited to see if there's a place for me in sheares.
due to my personality, i guess it's difficult for me to step forward and be outgoing. somehow, it has to do with the innate ability and erm.. confidence level. but nevertheless, God brought to me liwei, ivan along the way, to give me someone to turn to in times of need. not forgetting neighbours like wei wei who is there to spur me on. when i joined vcf as and when, i found zhihan to be having same doctrinal stands with me=) that's so cool.! it may not be what i have thought or wanted it to be, but still, i have pulled thru.
somehow, thanks to Jingwen, i got my committments easily - SP, tech crew and CMB. guess i am a bit reliant on him but well.. no choice ba. ~
modules gotten, quite smoothly except for managerial econs. cost me a lot of pts.. but it has brought me friends and opportunities to work with bernard, jeff, syeh li, binh, ravel, boon how, ngoc..
thru CTW, i know wee kwok and christopher...
thru my core subjects.. got to know lip chong, andy, ben, junta, here and there a bit of pple. supposed to be class rep, but i guess me quite slack .haha. !~ so paiseh
thru fna, got to know bernard better..
not forgetting weilun, micheal, mk in GEK 1535...
in short, thank God that i have friends somehow.
finished my last paper today. have i done well? nope, definitely. not becos i ahve taken 6 mod. it's jsut that, i cannot study. dun have the heart to study. why!!~ i dun know why, but i have to face the music somehow when the results are out. sigh. i can only pray, harder.
talking bout praying, i must admit that i have been weak in my walk with God. often times, i forsake Him and go my own ways, blindly, stubornly. i know i am wrong many times, but i just can't turn back, over and over again. keep telling myself that He has given me many wakeup calls but just refuse to heed. have to change if not my next sem is not getting any better.
holidays starting, so, i guess i have to enjoy before the results are out. =)
i set off trying to tell myself that if God can bring me to it, He can bring me thru it. Indeed, by His grace, i have endured the semester.
it all started with hall or no hall, when i realised that i am the only one in sheares. at the same time, realised that royston, weixiong, yuwei are in KR. but i stayed, in sheares. i remember clearly that i have prayed regarding this matter and say that i will accept watever comes. since, it's by His choice that i got Sheares, so be it. i waited to see if there's a place for me in sheares.
due to my personality, i guess it's difficult for me to step forward and be outgoing. somehow, it has to do with the innate ability and erm.. confidence level. but nevertheless, God brought to me liwei, ivan along the way, to give me someone to turn to in times of need. not forgetting neighbours like wei wei who is there to spur me on. when i joined vcf as and when, i found zhihan to be having same doctrinal stands with me=) that's so cool.! it may not be what i have thought or wanted it to be, but still, i have pulled thru.
somehow, thanks to Jingwen, i got my committments easily - SP, tech crew and CMB. guess i am a bit reliant on him but well.. no choice ba. ~
modules gotten, quite smoothly except for managerial econs. cost me a lot of pts.. but it has brought me friends and opportunities to work with bernard, jeff, syeh li, binh, ravel, boon how, ngoc..
thru CTW, i know wee kwok and christopher...
thru my core subjects.. got to know lip chong, andy, ben, junta, here and there a bit of pple. supposed to be class rep, but i guess me quite slack .haha. !~ so paiseh
thru fna, got to know bernard better..
not forgetting weilun, micheal, mk in GEK 1535...
in short, thank God that i have friends somehow.
finished my last paper today. have i done well? nope, definitely. not becos i ahve taken 6 mod. it's jsut that, i cannot study. dun have the heart to study. why!!~ i dun know why, but i have to face the music somehow when the results are out. sigh. i can only pray, harder.
talking bout praying, i must admit that i have been weak in my walk with God. often times, i forsake Him and go my own ways, blindly, stubornly. i know i am wrong many times, but i just can't turn back, over and over again. keep telling myself that He has given me many wakeup calls but just refuse to heed. have to change if not my next sem is not getting any better.
holidays starting, so, i guess i have to enjoy before the results are out. =)
Friday, November 25, 2005
xiangying's birthday
as usual, i cannot help it. but somehow, i am the furthest guy from the rest of the group..
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
活在过去
我有一个大缺点--活在过去。
常常在生活中不时地想起以前，想起过去，因而沉醉在别无他人的一个自闭空间。也许从前太美，也许是现在有点不堪。怎么有着总想发呢？我也很想知道。
很久以前，曾经在考试的时候写了这么一段：
小孩有着天真烂漫的梦；成年人有的是实际的梦；老年人有的是踏实保守的梦；唯有青年有着大胆，又不缺实际性，伟大而不失可能性的梦。我们总有一天会登上我们心灵的最高峰，对这世界的大人说：“我们的未来不是梦！”
常常在生活中不时地想起以前，想起过去，因而沉醉在别无他人的一个自闭空间。也许从前太美，也许是现在有点不堪。怎么有着总想发呢？我也很想知道。
很久以前，曾经在考试的时候写了这么一段：
小孩有着天真烂漫的梦；成年人有的是实际的梦；老年人有的是踏实保守的梦；唯有青年有着大胆，又不缺实际性，伟大而不失可能性的梦。我们总有一天会登上我们心灵的最高峰，对这世界的大人说：“我们的未来不是梦！”
Friday, November 18, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
http://notyourusualshit.blogspot.com/
a true-blooded blogger. totally differenet from what i am doing.. ~ ~
---
can't help it but to murmur and mumble some same boring complaints to myself.: why am i so insecure, unwilling to face up to reality and at the same time, unwilling to accept defeat ! well.. some things not meant for you means that God think they aren't suitable for you. yeah.. accept it.!
a true-blooded blogger. totally differenet from what i am doing.. ~ ~
---
can't help it but to murmur and mumble some same boring complaints to myself.: why am i so insecure, unwilling to face up to reality and at the same time, unwilling to accept defeat ! well.. some things not meant for you means that God think they aren't suitable for you. yeah.. accept it.!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
十年后
刚读完了一篇十年后我可能会写一篇博客。 （岔开话题一些，我觉得博客这翻译真有意思，几乎给了博客一个新的意思与赞美。）
回到话题，我说我又读了一关于人来人往的事故。不是说在街上人来人往，而是的生命的旅途中，总会有人来有人走。有人取代一些人。通常，如果少见面，是不是就会疏远? 可是我现在在大学还真的没有什么新的知心朋友.所以,我很在乎我现有的朋友.你们知道你们是谁吗?
曾经有另一个朋友很喜欢这首歌, 不知道他是否依旧. . .
就算相见无期在某个夜里
你会想起我我也会想起你
默契永存你我心底情缘系千里
窗外景物飞逝
机缘轻触匆匆来匆匆去
且行且珍惜
<<且行且珍惜>> 张信哲
回到话题，我说我又读了一关于人来人往的事故。不是说在街上人来人往，而是的生命的旅途中，总会有人来有人走。有人取代一些人。通常，如果少见面，是不是就会疏远? 可是我现在在大学还真的没有什么新的知心朋友.所以,我很在乎我现有的朋友.你们知道你们是谁吗?
曾经有另一个朋友很喜欢这首歌, 不知道他是否依旧. . .
就算相见无期在某个夜里
你会想起我我也会想起你
默契永存你我心底情缘系千里
窗外景物飞逝
机缘轻触匆匆来匆匆去
且行且珍惜
<<且行且珍惜>> 张信哲
Thursday, November 10, 2005
dun want to live on the moon
Well I like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes I like to visit the moon
But I dun think I like to live there
Though I like to look down at the earth from above
I will miss all the places and the people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I dun like to live on the moon
I like to travel under the sea
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes I travel under the sea
But I dun think I like to live there
I might stay for a day there if I have my wish
But that’s not much to do when all your friends are fish
And the oyster and clam or a whale family
So I dun want to live in the sea
I will like to visit the jungle to hear the lion roar
Go back in time and meet the dinosaurs
There’re so many strange places I like to be
But none of them I gonna live
So if I should visit the moon,
I will dance on the moon be a lamb
I will make a wish on a star
And I will wish I’m home once again
Though I like to look down at the earth from above
I will miss all the places and the people I love
So although I may go I’ll be coming home soon
Cos I dun want to live on the moon.
No I dun want to live on the moon.
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes I like to visit the moon
But I dun think I like to live there
Though I like to look down at the earth from above
I will miss all the places and the people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I dun like to live on the moon
I like to travel under the sea
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes I travel under the sea
But I dun think I like to live there
I might stay for a day there if I have my wish
But that’s not much to do when all your friends are fish
And the oyster and clam or a whale family
So I dun want to live in the sea
I will like to visit the jungle to hear the lion roar
Go back in time and meet the dinosaurs
There’re so many strange places I like to be
But none of them I gonna live
So if I should visit the moon,
I will dance on the moon be a lamb
I will make a wish on a star
And I will wish I’m home once again
Though I like to look down at the earth from above
I will miss all the places and the people I love
So although I may go I’ll be coming home soon
Cos I dun want to live on the moon.
No I dun want to live on the moon.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
retiring teachers
"the school bid farewell to three Dunman High teachers. Thank you Mr Kiw Sin Wa, Miss Wong Sew Heong and Miss Goh Sock Hwa." dhs website.
out of the two teachers mentioned, 2 of them were my sec 4 teachers. it's a shame to me but i dun remember ms wong until after reading her farewell summary. how ungrateful am i. but i guess, that's the pain a teacher have to bear - the toil of teaching with no repay at times.
will i want to be a teacher? i tot i will like to be one. but, in today's context, if i were to be a teacher, will i be the type of teacher of my own choice?
anyway, i must thank Mr Kiw, for giving me insights about things. Ms Wong for giving me my physics grade in O levels haha..
how long has it been since i graduate from dunman? 5 years.. yesh. 5 years.
out of the two teachers mentioned, 2 of them were my sec 4 teachers. it's a shame to me but i dun remember ms wong until after reading her farewell summary. how ungrateful am i. but i guess, that's the pain a teacher have to bear - the toil of teaching with no repay at times.
will i want to be a teacher? i tot i will like to be one. but, in today's context, if i were to be a teacher, will i be the type of teacher of my own choice?
anyway, i must thank Mr Kiw, for giving me insights about things. Ms Wong for giving me my physics grade in O levels haha..
how long has it been since i graduate from dunman? 5 years.. yesh. 5 years.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
抉择
人类是充满智慧的一群 虽然智慧的定义有待争论
小时候 人生的哲理有妈妈灌输 “长大有什么好呢？” 她说。 “长大后就有许多的烦恼。” 也就因为如此，我学着慢慢的长大。人与人之间的关系我学着一赤子之心以待。
中学时候，学校所灌输的哲理牵制着我。“先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐” 看《射雕》知道何谓 “侠之大者”。
可是当你的理念和周围的人格格不入，你是否还能持之以恒？
大学，从前是思想家聚集之处？ PhD = Doctor of Philosophy! 是个笑话吗？
小时候 人生的哲理有妈妈灌输 “长大有什么好呢？” 她说。 “长大后就有许多的烦恼。” 也就因为如此，我学着慢慢的长大。人与人之间的关系我学着一赤子之心以待。
中学时候，学校所灌输的哲理牵制着我。“先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐” 看《射雕》知道何谓 “侠之大者”。
可是当你的理念和周围的人格格不入，你是否还能持之以恒？
大学，从前是思想家聚集之处？ PhD = Doctor of Philosophy! 是个笑话吗？
Friday, October 28, 2005
3 types of pple
today went to furama hotel with tech crew to help cmb put up this erm.. dinner performance thing. basically, they eat we sing. haha. anyone listens? erm.. i bet there are, those who are bored with talking. =) no lah.. but i guess cmb pple can sing well.
anyway, a sad thing to comment on. a phenomenon that i dun like and in a state of denial.
there are basically 3 types of pple in this world.
1. those who look like they are good. like to talk and make pple work.
2. those who work busily, bustling in and out. if you ask them to stop working, they feel quite erm.. useless. so they are good workers, at the same time, helping a group of pple and motivate them together.
3. those who dun wish to motivate pple, just wish to work, just wish to work when it's necessary. some think they are working smart. some think that they are doing sufficient.
of all, this world is paying group 1 the most and the best and they have the best outlook. so, in schools they try to nature leaders. do they nature group 1 or group 2?
so how? i felt so out of the group. a group 2 who is a group 1 wannabe but in actually he's actually grp 3 in pple's eye.
jus crapping.
anyway, a sad thing to comment on. a phenomenon that i dun like and in a state of denial.
there are basically 3 types of pple in this world.
1. those who look like they are good. like to talk and make pple work.
2. those who work busily, bustling in and out. if you ask them to stop working, they feel quite erm.. useless. so they are good workers, at the same time, helping a group of pple and motivate them together.
3. those who dun wish to motivate pple, just wish to work, just wish to work when it's necessary. some think they are working smart. some think that they are doing sufficient.
of all, this world is paying group 1 the most and the best and they have the best outlook. so, in schools they try to nature leaders. do they nature group 1 or group 2?
so how? i felt so out of the group. a group 2 who is a group 1 wannabe but in actually he's actually grp 3 in pple's eye.
jus crapping.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
if i can hear feelings and thoughts
if i can hear thoughts, will i find similar feelings and thinking as mine?
when you are thinking, "will he/she feel bored with my conversation?", will he be saying "i hope he's not seeing thru me that i'm bad with conversations."
that's idealistic. but, often, i felt not.
if you realise that there's cliques forming, are you excluded or are you self excluding? it's bad to have using the following examples but i tot of yulin in PA last time. she's so enthu but we have often subtly excluded her existence. there's this time when we were walking out of VJ to parkway and she went to collect her bike to park at the busstop. when we reach the busstop, we hope on the bus forgetting her. we asked ourselves, whose fault is it? we cannot give an answer.
what happen when you are not part of the 4-seater car?
acutally things are going well, just that they are not going the way i tot it will be. oh, how can i see God's plan. He's giving me more time to work and more time to study. He's providing for me and yet i am escaping from His provision. it's always like that for men -- fan jian.
when you are thinking, "will he/she feel bored with my conversation?", will he be saying "i hope he's not seeing thru me that i'm bad with conversations."
that's idealistic. but, often, i felt not.
if you realise that there's cliques forming, are you excluded or are you self excluding? it's bad to have using the following examples but i tot of yulin in PA last time. she's so enthu but we have often subtly excluded her existence. there's this time when we were walking out of VJ to parkway and she went to collect her bike to park at the busstop. when we reach the busstop, we hope on the bus forgetting her. we asked ourselves, whose fault is it? we cannot give an answer.
what happen when you are not part of the 4-seater car?
acutally things are going well, just that they are not going the way i tot it will be. oh, how can i see God's plan. He's giving me more time to work and more time to study. He's providing for me and yet i am escaping from His provision. it's always like that for men -- fan jian.
Monday, October 10, 2005
eugene send off
yeap. from 6 to 5 and now to 4. =) 1 in ntu, 1 in biz, 1 in sci and 1 in engin. haha. wat a mix. ~
see you next year eugene
my table
my working desk in hall. i know i haven't been posting blogs. haha. i kinda really miss those days. well, this is the time to test my faith, to put God first in the midst of study. but also cannot neglect studies cos need to honour God thru studies. argh. been busy with hall stuffs, some of the stuffs i am the ic so cannot no show. things will get better i think. need to study real hard. need to get into that studying mode. it's very tough for me. please pray for me..
you guys have any updates??
honghao going to india right?? tell us about it and update us okie.! you are leaving in less than a month's time right?/ take care
Friday, October 07, 2005
a quote from someone
"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Thursday, October 06, 2005
not talking sense
a common phenomenon of not talking sense will result in pple not talkin to you and hence less opportunity to learn to talk entertainingly~
result? suffer consequence or change. how to change? if dun know then just accept. ? argh
weeks later, not companion, tampines will i be next.
result? suffer consequence or change. how to change? if dun know then just accept. ? argh
weeks later, not companion, tampines will i be next.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
yuwei's bdae
if you think i am wasting time blogging. i think it's worth it all when i look back years later.
--
yuwei's bdae. on children's day. a chance to meet up with weilun yuwei huawei jiwei huiying. in fact, weilun is in my course! huawei in my faculty; yuwei beside my hall. but this is different. becuase this is friends gathering. and not meeting classmates in school. this is my 1st bdae this month, and 2 more to go.
yesh, i think i am seriously enjoying myself. short lessons, little homework and erm.. nice place to sleep everynight. if i switched off about things in school, life is a bed of roses.
and tonight, i am at home. things are kind of different at home compared to last time. somehow, i think my mom is concerned about me. well, i mean, it's obvious. my dad bought chicken essense for me to bring to hostel; my mom bought ba kwa and even seaweed. the fridge is stock with my favourite cheese singles. i just cant help but smile to myself.
so, i should work hard. if not for me, at least for my parents.
it's not almost like the olden days when parents slog and save up every single cents for children's university but it is not far off. the same love is there - wanting to give the best for their children.
if our earthly parents so love their children, what good thing will my heavenly Father withhold from me. yesh.. !!! must remember.!!
--
--
yuwei's bdae. on children's day. a chance to meet up with weilun yuwei huawei jiwei huiying. in fact, weilun is in my course! huawei in my faculty; yuwei beside my hall. but this is different. becuase this is friends gathering. and not meeting classmates in school. this is my 1st bdae this month, and 2 more to go.
yesh, i think i am seriously enjoying myself. short lessons, little homework and erm.. nice place to sleep everynight. if i switched off about things in school, life is a bed of roses.
and tonight, i am at home. things are kind of different at home compared to last time. somehow, i think my mom is concerned about me. well, i mean, it's obvious. my dad bought chicken essense for me to bring to hostel; my mom bought ba kwa and even seaweed. the fridge is stock with my favourite cheese singles. i just cant help but smile to myself.
so, i should work hard. if not for me, at least for my parents.
it's not almost like the olden days when parents slog and save up every single cents for children's university but it is not far off. the same love is there - wanting to give the best for their children.
if our earthly parents so love their children, what good thing will my heavenly Father withhold from me. yesh.. !!! must remember.!!
--
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
i need a clique
i feel sad because
i stand with a different group of pple each time we have rooftop meetings.
i hangout with chris etc after i have ctw/phy lab; weilun when i have GEK lect, jeff and bern when i have biz mod. i dun find pple and meet them after lessons. there's no one i can safely call for nothing much. somehow, i think i know pple, but i dun befriend them enough. maybe i'm just asking too much.
anyway, today after the maths test, i kinda miss yuwei, huawei, weilun. or maybe not. i nv found a comfortable company to discuss tests. erm.. well, but i remember feeling much better walking out of common tests with them.
anyway, i will move on, and i know God will have His purpose for the things. i just need to get right with God again.
i stand with a different group of pple each time we have rooftop meetings.
i hangout with chris etc after i have ctw/phy lab; weilun when i have GEK lect, jeff and bern when i have biz mod. i dun find pple and meet them after lessons. there's no one i can safely call for nothing much. somehow, i think i know pple, but i dun befriend them enough. maybe i'm just asking too much.
anyway, today after the maths test, i kinda miss yuwei, huawei, weilun. or maybe not. i nv found a comfortable company to discuss tests. erm.. well, but i remember feeling much better walking out of common tests with them.
anyway, i will move on, and i know God will have His purpose for the things. i just need to get right with God again.
finishing a (chirstian) run
i have a (christian) run today round nus campus. for those who knows nus, it's the A2 route. from sheares hall (home) down the slope easily with adequate energy but doubting if i can complete the run. then i pass by biz block. i can run a longer distance (achieve more for the Lord) by taking a loop from it. giving myself the posibility, i ran in. pass by yusoff hall and i have come to the uphill slope outside central library. expecting this (expecting trials), i put some effort into it and ran it. there are pple around (the world for me to witness to) and hence i try not to look too pathetic. by then, i had kinda slowed down and ivan (shomerim) who was running with me told me that, jog if you must, but dun walk.. (rest if you must but dun you quit).
ups and downs literally (figuratively), we came to NUH and soon outside NUS (unfarmiliar grounds) and ivan said turn left which led us to sciece park 1. we nearly lost our way, but we din't give up. looking at signs (listening to His voice), we found out way and we are on our way back to sheares (Home). i really tot i couldn;t make it anymore, but i know i must. there's 3 ways: run back, walk and reach much later, fell and go to hospital and then eventually back to hall again. i have to finish the run, and i know the energy and ability is there.
when things go wrong, i know why. i really know why, cos i am aware of my walk with God. but the defiant me refuse to obey. with much falls and failures, i will go back to Him, with my wounds and strips. today is a good day to repent and go back to the Lord. this is the day.
ups and downs literally (figuratively), we came to NUH and soon outside NUS (unfarmiliar grounds) and ivan said turn left which led us to sciece park 1. we nearly lost our way, but we din't give up. looking at signs (listening to His voice), we found out way and we are on our way back to sheares (Home). i really tot i couldn;t make it anymore, but i know i must. there's 3 ways: run back, walk and reach much later, fell and go to hospital and then eventually back to hall again. i have to finish the run, and i know the energy and ability is there.
when things go wrong, i know why. i really know why, cos i am aware of my walk with God. but the defiant me refuse to obey. with much falls and failures, i will go back to Him, with my wounds and strips. today is a good day to repent and go back to the Lord. this is the day.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
5 hours of msn chat
longest chat ever. with darrell. cannot believe it. what's the fuel for the chat? God.
No Nick Name says:
Why must god keep insisting that we believe that he exists without showing himself?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
make it far.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
gues syou will be great
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
wow.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
ya
No Nick Name says:
Why did you bring this up?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
so, erm, i guess i am just too ignorant to prove to you.
No Nick Name says:
I'm trying to understand your religion better.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
yesh.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i understand that.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you cannot accept others as they are.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you condemn non-believers.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i dun condemn them.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
if you talkin bout my friend
No Nick Name says:
And it also irks me to find out that although you do this, you believe that your God gives freedom of choice.
No Nick Name says:
No.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
it's just a guideline
No Nick Name says:
Your bible says so.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
for me to choose my life partner
No Nick Name says:
You call non-believers unrighteous.
No Nick Name says:
You call them the darkness.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
agreed
No Nick Name says:
How do you still stay faithful in this religion?
No Nick Name says:
How can you have so many conflicts?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
faith is the word
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
of cos, i cannot open my heart to show you my faith
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
but that's the reason.
No Nick Name says:
With so many conflicts in God's word, you can still have faith?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
because, to me, there's no conflict
No Nick Name says:
Not that I want to sound like a devil's advocate...
just some part of it. *sweat*.. but truely, i must say that Bible proclaims it all:
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
No Nick Name says:
Why must god keep insisting that we believe that he exists without showing himself?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
make it far.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
gues syou will be great
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
wow.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
ya
No Nick Name says:
Why did you bring this up?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
so, erm, i guess i am just too ignorant to prove to you.
No Nick Name says:
I'm trying to understand your religion better.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
yesh.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i understand that.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you cannot accept others as they are.
No Nick Name says:
It irks me to find out that you condemn non-believers.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
i dun condemn them.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
if you talkin bout my friend
No Nick Name says:
And it also irks me to find out that although you do this, you believe that your God gives freedom of choice.
No Nick Name says:
No.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
it's just a guideline
No Nick Name says:
Your bible says so.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
for me to choose my life partner
No Nick Name says:
You call non-believers unrighteous.
No Nick Name says:
You call them the darkness.
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
okie
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
agreed
No Nick Name says:
How do you still stay faithful in this religion?
No Nick Name says:
How can you have so many conflicts?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
faith is the word
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
of cos, i cannot open my heart to show you my faith
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
but that's the reason.
No Nick Name says:
With so many conflicts in God's word, you can still have faith?
~dee~ "ernest! ~ rest if you must, but dun u quit~ says:
because, to me, there's no conflict
No Nick Name says:
Not that I want to sound like a devil's advocate...
just some part of it. *sweat*.. but truely, i must say that Bible proclaims it all:
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
to all NSF and NSman
will you fight for your country? will you? if it's fear that stops you, will love for your family cause you to fight.
if you think there's no pt defending small Singapore, do you think our small Singapore is exisiting?
2 years of NS. that's just your contribution to society. it may be a waste in watever you are thinking but , that's about it. in turn, we get 2 years of rest, stop and think and move on. not saying that we must be selfless, but let's be less selfish.
if you think there's no pt defending small Singapore, do you think our small Singapore is exisiting?
2 years of NS. that's just your contribution to society. it may be a waste in watever you are thinking but , that's about it. in turn, we get 2 years of rest, stop and think and move on. not saying that we must be selfless, but let's be less selfish.
Friday, September 23, 2005
phy test later.
yes, my phy test is coming soon. ~ i am worried, so i will go and pray harder later.
but this is not bout my physics test. was doing blog roaming and this time i took a look at klement's blog. seems that he's writing last words before leaving for uK. if i am not wrong, imperial also.
just feel like writing bout eugene. gonna missed him for a year cos he's going to uk also. 2nd friend in the group to go overseas. he's been such a long friend, since sec one. will always remember the days when we go to his house on fridays. the nights when he called me just to hold on to the phone until wee hours before he start talking. about the nights we talked about what secondary school friends will talk about. the times when we studies for O levels together. at his house. the swim as incentive after some studying. the many days spent at his house. the times when we will talk to no. 12 busstop to go home. the days when we were in diff jc and yet still in contact.
dun think he will have problems coping with studying overseas. think that's so like him. but i am sure, i hope, that during one of the days overseas, he will have a thought of all the things and companionship we have, together as friends, in singapore.
it's not long before he flies. it's just next friday midnight.
but this is not bout my physics test. was doing blog roaming and this time i took a look at klement's blog. seems that he's writing last words before leaving for uK. if i am not wrong, imperial also.
just feel like writing bout eugene. gonna missed him for a year cos he's going to uk also. 2nd friend in the group to go overseas. he's been such a long friend, since sec one. will always remember the days when we go to his house on fridays. the nights when he called me just to hold on to the phone until wee hours before he start talking. about the nights we talked about what secondary school friends will talk about. the times when we studies for O levels together. at his house. the swim as incentive after some studying. the many days spent at his house. the times when we will talk to no. 12 busstop to go home. the days when we were in diff jc and yet still in contact.
dun think he will have problems coping with studying overseas. think that's so like him. but i am sure, i hope, that during one of the days overseas, he will have a thought of all the things and companionship we have, together as friends, in singapore.
it's not long before he flies. it's just next friday midnight.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
God is still on the throne
Have the ones that once walked on the highway
Gone back, and you seem all alone?
Keep your eyes on the prize, for the home in the skies;
God is still on the throne.
God is still on the throne,
And He will remember His own;
Tho’ trials may press us and burdens distress us,
He never will leave us alone;
God is still on the throne,
He never forsaketh His own;
His promise is true, He will not forget you,
God is still on the throne.
with the sermon by rev willy on sunday and the hymn sung at pm on tuesday. just cause me to stop and think again, of the road i have tread and all the people who have come and go. yvonne, baoting, aldred... now is lk, xiuyi, hongjie.
am i His own?
Gone back, and you seem all alone?
Keep your eyes on the prize, for the home in the skies;
God is still on the throne.
God is still on the throne,
And He will remember His own;
Tho’ trials may press us and burdens distress us,
He never will leave us alone;
God is still on the throne,
He never forsaketh His own;
His promise is true, He will not forget you,
God is still on the throne.
with the sermon by rev willy on sunday and the hymn sung at pm on tuesday. just cause me to stop and think again, of the road i have tread and all the people who have come and go. yvonne, baoting, aldred... now is lk, xiuyi, hongjie.
am i His own?
Monday, September 19, 2005
2 upon 6
"I guess you might be having some difficulties. Do you want to organise a time to see me?" Dr Adrain LEE~ ...
ernest, pls dun quit.
ernest, pls dun quit.
huilian's birthday
it's huilian's birthday today. and i went to her birthday chalet. =) it has been 9 years since i have attended her last birthday cele. yesh, the previous was during the time when we were 11 years old. time flies when each and every one of us step into adulthood.
yifei asked me over the msn about life. he says he so blur and lost about life. as in where will it leads to. what's the purpose of living anyway.
"the sole purpose of man is to live for God and to glory him"
"huh? live to glorify others??" is his reply.
it's not the first time talking to him about GOD but there's nth i can do to cause him to believe, except to pray for him..
back to huilian. her mom asked bout my girlfriend and i say dun have. "why? be too picky.. blah blah" wow.. i am 21 and she's sayin this to me. and i asked huilian bout her bf.. she showed me who is he and said, "why you dun action earlier! i tink my mom dun like him." |||
start to talk about that pri sch outing when someone mentioned to me, asking me to consider her.. but i totally ignored that conversation that time. cos i dun think that can be true lah. well. it's quite unlikely. do i feel as if i miss something? i dun think so lah. cos she's not a christian. so she's not for me. i put a tract in her present. if she accept my invitation to church then say lor.
--
finishing the race well. to be honest, i am often discouraged by shomerim attendance. i feel so alone at times. but i guess to me, there's no turning back. i 'backslide' but i know i cannot deny the fact of God. wish that the rest will come back and not be one of the reprobate. and i hope i will not turn my back against Him. it's not easy.
--
wanting to render my service to whereever but i kinda think that i have this CMI behavior. argh~ i fail my choir audition!! wat duh!!! i just want to join an activity! JUST ONE! sigh.
yifei asked me over the msn about life. he says he so blur and lost about life. as in where will it leads to. what's the purpose of living anyway.
"the sole purpose of man is to live for God and to glory him"
"huh? live to glorify others??" is his reply.
it's not the first time talking to him about GOD but there's nth i can do to cause him to believe, except to pray for him..
back to huilian. her mom asked bout my girlfriend and i say dun have. "why? be too picky.. blah blah" wow.. i am 21 and she's sayin this to me. and i asked huilian bout her bf.. she showed me who is he and said, "why you dun action earlier! i tink my mom dun like him." |||
start to talk about that pri sch outing when someone mentioned to me, asking me to consider her.. but i totally ignored that conversation that time. cos i dun think that can be true lah. well. it's quite unlikely. do i feel as if i miss something? i dun think so lah. cos she's not a christian. so she's not for me. i put a tract in her present. if she accept my invitation to church then say lor.
--
finishing the race well. to be honest, i am often discouraged by shomerim attendance. i feel so alone at times. but i guess to me, there's no turning back. i 'backslide' but i know i cannot deny the fact of God. wish that the rest will come back and not be one of the reprobate. and i hope i will not turn my back against Him. it's not easy.
--
wanting to render my service to whereever but i kinda think that i have this CMI behavior. argh~ i fail my choir audition!! wat duh!!! i just want to join an activity! JUST ONE! sigh.
dinner with family
went to fei cui la mien at scotts on saturday, after the combined meeting with calvary tengah. erm.. it's a annual thing for me now on, trying to give them (my mom and bro) a treat since their birthday is in september. yeap..
nice time eating and enjoying the food. it feels good to order like no body's busines..
happy birthday mom and edmund.~
nice time eating and enjoying the food. it feels good to order like no body's busines..
happy birthday mom and edmund.~
argh!!
argh.. so worried now!! i am having this primary 4 syndrone.. cos i have this exact feeling in pri 4. about what's ahead is so disgusting..
i failed the choir audition!!! wah lau!! i can sing.. just that i cannot sing at times. sigh.. well. i should have tried harder. it's just that day something, erm.. i am i am worse that day. i am normally only bad. not that bad. sigh..
physics online assignmetn results out. i got 8.8 upon 10 for the 1st one. 11.8/13 for the 2nd. am i doing alright?? NOPE!!!! the mean is 9! and 12!.. what the heck.. ernest.. time to study.but will study help??
there goes my Chem online test also. there goes my 2.5 %
okie,i know i sound disgusting here but i really think i shouldn't be so heck care and graduate without trying hard.
i failed the choir audition!!! wah lau!! i can sing.. just that i cannot sing at times. sigh.. well. i should have tried harder. it's just that day something, erm.. i am i am worse that day. i am normally only bad. not that bad. sigh..
physics online assignmetn results out. i got 8.8 upon 10 for the 1st one. 11.8/13 for the 2nd. am i doing alright?? NOPE!!!! the mean is 9! and 12!.. what the heck.. ernest.. time to study.but will study help??
there goes my Chem online test also. there goes my 2.5 %
okie,i know i sound disgusting here but i really think i shouldn't be so heck care and graduate without trying hard.
Friday, September 16, 2005
good bye buaya week
i have my 750 essay to do but well, let's blog when i have the urge. and of cos i must thank my buaya who is now rushing her 1000 word essay for our sake. =) you are the best meiqiang~
if you dun know what's buaya week. it's just a fun week making everyone happy. i hope everyone has their fair share. and for me, i have definitely enjoyed all the things done for me=) i guess this kind of thing is pay it forward. yeap.. pay it foward.
sunday when i reach hall. actions has started. =) so nice.
in the middle of the night, wheni go out for toilet break, it's on my door knob. "have a break, have a kit kat." indeed.
major project. sweetest gift. =) cannot believe it. i should have done more for cindy (my buayee) sigh..
sweets coming from the sky.. coming down on a string outside my window.=)
day of revelation =)
and the gift from cindy=)
--
and she actually found my blog. wow. well, it's not really difficult to guess but it takes effort. hmm.. so, can i still blog bout hall from now on? haha.. of cos yes, only those who bothers will read and i wonder who will. haha=)
--
now the pessimistic side arise. hmm.. okie. nvm. i just wish to have someone to stand beside comfortably during the next rooftop meeting. yeah.
if you dun know what's buaya week. it's just a fun week making everyone happy. i hope everyone has their fair share. and for me, i have definitely enjoyed all the things done for me=) i guess this kind of thing is pay it forward. yeap.. pay it foward.
sunday when i reach hall. actions has started. =) so nice.
in the middle of the night, wheni go out for toilet break, it's on my door knob. "have a break, have a kit kat." indeed.
major project. sweetest gift. =) cannot believe it. i should have done more for cindy (my buayee) sigh..
sweets coming from the sky.. coming down on a string outside my window.=)
day of revelation =)
and the gift from cindy=)
--
and she actually found my blog. wow. well, it's not really difficult to guess but it takes effort. hmm.. so, can i still blog bout hall from now on? haha.. of cos yes, only those who bothers will read and i wonder who will. haha=)
--
now the pessimistic side arise. hmm.. okie. nvm. i just wish to have someone to stand beside comfortably during the next rooftop meeting. yeah.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
learn to express myself or hide myself
i appear to be unfriendly. maybe i am unfriendly, so start to learn how to hide my unfriendliness.
i dun mean to raise or exclaim
i dun mean to raise or exclaim
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
cap
cap, that's what everyone is trying to maintain. for me, it something to strvie for but i dun know what to set myself for. it's really challenging. not only in engin, but in nus. it's about the number of As you have. it's not how good are you. but are you better cos the rest are all good. sigh.
talking to zhenhong, since he's in year 2, gives me some aspect from a year 2 biz student, ex-vj vs person's point of view. he's not the mean and mode of the population but well, maybe it's an unbiased estimate for the general population.
jeff says something today. "that's about staying in hostel, it will affect your study". my instant thought is, so is your study everything? his view is from another view. guess being both a hostelite and yet studying is possible. maybe. yesh.. let's try. first of all, start to study. haah
talking to zhenhong, since he's in year 2, gives me some aspect from a year 2 biz student, ex-vj vs person's point of view. he's not the mean and mode of the population but well, maybe it's an unbiased estimate for the general population.
jeff says something today. "that's about staying in hostel, it will affect your study". my instant thought is, so is your study everything? his view is from another view. guess being both a hostelite and yet studying is possible. maybe. yesh.. let's try. first of all, start to study. haah
Monday, September 12, 2005
age does not matter. but it hurts
it has always been the case but you realise it more and more when you are grown up and you are working. it's not the seniority but the maturity. that goes for a christian faith and it goes for other things as well.
your junior very probably be better than you. and you realise that a 21 year old person can be doing his honours when you are a freshie. a year 2 is 1 year younger and more handsome and more zai than you. so. at this pt of time, i wish and hope that the following will comfort whosoever and help him.
Ecc2:26 For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before God. This also is vanity and vexation of spirit.
your junior very probably be better than you. and you realise that a 21 year old person can be doing his honours when you are a freshie. a year 2 is 1 year younger and more handsome and more zai than you. so. at this pt of time, i wish and hope that the following will comfort whosoever and help him.
Ecc2:26 For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before God. This also is vanity and vexation of spirit.
Friday, September 09, 2005
friday night.
start of buaya week. it's a super scaled Secret Pal game. but it's better cos it's one week. hmm.
let's do some update first. erm.. random thoughts:
1. xuanjie is smart. or at least he's weird enough to understand me.
2. zhenhong is fun, if can will hang out with him more.
3. i need to look friendly. a task to work on.
4. tutorials are running late. need to start
5. hols coming, time to study.
6. room is dusty, cleaning up tonight.
7. pple in my class are just smart, i need to study.
8. realise i am too judgemental, that's my unfriendly part.
9. i am too not pro active, should be bubbly and asking pple to work together with me.
10. liwei is not joining campus crusade already, he says that he cannot cope.
11. was talking to christopher, wee kuok, and their friends. it's a whole friendster connection world. but sad to say, i am not in the link. but still, had fun talking.
12. talking to chris makes me how long have i not talk to my sec 2 pple. where have and how have they been?
kathleen, angela, cheryl, yvonne, yanhan, yashi, yiling, yuanwang, huiteng, weixiong, weiming, calvin, andrew, huishi, eugene, jie'an, baoting, weiliang, gina, miaorong, elaine, jingwen, yu rui, janice, adeline
so long ago and i am not making effort to maintain the friendship, if there's one.
--start to write some pseudo thesis--
男人不坏女人不爱。不只一个朋友对我说：“我喜欢男孩坏坏的。” 刘德华德格的歌《笨小孩》也是这么写着的。我想是世人都有一点”无法自拔“吧。自太初，在伊甸的时候，亚当就很犯贱地选择吃禁果。我想大家都有伤害自己的倾向。往往身在其中，都无法察觉。所以好男人有人要吗？新好男人听起来不错，可是往往女生把他们当好朋友看待。
十个男人9个色。真的吗？也是吧。可是也会有友善的男人常常跟女生交谈纯粹是因为他们友善。为什么我总觉得女生总把过于友善的男生已有"色“眼光以待呢?
--okie.. forget it. i am just trying too hard. let's save up energy to write my critique which is due on friday!
let's do some update first. erm.. random thoughts:
1. xuanjie is smart. or at least he's weird enough to understand me.
2. zhenhong is fun, if can will hang out with him more.
3. i need to look friendly. a task to work on.
4. tutorials are running late. need to start
5. hols coming, time to study.
6. room is dusty, cleaning up tonight.
7. pple in my class are just smart, i need to study.
8. realise i am too judgemental, that's my unfriendly part.
9. i am too not pro active, should be bubbly and asking pple to work together with me.
10. liwei is not joining campus crusade already, he says that he cannot cope.
11. was talking to christopher, wee kuok, and their friends. it's a whole friendster connection world. but sad to say, i am not in the link. but still, had fun talking.
12. talking to chris makes me how long have i not talk to my sec 2 pple. where have and how have they been?
kathleen, angela, cheryl, yvonne, yanhan, yashi, yiling, yuanwang, huiteng, weixiong, weiming, calvin, andrew, huishi, eugene, jie'an, baoting, weiliang, gina, miaorong, elaine, jingwen, yu rui, janice, adeline
so long ago and i am not making effort to maintain the friendship, if there's one.
--start to write some pseudo thesis--
男人不坏女人不爱。不只一个朋友对我说：“我喜欢男孩坏坏的。” 刘德华德格的歌《笨小孩》也是这么写着的。我想是世人都有一点”无法自拔“吧。自太初，在伊甸的时候，亚当就很犯贱地选择吃禁果。我想大家都有伤害自己的倾向。往往身在其中，都无法察觉。所以好男人有人要吗？新好男人听起来不错，可是往往女生把他们当好朋友看待。
十个男人9个色。真的吗？也是吧。可是也会有友善的男人常常跟女生交谈纯粹是因为他们友善。为什么我总觉得女生总把过于友善的男生已有"色“眼光以待呢?
--okie.. forget it. i am just trying too hard. let's save up energy to write my critique which is due on friday!
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
updates
i wish to write something more in depth than rambling. in fact, i have leave this blogger page on for days before i really start writing. hmm.. guess at the times when i have the most to write, i am too tired. but let's record down what am i feeling now so that hopefully, days later, i will realise that situation has improved.
"very long time never see you" jingyang
"hey! long time no see!" karan,
"eh.. where have you been har?" xuanjie
within 15 min on monday dinner, 3 pple said that to me. guess i have been quite a phantom in hall recently. in fact, i tot i have quite a fanthom in church already. so, it's a situation where both ends not reached. wat am i tryin to do? gaining recognition in hall? what for? but the thing is, i am very willing to join in the fun and rowdiness in the middle of the night but well, all the fun are in level 6. ask me to go up? difficult, where am i supposed to lie on? or hang around?
this is really troubling me: i cannot do my tutorials!! i think i have been perceived as a mugger but the fact is, most of the time i am staring into the questions and unable to do them! i just can't go about the equations. while trying to solve my physics, i neglected my fin accounting (which i better practice until it's at the back of my hand.) sigh..
hall activities? there's no lack of activities to join, what i wish and pray for now are the people in the activities. often, it's not the thing that we do but the thing that we do with. (hmm... guess i must try to find pple to study wiht me, but who?"
in some ways, it may be God having a hand in the activities i am joining. jingwen ask me to be the secretary for tech crew. 1 down. CMB ask me to be their Pub IC. 2 down. Shyuan ask me to be in Sheares Production Sound. 3 down. more than enough,i think. will complete it with something like choir or accapella (if they want me ) haha..
so? if anyone is reading, please pray that i can do my tutorials. the inabilities is killing me. hols in 1 week time, which means mugging must start to pick up from now on and start mugging for that 1 week (i mean 4-day) holidays.
"very long time never see you" jingyang
"hey! long time no see!" karan,
"eh.. where have you been har?" xuanjie
within 15 min on monday dinner, 3 pple said that to me. guess i have been quite a phantom in hall recently. in fact, i tot i have quite a fanthom in church already. so, it's a situation where both ends not reached. wat am i tryin to do? gaining recognition in hall? what for? but the thing is, i am very willing to join in the fun and rowdiness in the middle of the night but well, all the fun are in level 6. ask me to go up? difficult, where am i supposed to lie on? or hang around?
this is really troubling me: i cannot do my tutorials!! i think i have been perceived as a mugger but the fact is, most of the time i am staring into the questions and unable to do them! i just can't go about the equations. while trying to solve my physics, i neglected my fin accounting (which i better practice until it's at the back of my hand.) sigh..
hall activities? there's no lack of activities to join, what i wish and pray for now are the people in the activities. often, it's not the thing that we do but the thing that we do with. (hmm... guess i must try to find pple to study wiht me, but who?"
in some ways, it may be God having a hand in the activities i am joining. jingwen ask me to be the secretary for tech crew. 1 down. CMB ask me to be their Pub IC. 2 down. Shyuan ask me to be in Sheares Production Sound. 3 down. more than enough,i think. will complete it with something like choir or accapella (if they want me ) haha..
so? if anyone is reading, please pray that i can do my tutorials. the inabilities is killing me. hols in 1 week time, which means mugging must start to pick up from now on and start mugging for that 1 week (i mean 4-day) holidays.
Friday, September 02, 2005
dy/dx (blogging) = 0
pple are not bloggin as much liao. seriously... i guess weixiong's reason is pretty valid for me too. many times when something significant happen to blog, another thing supercede the situation and when things are overtaken by event, why blog?
after reading his recent blog, make me realise that i may be in the same plight as him. joining hall activities or any activities is really bothering me. if you think i am trying not to join? you are wrong. i wish to join a lot of things yet with many stumbling blocks attached. i wish to sing but i know i can't. i wish to play but i know i cannot too. ya.. guess it boils down to abiblities. committees sound like something very ernest to join.. but is it true? can i be active in planning and getting around getting things done? and right now, tryin to design block t-shirt and fcm flyers. so i need photoshop, urgent!...
wat's the thing bout joining activities? nope, not to stay.. but to feel like i am involved. i dun wish to sit down and watch the world pass by. guess fcm is an avenue.. but then again, is it true? i feel bad for not being present in hall too. i am pleasing too many pple. i know that. but i am seeing God's guidance in the light of all these, thru pple's testimonies and things that come along the way. yes, He will guide me.
---
weilun said this when we were in lecture. he's sitting on my left and micheal was on my right.
he said: since Sandwich Theorem (yesh, there's really such thing), g(x)<= f(x) <= h(x), and lim g(x) | x->a = and lim h(x) | x->a = L.
So, weilun, who was sitting beside me, is capable, and micheal sitting on my right is capable too, by sandwich theorem, ernest sitting in the middle is capable as well. HAHA..
--
jeff, bernard and myself.
weilun, micheal, mingkeong and myself.
present lecture cliques. hall? ermm.. in the midst of finding.
--
at times when i checked my blur stats and realise that it's not zero, i felt that i am heard. thanks all who are hearing me.
after reading his recent blog, make me realise that i may be in the same plight as him. joining hall activities or any activities is really bothering me. if you think i am trying not to join? you are wrong. i wish to join a lot of things yet with many stumbling blocks attached. i wish to sing but i know i can't. i wish to play but i know i cannot too. ya.. guess it boils down to abiblities. committees sound like something very ernest to join.. but is it true? can i be active in planning and getting around getting things done? and right now, tryin to design block t-shirt and fcm flyers. so i need photoshop, urgent!...
wat's the thing bout joining activities? nope, not to stay.. but to feel like i am involved. i dun wish to sit down and watch the world pass by. guess fcm is an avenue.. but then again, is it true? i feel bad for not being present in hall too. i am pleasing too many pple. i know that. but i am seeing God's guidance in the light of all these, thru pple's testimonies and things that come along the way. yes, He will guide me.
---
weilun said this when we were in lecture. he's sitting on my left and micheal was on my right.
he said: since Sandwich Theorem (yesh, there's really such thing), g(x)<= f(x) <= h(x), and lim g(x) | x->a = and lim h(x) | x->a = L.
So, weilun, who was sitting beside me, is capable, and micheal sitting on my right is capable too, by sandwich theorem, ernest sitting in the middle is capable as well. HAHA..
--
jeff, bernard and myself.
weilun, micheal, mingkeong and myself.
present lecture cliques. hall? ermm.. in the midst of finding.
--
at times when i checked my blur stats and realise that it's not zero, i felt that i am heard. thanks all who are hearing me.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
vjc 01S46
::far away from the main crowd again.. tho efforts been made to move closer..
long time ago, i thought i was a class person... like to have a class. that's why i like dhssec2h so much. later.. in year 1 jc, i guess i am more or less bout the same. jc2 start to withdraw a bit.. now in uni.. i have a class too.. haha.. dun know what kind of friendship will be forged this time.
still.. have to thank jevon for organising a class outing on 28th aug. he's going to france.. quite cool hor. it seemed to be greener on the other side but yesh.. still telling myself that God is good to me.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
miracle change
i need it.. soon, i will take my bath and finsih my tutorial early and start my Friday with a bubbly ernest. yeah.. (Proverbs 18:24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.) start to step our of my self fulfilling prophecy.. start to get happening. make a choice. this is the day.=)
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
relying on God.
i really thank God for my A levels results.. the As are really so erm.. unimaginable. it must be Him. but also because that i really believe that the As comes from God, i have little faith and truly think that my results and abilities cannot match up to my classmates..
but wait.. that's very wrong.. if i know that God is so good to me and will be with me.. why do i even doubt my ability to complete and do well enough??
Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
but wait.. that's very wrong.. if i know that God is so good to me and will be with me.. why do i even doubt my ability to complete and do well enough??
Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Sunday, August 21, 2005
taiwan trip sending off
acutally, i should be grateful to the Lord, for giving me so many friends. and the following are the pple who came to send me off before my Ex Highnoon in taiwan. =) yeap, finally gotten the photos from lime.. =)
in all things, thank God
in all things, thank God
Friday, August 19, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
..i ask myself, what will i be?
ernest: i still feel very sian about myself. for not knowing what i want in hall.. involvement for just a place to stay..
ernest: well.. in the end, my half-heartedness cause me not gettig it i guess..
ernest: i am glad, at the same time, wondering what's next for me..
finally settling down..i hope says:
i understand wat u feel
finally settling down..i hope says:
i am prob feelin the same thing, rrealli
ernest: well.. in the end, my half-heartedness cause me not gettig it i guess..
ernest: i am glad, at the same time, wondering what's next for me..
i understand wat u feel
i am prob feelin the same thing, rrealli
deprived of bloggin..
ernest: http://msncheck.41m.com change your msn nick... anyway, it's reallie surprising to know who have deleted me!! says:
i still feel very sian about myself. for not knowing what i want in hall.. involvement for just a place to stay..
ernest: http://msncheck.41m.com change your msn nick... anyway, it's reallie surprising to know who have deleted me!! says:
well.. in the end, my half-heartedness cause me not gettig it i guess..
ernest: http://msncheck.41m.com change your msn nick... anyway, it's reallie surprising to know who have deleted me!! says:
i am glad, at the same time, wondering what's next for me..
finally settling down..i hope says:
i understand wat u feel
finally settling down..i hope says:
i am prob feelin the same thing, rrealli
i still feel very sian about myself. for not knowing what i want in hall.. involvement for just a place to stay..
ernest: http://msncheck.41m.com change your msn nick... anyway, it's reallie surprising to know who have deleted me!! says:
well.. in the end, my half-heartedness cause me not gettig it i guess..
ernest: http://msncheck.41m.com change your msn nick... anyway, it's reallie surprising to know who have deleted me!! says:
i am glad, at the same time, wondering what's next for me..
i understand wat u feel
i am prob feelin the same thing, rrealli
Friday, August 12, 2005
good and bad things so far..
which do you prefer? to ask someone for a date but being turned down? or being declined gently? or accepted your invite quite not enthusiatically? well.. asking someone out has been quite a difficult thing for me.. tho it's for standard stuffs and nth more than platonic is involved but kinda sad when you realise that you cannot get a date. anyway, asked faith and erm.. yeap got it.. in the 3rd manner.
which do you prefer? during a mass truth session, when the girls are asked about the most cute/yandao blah freshie guys... you name isn't called? your name is called out as the majority (which means it's a template decided by them to save the trouble to saying the truth.. )? clement is the choice for the seniors.. he's really quite enthu, funky and humourous.. so.. would you like to be called out as the template for juniors? i dun know..
initiation was fun.. with all the gross stuffs and water and ice.. guess i am just deprived of such experience in sec sch.. cos i din't join those kind of cca. =) right at this moment, they are playing touch rugby and soccer in the mpsh.. which obviously i find it difficult to join..
the following is the list of things "complained".. not becos i am not satisfied with God's arrangement for me but a list to note so that next time (hopefully soon enough) i can know and realise His ways are indeed higher and His plan is the best..
my room is at level 4 (ground floor) and it;s along the corridor which everyone from block E (not my block, my block is block D) will walk pass.. so, when i practice the open-door policy, i cannot help it but being irritated by the passing by block E-kers.. so, dun open door, appear to be anti..
hmm.. actually, not much to write about complainings.. let me share some testimony..
kent ridge is my first choice and i got shears .. now, feedback tells me that kentridge has more politics and the points are not transparent. and also, same level of activity in kentridge will earn half the points as compared to shears (according to eunice)
i am in block D (which has no chem engin pple, pple whom i know like zeming, joel, leonard eunice are all not in this block). then i realise that this block is a cultural block (not very sports type.. so, i guess i am more comfy in this block as compared to other blocks..
no friends in sheares from the start.. but now.. i guess, erm.. i am being trained to make friends. tho i think i have made any, but i know God will bring some to me (cos i've prayed bout it)
chem engin is siong.. not only the workload but the competition.. the whole year 1 are limited to take 20 MC in this sem.. but somehow, chem engin pple can take 25.! so... almost all took 6 modules this sem.. almost.. and of cos i followed suit. hah..
actually, i just wish to have more companions, friends, and of cos, ability to study well enough.. =)
which do you prefer? during a mass truth session, when the girls are asked about the most cute/yandao blah freshie guys... you name isn't called? your name is called out as the majority (which means it's a template decided by them to save the trouble to saying the truth.. )? clement is the choice for the seniors.. he's really quite enthu, funky and humourous.. so.. would you like to be called out as the template for juniors? i dun know..
initiation was fun.. with all the gross stuffs and water and ice.. guess i am just deprived of such experience in sec sch.. cos i din't join those kind of cca. =) right at this moment, they are playing touch rugby and soccer in the mpsh.. which obviously i find it difficult to join..
the following is the list of things "complained".. not becos i am not satisfied with God's arrangement for me but a list to note so that next time (hopefully soon enough) i can know and realise His ways are indeed higher and His plan is the best..
my room is at level 4 (ground floor) and it;s along the corridor which everyone from block E (not my block, my block is block D) will walk pass.. so, when i practice the open-door policy, i cannot help it but being irritated by the passing by block E-kers.. so, dun open door, appear to be anti..
hmm.. actually, not much to write about complainings.. let me share some testimony..
kent ridge is my first choice and i got shears .. now, feedback tells me that kentridge has more politics and the points are not transparent. and also, same level of activity in kentridge will earn half the points as compared to shears (according to eunice)
i am in block D (which has no chem engin pple, pple whom i know like zeming, joel, leonard eunice are all not in this block). then i realise that this block is a cultural block (not very sports type.. so, i guess i am more comfy in this block as compared to other blocks..
no friends in sheares from the start.. but now.. i guess, erm.. i am being trained to make friends. tho i think i have made any, but i know God will bring some to me (cos i've prayed bout it)
chem engin is siong.. not only the workload but the competition.. the whole year 1 are limited to take 20 MC in this sem.. but somehow, chem engin pple can take 25.! so... almost all took 6 modules this sem.. almost.. and of cos i followed suit. hah..
actually, i just wish to have more companions, friends, and of cos, ability to study well enough.. =)
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
why can't i be more firm!!!!!!!
gabriel says take 6 is right.. then i want to take 6
when i see pple have 4 day week, i also want to have 4 day week..
when i see weilun taking 5, i advise him take 6..
senior class advise 6, i try to bid for my 6th..
when i am bidding, i din't monitor.. trying to leave it for God to decide.
when i din't get the module, i take it as God's will..
but now weilun has his 6th module and i start to gabra-ah..
jeff taking 5? bernard dun know what..
so,?? am i supposed to take 6 or 5?? i think i am quite slack this sem.. wat shux.. slack also cannot, siong also cannot.. wat am i doing??
take special term lah.. wat the..
when i see pple have 4 day week, i also want to have 4 day week..
when i see weilun taking 5, i advise him take 6..
senior class advise 6, i try to bid for my 6th..
when i am bidding, i din't monitor.. trying to leave it for God to decide.
when i din't get the module, i take it as God's will..
but now weilun has his 6th module and i start to gabra-ah..
jeff taking 5? bernard dun know what..
so,?? am i supposed to take 6 or 5?? i think i am quite slack this sem.. wat shux.. slack also cannot, siong also cannot.. wat am i doing??
take special term lah.. wat the..
Monday, August 08, 2005
the joy and confidence...
i was playing sepak takraw with gabriel, mark, william/julian (dun know what's his name), zhihan (he's good), lip hon, matthew..
well, my legs were tired, not from playing but from standing around being a vase.. yesh.. typical ernest in a sports game and wonder why did i join them in the first place.. i guess i am tryin hard to try playing.. the problem with most pple is that they dun even try.. okie.. i am referring to myself.. i dun even try to play sports..
i dun want and dun wish to present a super low confidence ernest in this blog but i just cant feel confident about things.. and about myself.. that's wrong.. there's smth that gives me joy and confidence cos the Lord is with me.
Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
there's should be nth to fear when God is with me.. isn't it?
well, my legs were tired, not from playing but from standing around being a vase.. yesh.. typical ernest in a sports game and wonder why did i join them in the first place.. i guess i am tryin hard to try playing.. the problem with most pple is that they dun even try.. okie.. i am referring to myself.. i dun even try to play sports..
i dun want and dun wish to present a super low confidence ernest in this blog but i just cant feel confident about things.. and about myself.. that's wrong.. there's smth that gives me joy and confidence cos the Lord is with me.
Romans 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
there's should be nth to fear when God is with me.. isn't it?
Friday, August 05, 2005
confidence
anyway, i have a problem.. well.. i always say that..
but i guess i just cannot appear to be confident enough.. as a result, not suitable to do the thigns that i like best.. influencing pple. and i am always so not confident that i cannot perform till the end..
well. that me i guess.
but i guess i just cannot appear to be confident enough.. as a result, not suitable to do the thigns that i like best.. influencing pple. and i am always so not confident that i cannot perform till the end..
well. that me i guess.
nus, sheares hall
here's an update about myself after reading lingqin's. erm.. i know going back to school is quite normal to many but definitely not to me for i go back to school with a lot of uncertainties, questions and blurness.. haha..
i am taking 5 modules this sem. (cos i dun dare to try 6 on my first attempt and too many uncertainties.. ) tho i wish to take 6 modules, i dun know which is the 6th module i should be taking.. have to spend more time praying before making decision..
1. EG1413
2. MA1505
3. PC1431
4. FN1001
5. GEM????
okie.. shant talk in language unknnown haaha. (1 Cor 14.. hehehe) they are critical thinkning and writing (ENglish) maths (i am worried for my maths sux now.. hh and bh can testify for that) and physics (!! ) Chemical perspective of our atmosphere, and Financial Accounting.! (wow.. it's my personal choice.. so i better like it.. =)
realise that time is really not enough.. and i seriously need to think about what are my invariable meetings and priorities.. mon night class, tue pm, or fri fcm? i really dun know if i can go for all 3.. okie.. actually fri fcm is out cos my lesson ends at 8 that day.. maybe will go after 8.. so.. what about cca? i dun know.. pple are talking about resume and doing the most in nus cos you wun have that chance next time.. talking having exciting experience with productions and all.. so.. what do i want/? make a difference? or to be different? playing sports in hall? how sports can i play maN?? nth.. ! so join committees? was helping with rag (float making) and i realise i kinda get pretty useless at times.. wish i am a designer, but i dun seem to be doing well.. so? dun know.. pretty sad to remain amatuerish all the while.. drama? skin is holding me back.. in fact, i guess i am inactive most of the time with skin as my convenient excuse .. talking bout sports and stuffs..
so.. what am i worrying bout? erm.. i hope that i know what's for me and what do i really want in uni.. exciting hostel life, how involved should i be in the hostel? good grades? know friends? i dun know.. you know.. i feel very guilty whenever i feel lost or sad or not cheery or become worrisome.. cos i should be a happy guy whose trust is in the Lord, who has created heaven and earth.. why should i worry!! When i can drill that fact into me and stop worrying..???
so.. school is starting this coming monday.. wow.. how exciting.. oh ya.. my mon ends at 9.. i mean 9 am. so.. hhaahha. wonder if it's good or bad..
may God help me and help us to know His will for us.. =)
i am taking 5 modules this sem. (cos i dun dare to try 6 on my first attempt and too many uncertainties.. ) tho i wish to take 6 modules, i dun know which is the 6th module i should be taking.. have to spend more time praying before making decision..
1. EG1413
2. MA1505
3. PC1431
4. FN1001
5. GEM????
okie.. shant talk in language unknnown haaha. (1 Cor 14.. hehehe) they are critical thinkning and writing (ENglish) maths (i am worried for my maths sux now.. hh and bh can testify for that) and physics (!! ) Chemical perspective of our atmosphere, and Financial Accounting.! (wow.. it's my personal choice.. so i better like it.. =)
realise that time is really not enough.. and i seriously need to think about what are my invariable meetings and priorities.. mon night class, tue pm, or fri fcm? i really dun know if i can go for all 3.. okie.. actually fri fcm is out cos my lesson ends at 8 that day.. maybe will go after 8.. so.. what about cca? i dun know.. pple are talking about resume and doing the most in nus cos you wun have that chance next time.. talking having exciting experience with productions and all.. so.. what do i want/? make a difference? or to be different? playing sports in hall? how sports can i play maN?? nth.. ! so join committees? was helping with rag (float making) and i realise i kinda get pretty useless at times.. wish i am a designer, but i dun seem to be doing well.. so? dun know.. pretty sad to remain amatuerish all the while.. drama? skin is holding me back.. in fact, i guess i am inactive most of the time with skin as my convenient excuse .. talking bout sports and stuffs..
so.. what am i worrying bout? erm.. i hope that i know what's for me and what do i really want in uni.. exciting hostel life, how involved should i be in the hostel? good grades? know friends? i dun know.. you know.. i feel very guilty whenever i feel lost or sad or not cheery or become worrisome.. cos i should be a happy guy whose trust is in the Lord, who has created heaven and earth.. why should i worry!! When i can drill that fact into me and stop worrying..???
so.. school is starting this coming monday.. wow.. how exciting.. oh ya.. my mon ends at 9.. i mean 9 am. so.. hhaahha. wonder if it's good or bad..
may God help me and help us to know His will for us.. =)
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
bidding...
okie.. got a lot of problems including dun know what modules to take.. it's about managerial economics or my gem (chemical atmosphere)...
why am i so concerned? becos i can only take one science gem.. i am treasuring it.!! i dun wish to rush into it.. where as i can take more biz modules next time since i am going to minor in ba.. ya.. so.. dun know lah..
now, i hope that i can bid the gem with ONE point.. have to monitor to make sure it's one point... if not i wun not be willing to drop and try for my managerial econs with will be open for bidding only in the next round..
so.. it's bout ONE point..
weiliang was saying.. we are so concerned to bid with ONE point.. so.. just one point.. !
why am i so concerned? becos i can only take one science gem.. i am treasuring it.!! i dun wish to rush into it.. where as i can take more biz modules next time since i am going to minor in ba.. ya.. so.. dun know lah..
now, i hope that i can bid the gem with ONE point.. have to monitor to make sure it's one point... if not i wun not be willing to drop and try for my managerial econs with will be open for bidding only in the next round..
so.. it's bout ONE point..
weiliang was saying.. we are so concerned to bid with ONE point.. so.. just one point.. !
Sunday, July 31, 2005
diff pple diff styles
i guess i have to argue about it and pen it down (which is typical of type A).
yes, often type A is referred to the not street-smart, full of brain-knowledge and unable to cut corners at appropriate times. was in the van with amos and nick and they were talking about how this type of pple can't make good officers in army or have weird inappropriate handling techniques.
so what's their arguement? often type P are the one who can arrive at the final stage, skipping the intermediate steps (which deemed unnecessary to them) and achieving the same end-product. a far-fetch example and typical illustration: on the way back from marina in bp's car, ty (a typical type P), as usual, not wearing seatbelt, but hurried to put on one when a QX appear from behind.
end-result: not caught by QX. (achieved)
intermediate steps: wearing seatbelt (not done)
apparently, it's a well-done action, complimented by the alertness (typical of type P) and tactical actions (demostrated by type P), and the end result is still attained. but so what? yes, the intermediate steps aren't impt and can be skipped but is it true? and it can only be proven untrue when it's all too late.
so, what's going on in army? losing of equipments.. SAF1206? is that a bad choice and rigid manner to solve the loss? or G219, eliminating the cost burdened by the poor soldier but taxing the overall accounting dept and qm? being-people oriented may use G219, and hence, solving issues with human techniques, but imposing SAF1206 doesn't mean that it's not right.. there's so called responsibilty instilling process involved. okay.. this is still not a good example. but the idea is.. watever methods of solving, it's not about Can make it or Cannot make it.. it's just different.
yes, often type A is referred to the not street-smart, full of brain-knowledge and unable to cut corners at appropriate times. was in the van with amos and nick and they were talking about how this type of pple can't make good officers in army or have weird inappropriate handling techniques.
so what's their arguement? often type P are the one who can arrive at the final stage, skipping the intermediate steps (which deemed unnecessary to them) and achieving the same end-product. a far-fetch example and typical illustration: on the way back from marina in bp's car, ty (a typical type P), as usual, not wearing seatbelt, but hurried to put on one when a QX appear from behind.
end-result: not caught by QX. (achieved)
intermediate steps: wearing seatbelt (not done)
apparently, it's a well-done action, complimented by the alertness (typical of type P) and tactical actions (demostrated by type P), and the end result is still attained. but so what? yes, the intermediate steps aren't impt and can be skipped but is it true? and it can only be proven untrue when it's all too late.
so, what's going on in army? losing of equipments.. SAF1206? is that a bad choice and rigid manner to solve the loss? or G219, eliminating the cost burdened by the poor soldier but taxing the overall accounting dept and qm? being-people oriented may use G219, and hence, solving issues with human techniques, but imposing SAF1206 doesn't mean that it's not right.. there's so called responsibilty instilling process involved. okay.. this is still not a good example. but the idea is.. watever methods of solving, it's not about Can make it or Cannot make it.. it's just different.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
leaving for hostel
will be checking in tonight.. that cause me to skip the first day of orientation. well. i hope i will not miss too much.
you know. in a sense, i feel that i have become stronger in the Lord. many 'solo' decisions i have made (skipping ice-breaking for orientation cos it's on Sun), leaving it to God when it comes to friends and companions and boldly staying into hostel when there's none i know in sheares. have this comfort that my Lord, God will take care of me. maybe thigns will turn out bad and awful but due to this worry prompt me to pray harder. and yes, i covet for prayers from friends now.
great reminder from amos, that is to believe..
you know. in a sense, i feel that i have become stronger in the Lord. many 'solo' decisions i have made (skipping ice-breaking for orientation cos it's on Sun), leaving it to God when it comes to friends and companions and boldly staying into hostel when there's none i know in sheares. have this comfort that my Lord, God will take care of me. maybe thigns will turn out bad and awful but due to this worry prompt me to pray harder. and yes, i covet for prayers from friends now.
great reminder from amos, that is to believe..
Friday, July 22, 2005
where am i heading to?
我很在意自己是否一直的作为都是一厢情愿的。我们的小报刊就要出版了.这时,据说,我们的共同杰作,所以应该,可以,动员上下参与制作.这么说来,如果有个制作,从头到尾都不被考虑需要全体的贡献,那...会是某些人的一厢情愿吗? 可能有些人会说我想太多，不过，曾发生过的是让我无法不怀疑自己的存在/认可. 如果再一次发生争议性的事件,在我未能辩解说明之前,是否会有人主动地站在我的立场相呢?
one more task
one more to go. .. . W.A.T.C.H..
acutally .. 1.5 to go.. cos alan's is half-done.
actually, 2 more to go.. cos need to prepare tabernaclebpc.com.. ya.. completing.. haha
acutally .. 1.5 to go.. cos alan's is half-done.
actually, 2 more to go.. cos need to prepare tabernaclebpc.com.. ya.. completing.. haha
Thursday, July 21, 2005
5 people you meet in heaven.
finished reading the book yesterday. and yes.. this will add on to my list of completed things before the start of my NUS term. set myself to read it before the end of my hols so that i can move on to Da Vinci Code.. but i guess i have to postpone my Da Vinci until much later. =)
dun find this book as edifying as the previous one (tuesday with Morie).. but have the following to share.
in the book, God appear quite a few times, mainly appearing as a Being in control in His own time allow the things to happen for some reason or another. So, this author has this idea of God and supreme Being... but as it is with a lot of other pple, the characteristics of God in the book is humanized and not reveled by God Himself. there's a revelation from God Himself thru the Bible, wun you believe?
the book is still overall quite simply written with adequate engaging factors (finding out who are the 5 pple).. but the ending is surprising more inspiring than the content. it finishes wiht a good note, somehow. =)
checked in to sheares.. it's a small place. =) thank lime and mee2 for accompanying me.. i guess i will be much less entertained without them..
dun find this book as edifying as the previous one (tuesday with Morie).. but have the following to share.
in the book, God appear quite a few times, mainly appearing as a Being in control in His own time allow the things to happen for some reason or another. So, this author has this idea of God and supreme Being... but as it is with a lot of other pple, the characteristics of God in the book is humanized and not reveled by God Himself. there's a revelation from God Himself thru the Bible, wun you believe?
the book is still overall quite simply written with adequate engaging factors (finding out who are the 5 pple).. but the ending is surprising more inspiring than the content. it finishes wiht a good note, somehow. =)
checked in to sheares.. it's a small place. =) thank lime and mee2 for accompanying me.. i guess i will be much less entertained without them..
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
giving myself in to questions again
i am feeling very guilty. and i am not happy with the following yet unable to get myself out of the situation.
i think i am asking too much from others about me. too self-centred. i wish there's more that pple can see in me. vain glory and vanity in action.
sometimes i just dun understand (okie, i understand but cannot accept). why do people like pple who are a little bad. like jokes that are a little dirty. like to pass remarks that are a bit cynical. hanging out with pple conversing with witty quotes (sarcastic quotes to be exact). more often than not, it's the choleric type of pple which gets things. like hitler and pol pot. but why>? arent they considered to be bad pple and yet they can have influence. FJ. really FJ.
opinions shared are always more valuable than hidden thoughts. even when the thoughts are worthy ideas.
felt envious when pple shared bout the "henious" and yet exciting things they do as friends, with their gang/clique. 君子之交淡如水. that's what i will use to delude myself. (Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 1Cor 13:8)
friends, playing impt role in our lives. but they come and go. can i identify anyone coming in my direction? (Proverbs 18:24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.)
i think i am asking too much from others about me. too self-centred. i wish there's more that pple can see in me. vain glory and vanity in action.
sometimes i just dun understand (okie, i understand but cannot accept). why do people like pple who are a little bad. like jokes that are a little dirty. like to pass remarks that are a bit cynical. hanging out with pple conversing with witty quotes (sarcastic quotes to be exact). more often than not, it's the choleric type of pple which gets things. like hitler and pol pot. but why>? arent they considered to be bad pple and yet they can have influence. FJ. really FJ.
opinions shared are always more valuable than hidden thoughts. even when the thoughts are worthy ideas.
felt envious when pple shared bout the "henious" and yet exciting things they do as friends, with their gang/clique. 君子之交淡如水. that's what i will use to delude myself. (Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 1Cor 13:8)
friends, playing impt role in our lives. but they come and go. can i identify anyone coming in my direction? (Proverbs 18:24: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.)
talking to josiah
after talking to him, i realised that we are sharing similar trouble. it's thru God's restraining love that i am still in church. it's my bro that is keeping me in church. how ironical.
doubts about us being able to be tennis players.. maybe it's not the game for us in the very first place. had that struggle. shared with one one person so far.. cannot bring myself to talk bout it..
doubts about us being able to be tennis players.. maybe it's not the game for us in the very first place. had that struggle. shared with one one person so far.. cannot bring myself to talk bout it..
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
schooling soon
school will start next week. i was having great relucntance to give up my holidays (which has been on for months). I guess i am still reluctant. however, thank God for preparing me to get into the mood of school.
being busy with a few tasks to complete, i have to start working seriously and no more long sleeping hours and slacking. indeed, word is still ordained by God and is the right thing for us to do. and i am going to be a student, pray that i can be a good one too.
A visit to nus with shuhui helps me a lot. i was lamenting about the mathematical modules that i am going to take, and i thought i will be happier to take some arts subjects which are interesting and facinating. looking thru the books that shuhui borrowed, interested as i, yet i realise i can't bring myself to finish reading. i think i can read them up as leisure but not studying for tests. visiting the hostel gives me excitment . now, i am keen to have a stay in the west part of singapore. I even have thoughts bout meeting jiannan during his nights out or even to have shomerim meetings in hostel or nus. shuping offered to lend me her small fridge and i gladly accepted. maybe i will bring my guitar along erm.. will be nice to have something to play with. =) haha.. now, i feel like i am moving house.
tho i am quite sure that my hostel stay is not going to be long due to financial reasons.. i hope i will enjoy and make full use of my stay there..
now, i just hope to finish all my "assignments" and start school right!
oh ya.. wenyong is in chem engin too. guess i have some kind of affinity with him afterall. =)
being busy with a few tasks to complete, i have to start working seriously and no more long sleeping hours and slacking. indeed, word is still ordained by God and is the right thing for us to do. and i am going to be a student, pray that i can be a good one too.
A visit to nus with shuhui helps me a lot. i was lamenting about the mathematical modules that i am going to take, and i thought i will be happier to take some arts subjects which are interesting and facinating. looking thru the books that shuhui borrowed, interested as i, yet i realise i can't bring myself to finish reading. i think i can read them up as leisure but not studying for tests. visiting the hostel gives me excitment . now, i am keen to have a stay in the west part of singapore. I even have thoughts bout meeting jiannan during his nights out or even to have shomerim meetings in hostel or nus. shuping offered to lend me her small fridge and i gladly accepted. maybe i will bring my guitar along erm.. will be nice to have something to play with. =) haha.. now, i feel like i am moving house.
tho i am quite sure that my hostel stay is not going to be long due to financial reasons.. i hope i will enjoy and make full use of my stay there..
now, i just hope to finish all my "assignments" and start school right!
oh ya.. wenyong is in chem engin too. guess i have some kind of affinity with him afterall. =)
Monday, July 18, 2005
about dixon
"ernest arh.. can i dun go to church? "
"it's up to you.. "
"but i dun go church but we stil be friends?"
"it has been Christ which enables me to befirend you all along. not that i dun like you, jsut that, you should know that it's bout God..."
"ya.. but dun feel like it.. but you still be my friend?"
i think many times, tangible friend is still more impt than God to many pple.. i think often, sometimes, i am like that too.. well.. waht to feel bout dixon? erm.. i really dun know.. have i delivered the wrong message to him? or have i not done my best for Him?
"it's up to you.. "
"but i dun go church but we stil be friends?"
"it has been Christ which enables me to befirend you all along. not that i dun like you, jsut that, you should know that it's bout God..."
"ya.. but dun feel like it.. but you still be my friend?"
i think many times, tangible friend is still more impt than God to many pple.. i think often, sometimes, i am like that too.. well.. waht to feel bout dixon? erm.. i really dun know.. have i delivered the wrong message to him? or have i not done my best for Him?
Friday, July 15, 2005
things to do
church web.. going to be done
sg-anime - done
dreameize... postponed indefinitly
alan's - doing..
watch - doing..
apply easilink card
apply notebook loan and place order
quite job (done)
prepare for matric.. bidding..
argh.~
sg-anime - done
dreameize... postponed indefinitly
alan's - doing..
watch - doing..
apply easilink card
apply notebook loan and place order
quite job (done)
prepare for matric.. bidding..
argh.~
Thursday, July 14, 2005
no time
21st - check in
23rd - move in
24th - orientation, but i am not going (it's a sunday!)
25th - orientation till 30th July (i am not going for that sunday too.!)
feeling quite sian and unhappy when they are all taking Sunday to be orientation day. erm.. jsut dun like it.
then 1st Aug - O-week (again!)
8th Aug - start sch.
in the end.. ? no time. think i better pray for more time. it's starts tonight.
1. alan's web
2. church's web
3. my web
4. shomerim newsletter layout
oh.. have i become a designer or smth/? haha..
5. start packing and revising..
no time, better start today.
23rd - move in
24th - orientation, but i am not going (it's a sunday!)
25th - orientation till 30th July (i am not going for that sunday too.!)
feeling quite sian and unhappy when they are all taking Sunday to be orientation day. erm.. jsut dun like it.
then 1st Aug - O-week (again!)
8th Aug - start sch.
in the end.. ? no time. think i better pray for more time. it's starts tonight.
1. alan's web
2. church's web
3. my web
4. shomerim newsletter layout
oh.. have i become a designer or smth/? haha..
5. start packing and revising..
no time, better start today.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
back from cambodia
back from a mission trip from Cambodia.. had a great time there seein the lives of cambodia. more importantly, thank God for His precious lessons in cambodia.. i know He's speaking to me personally thru all the happenings.
have a lot of qns and struggles in my heart, even till now.. but i am still not drowning.. i pray that i will be a better swimmer soon..
photos not ready.. eager to post too..
the following is my blog in shomerim blog..
::Wednesday, July 13, 2005::
:: God is so good! ::
thank God for bringing us back safely and blessin us with so many things.. good weather, safety, fellowship and many spiritual lessons! He's so good to us.
but something that i must testify is that men can only do so much. truely, nine of us went with the intentions to bring clothes, joy and little happiness to them, to bring the Gospel to them, teaching them God's word. but, somehow, i felt that whatever we are doing are still so minimal but yet God is good, and He used little men like us to bless His work and people. when u hear bout the progess of God's ministry in the little rural villages away from the cities and the many people who gave their life to the preaching of Gospel, and that thru twists and turns (able to rent cheap places/ buy cheap places, able to get the right venue, the response of the people) that the churches grows and develop, you know that God is truly almighty!.. God is so good, to all His people.
the people have little material, but God gave them hope in heaven and 'deliver' them from the temptation of the worlds. He's so good. when missionaries were often faced with diff (disturbance from villagers, volatile congregations etc), but God gave them strength. the villages, seemingly to be out of reach (very rural), but God send the Gospel to them..
i cant pen down His goodness but i felt it. He's really so good.
it has further reineforce in my heart how true and real and almighty inifinite our God is. i tell myself that i cannot ever leave this true God.
Praise the Lord, our God.~
have a lot of qns and struggles in my heart, even till now.. but i am still not drowning.. i pray that i will be a better swimmer soon..
photos not ready.. eager to post too..
the following is my blog in shomerim blog..
::Wednesday, July 13, 2005::
:: God is so good! ::
thank God for bringing us back safely and blessin us with so many things.. good weather, safety, fellowship and many spiritual lessons! He's so good to us.
but something that i must testify is that men can only do so much. truely, nine of us went with the intentions to bring clothes, joy and little happiness to them, to bring the Gospel to them, teaching them God's word. but, somehow, i felt that whatever we are doing are still so minimal but yet God is good, and He used little men like us to bless His work and people. when u hear bout the progess of God's ministry in the little rural villages away from the cities and the many people who gave their life to the preaching of Gospel, and that thru twists and turns (able to rent cheap places/ buy cheap places, able to get the right venue, the response of the people) that the churches grows and develop, you know that God is truly almighty!.. God is so good, to all His people.
the people have little material, but God gave them hope in heaven and 'deliver' them from the temptation of the worlds. He's so good. when missionaries were often faced with diff (disturbance from villagers, volatile congregations etc), but God gave them strength. the villages, seemingly to be out of reach (very rural), but God send the Gospel to them..
i cant pen down His goodness but i felt it. He's really so good.
it has further reineforce in my heart how true and real and almighty inifinite our God is. i tell myself that i cannot ever leave this true God.
Praise the Lord, our God.~
Friday, July 08, 2005
long time no see chalet
back from the chalet, weiliang's chalet. still remember those days when there's a chalet to join (or you call it chap tzi kar) each year during holidays. it's the chalets which allows me to know this bunch of erm.. hard-to-catogorize friend.. and thru surprising attempts, with only a few meetups a year for the past 7 years.., i am still having fun with them tat the chalet.. thank God.
talked bout Christianity n God in the chalet with jy and wl. erm.. it seems that Romans 1:19-25 is very true. (of cos it's true. it's the word of God). what's so true about it? wl and Jy both believe that there's a higher Being. but then again, it's another thing to tell them who is the one and only true God.
19 神 的 事 情 、 人 所 能 知 道 的 、 原 顯 明 在 人 心 裡 ． 因 為 神 已 經 給 他 們 顯 明 。
20自 從 造 天 地 以 來 、 神 的 永 能 和 神 性 是 明 明 可 知 的 、 雖 是 眼 不 能 見 、 但 藉 著 所 造 之 物 、 就 可 以 曉 得 、 叫 人 無 可 推 諉 ．
21因 為 他 們 雖 然 知 道 神 、 卻 不 當 作 神 榮 耀 他 、 也 不 感 謝 他 ． 他 們 的 思 念 變 為 虛 妄 、 無 知 的 心 就 昏 暗 了 ．
22自 稱 為 聰 明 、 反 成 了 愚 拙 、
23將 不 能 朽 壞 之 神 的 榮 耀 、 變 為 偶 像 、 彷 彿 必 朽 壞 的 人 、 和 飛 禽 走 獸 昆 蟲 的 樣 式 。
24所 以 神 任 憑 他 們 、 逞 著 心 裡 的 情 慾 行 污 穢 的 事 、 以 致 彼 此 玷 辱 自 己 的 身 體 。
25他 們 將 神 的 真 實 變 為 虛 謊 、 去 敬 拜 事 奉 受 造 之 物 、 不 敬 奉 那 造 物 的 主 ． 主 乃 是 可 稱 頌 的 、 直 到 永 遠 。
jy says that she's confused, too many versions of bible and protestants and pple who aren't behaving as christians blah.. yeap. and she says, da vinci code says smth which put her to thougths.. the Bible is written by man afterall. BUT, jy: the Bible has stood the test of time, not becos we can preserve it, but God is preserving it." just one more sentence: if you are willing to read da vinci code cos it's a good book and allowing it to influence your thinking.. why are you not opening yourself to another book (the bible?) by denying or having little appetite for the Bible is already another proof that the Bible is true. Man by own deprave nature will not seek God by himself..
visit the night safari.. it's my first visit and i guess i have enjoyed myelsf. and in fact, i am so proud to be Singaporean, to know that we have world class zoo and night safari. felt the pride when tourists are enjoying themselves. felt the need to wave and be friendly cos they are tourists.. hehe=) and enjoy the close encounter with bats.! hehe. =) it's the closest you can get to a bat.. hhaa.. =)
still waiting for the photos to be uploaded by weiliang so that i can save them into my own album. hhaa. =)
and thanks to weiliang, that i have my first real driving on the roads ! hehe. previous drove around ponggol but it's a short ride.. =) but this time!!>...
my house to costa sands pasir ris (chalet)
chalet to pasir ris mrt to take mrt to work
chalet to telok kurau to send jy home.. and back to chalet
then to 445 coffeeshop for supper and back to chalet
and drove home this morning!! haha..
been on TPE and PIE.. yeah!!
and did parking, for erm.. 3 or 4 times? exciting!!! tho it's quite not very good but, hey.! it's my first few attempts. =) and 3 pt turn in the lanes of telok kurau..
wow.. just feel cool to drive.. and really thank God for the opportunity to have weiliang so willingly entrusting the steering wheel to me. =) tot it's quite a daring stunt for him~ haha..
got to prepare for tuition and cambodia liao. =) going to cambodia for mission trip to help with the villages churches. =) flying off tmr and will be back on wed (the day when weixiong and all will be touching down as well)
the God be the glory.
talked bout Christianity n God in the chalet with jy and wl. erm.. it seems that Romans 1:19-25 is very true. (of cos it's true. it's the word of God). what's so true about it? wl and Jy both believe that there's a higher Being. but then again, it's another thing to tell them who is the one and only true God.
19 神 的 事 情 、 人 所 能 知 道 的 、 原 顯 明 在 人 心 裡 ． 因 為 神 已 經 給 他 們 顯 明 。
20自 從 造 天 地 以 來 、 神 的 永 能 和 神 性 是 明 明 可 知 的 、 雖 是 眼 不 能 見 、 但 藉 著 所 造 之 物 、 就 可 以 曉 得 、 叫 人 無 可 推 諉 ．
21因 為 他 們 雖 然 知 道 神 、 卻 不 當 作 神 榮 耀 他 、 也 不 感 謝 他 ． 他 們 的 思 念 變 為 虛 妄 、 無 知 的 心 就 昏 暗 了 ．
22自 稱 為 聰 明 、 反 成 了 愚 拙 、
23將 不 能 朽 壞 之 神 的 榮 耀 、 變 為 偶 像 、 彷 彿 必 朽 壞 的 人 、 和 飛 禽 走 獸 昆 蟲 的 樣 式 。
24所 以 神 任 憑 他 們 、 逞 著 心 裡 的 情 慾 行 污 穢 的 事 、 以 致 彼 此 玷 辱 自 己 的 身 體 。
25他 們 將 神 的 真 實 變 為 虛 謊 、 去 敬 拜 事 奉 受 造 之 物 、 不 敬 奉 那 造 物 的 主 ． 主 乃 是 可 稱 頌 的 、 直 到 永 遠 。
jy says that she's confused, too many versions of bible and protestants and pple who aren't behaving as christians blah.. yeap. and she says, da vinci code says smth which put her to thougths.. the Bible is written by man afterall. BUT, jy: the Bible has stood the test of time, not becos we can preserve it, but God is preserving it." just one more sentence: if you are willing to read da vinci code cos it's a good book and allowing it to influence your thinking.. why are you not opening yourself to another book (the bible?) by denying or having little appetite for the Bible is already another proof that the Bible is true. Man by own deprave nature will not seek God by himself..
visit the night safari.. it's my first visit and i guess i have enjoyed myelsf. and in fact, i am so proud to be Singaporean, to know that we have world class zoo and night safari. felt the pride when tourists are enjoying themselves. felt the need to wave and be friendly cos they are tourists.. hehe=) and enjoy the close encounter with bats.! hehe. =) it's the closest you can get to a bat.. hhaa.. =)
still waiting for the photos to be uploaded by weiliang so that i can save them into my own album. hhaa. =)
and thanks to weiliang, that i have my first real driving on the roads ! hehe. previous drove around ponggol but it's a short ride.. =) but this time!!>...
my house to costa sands pasir ris (chalet)
chalet to pasir ris mrt to take mrt to work
chalet to telok kurau to send jy home.. and back to chalet
then to 445 coffeeshop for supper and back to chalet
and drove home this morning!! haha..
been on TPE and PIE.. yeah!!
and did parking, for erm.. 3 or 4 times? exciting!!! tho it's quite not very good but, hey.! it's my first few attempts. =) and 3 pt turn in the lanes of telok kurau..
wow.. just feel cool to drive.. and really thank God for the opportunity to have weiliang so willingly entrusting the steering wheel to me. =) tot it's quite a daring stunt for him~ haha..
got to prepare for tuition and cambodia liao. =) going to cambodia for mission trip to help with the villages churches. =) flying off tmr and will be back on wed (the day when weixiong and all will be touching down as well)
the God be the glory.
Monday, July 04, 2005
happy birthday huiying.. and jiwei
it's a erm.. SurRpriSe bdae celebration for hwing prepared by his bf (roy.. ) erm.. as usual, happy to see them again.. =) turning up and sayin Hi~ and catchin up.. =)
huawei says," moral of story? dun get gf who are turning 21, cos you have to plan for their 21st bdae cele.. haha. "
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Thursday, June 30, 2005
relief teaching...
slept at 4 and woke up at 730.. nope, not a grumpy morning.
cos i received a call from mrs chua to relief teach for the day..
i am just exhilarated. =)
it has been my dream to be a relief teacher.. erm.. just fun.. ahha.. but alhtough it's quite diff at times, to command and to even talk.. i think i have lost my voice slightly..
4 periods of PE and 4 periods of FEL (Foundation english lesson) yes.. i taught 2 classes of em3 students.. diff to get attention but i am pleased with myself.. well... it's my first try.. i realised, they are bunch of likeable kids.. some of them.. =) shant elaborate much.. but i want to jot down the gladness i have.. to be able to talk to students, and to have students greeting me.. and some students (from the previous excursion trip) to call me from afar "ernest!! wat u doin here.. "
well.. 1 boy cried in my PE lesson cos the other boy punched him.
1 girl cried in my p6 class! cos of erm.. girls quarrels..
1 boy almost cried cos he fell down.! from my p5 class..
haha. =)
took 2 periods of PE with p3.. so... games.. dog and bone.. haha.. =) cos i played that in pri sch too..
think will be glad, to have a few more rounds of teachings.. =)
when i was walkin out, "are you going to teach us english again tmr?" "no.." "huh? why...?" =)
when i was out, a p5 student,
"are you our PE teacher?"
"huh?you from 5B? i din teach 5b today.. i taught 5C."
"but tmr? are u our pe teacher tmr?"
"no.."
=) well.. not that they like me, but i am just happy to, erm.. engaged in conversations with children.. =)
cos i received a call from mrs chua to relief teach for the day..
i am just exhilarated. =)
it has been my dream to be a relief teacher.. erm.. just fun.. ahha.. but alhtough it's quite diff at times, to command and to even talk.. i think i have lost my voice slightly..
4 periods of PE and 4 periods of FEL (Foundation english lesson) yes.. i taught 2 classes of em3 students.. diff to get attention but i am pleased with myself.. well... it's my first try.. i realised, they are bunch of likeable kids.. some of them.. =) shant elaborate much.. but i want to jot down the gladness i have.. to be able to talk to students, and to have students greeting me.. and some students (from the previous excursion trip) to call me from afar "ernest!! wat u doin here.. "
well.. 1 boy cried in my PE lesson cos the other boy punched him.
1 girl cried in my p6 class! cos of erm.. girls quarrels..
1 boy almost cried cos he fell down.! from my p5 class..
haha. =)
took 2 periods of PE with p3.. so... games.. dog and bone.. haha.. =) cos i played that in pri sch too..
think will be glad, to have a few more rounds of teachings.. =)
when i was walkin out, "are you going to teach us english again tmr?" "no.." "huh? why...?" =)
when i was out, a p5 student,
"are you our PE teacher?"
"huh?you from 5B? i din teach 5b today.. i taught 5C."
"but tmr? are u our pe teacher tmr?"
"no.."
=) well.. not that they like me, but i am just happy to, erm.. engaged in conversations with children.. =)
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
thoughts
"it is hard to let go of the Past if you have not learnt from the past.. as soon as you learn, and let go, you improve the present.."
it seemed to have cast some light to my thoughts and sadness.. but, it's still not easy to do..
today, so chatted with some pple on msn.. suddenly realised that i dun like pple who enforce their apparent understanding on thigns and insert comments when it's just opinions.. i dun like imposing people.. yeah.. guess i jus found out.. but then again.. am i one of them? erm.. i think i have been tryin to be courteous and modest in askin favours.. but have i changed? yeap.. a bit. i think i have caught the disease of having erm.. so called green eyes. i longed for the relationship and closeness whereby things can be taken for granted.. but i have failed to be firmed on what i have believed last time --"farmilarity breeds contempt"..
think i have been refraining myself from blogging randomly for a period of time.. but heck it.. shall con't to write my senseless thoughts even before i move this blog..
today's prayer mtg's sharing by uj is very good.. i felt it.. felt God's constant remainder to ask me to be fervent in Him and not to be the tares, the evil figs, the unprepared virgins.. i think tues' prayer mtg sharing are all very appropriate for me.. it's short and sufficient.. like a daily devotion with a radio help.. often push me to deep thoughts and ponder..
in a daze today.. thinkin bout things which i can't pt to them.. acutally i can lah.. but not going to count them.. it's all erm.. senseless tings.. thinkin that i am alwyas at the wrong place, at the wrong time, wnating the wrong things from wrong pple.. school is starting, and will i be having a group of freinds in school?? will i be involed in nus?/ can i? i can bear to distant myself from shomerim?? but in the first place, many shomerims are distancing themselves.. and am i even close enough to anyone? trying to.. i guess?/ xiuyi, having friends and valuing them above many.. nth wrong to have friends, but i guess one day she will find that secular friends can not provide for her spiritual needs... i guess that is what i am thinkin bout.. find pple edifying and keepin in the faith.. but realli ?/ am i lookin for such pple? or am i more bout fun and people/?
i am not breakin down.. i am jus havin a lot of thoughts, just that they are penned down in words and they are written in this haphazard manner..
anyway, nick commented that the twins are exceptionally stress for sch kids. sec school should be fun and enjoyable.. but somehow, i can and i always think that it's very normal for the twins to be like that.. maybe somewhat my sec sch experience are similar..
thinkin back, ..
filled with revolutions, with mr yue trying to pit against mr kiw's pt of view.. and the whole thing bout prefects moving in two directions (baisheng in the firm stand of doing things right. and some pple doing things rightfully.. ) caught in between many projects in sec 1 (having 1 project for each subject.. !) especially enjoyed the history project (requiring us to collect data and surverys and fieldtrip in sec 1.. fun=)~!! each hols are filled to the max, one week of prefects camp, one week of orientation, one week for pri sch leaders' camp, one week for NACLI? youth challenge? or OBS . blah.. numerous chalets and outings and performances to attend to ... 12 gold medals from the cca groups.. throughout the year attending the gold medalist concerts.. yeap,.. thinkin back, it;'s fun to attend concerts.. and my friends are up there.. and towards the last years.. school trying to shape , i mean to re-shape their values.. to compete with top schools.. duh.. so competitive and commericial. mr yue trying to change the values of the school, blah blah.. power to the students.. and in the end? he left dunman and be the principal for chung cheng.. felt that dhs became a sacrifice for his acoomplishment.. but well. well.. that's not true.. cos no one can say what is right?? to change or not to change.. perception is different..
and yes.. so, i think have been 'stressed' with projects.. results, streams, programmes and catogory.. watever, but i guess the stress are there not as stress but part of the programme.. all will survive.. it's just erm.. part of the spices for us to look back and will realise that the spices acutally don't hurt and maybe we din't even remember the taste of the spices.. but will instead, be content and satisfied with the marvelous dishes we have eaten..
back to what do i want?/ erm.. i want to know what's ahead of me.. but i know i can't, so i hope to be submissive and be comforted and can be comforted by the fact that , i can be in His will.. and He will take care of me.. not easy.. struggling..
it seemed to have cast some light to my thoughts and sadness.. but, it's still not easy to do..
today, so chatted with some pple on msn.. suddenly realised that i dun like pple who enforce their apparent understanding on thigns and insert comments when it's just opinions.. i dun like imposing people.. yeah.. guess i jus found out.. but then again.. am i one of them? erm.. i think i have been tryin to be courteous and modest in askin favours.. but have i changed? yeap.. a bit. i think i have caught the disease of having erm.. so called green eyes. i longed for the relationship and closeness whereby things can be taken for granted.. but i have failed to be firmed on what i have believed last time --"farmilarity breeds contempt"..
think i have been refraining myself from blogging randomly for a period of time.. but heck it.. shall con't to write my senseless thoughts even before i move this blog..
today's prayer mtg's sharing by uj is very good.. i felt it.. felt God's constant remainder to ask me to be fervent in Him and not to be the tares, the evil figs, the unprepared virgins.. i think tues' prayer mtg sharing are all very appropriate for me.. it's short and sufficient.. like a daily devotion with a radio help.. often push me to deep thoughts and ponder..
in a daze today.. thinkin bout things which i can't pt to them.. acutally i can lah.. but not going to count them.. it's all erm.. senseless tings.. thinkin that i am alwyas at the wrong place, at the wrong time, wnating the wrong things from wrong pple.. school is starting, and will i be having a group of freinds in school?? will i be involed in nus?/ can i? i can bear to distant myself from shomerim?? but in the first place, many shomerims are distancing themselves.. and am i even close enough to anyone? trying to.. i guess?/ xiuyi, having friends and valuing them above many.. nth wrong to have friends, but i guess one day she will find that secular friends can not provide for her spiritual needs... i guess that is what i am thinkin bout.. find pple edifying and keepin in the faith.. but realli ?/ am i lookin for such pple? or am i more bout fun and people/?
i am not breakin down.. i am jus havin a lot of thoughts, just that they are penned down in words and they are written in this haphazard manner..
anyway, nick commented that the twins are exceptionally stress for sch kids. sec school should be fun and enjoyable.. but somehow, i can and i always think that it's very normal for the twins to be like that.. maybe somewhat my sec sch experience are similar..
thinkin back, ..
filled with revolutions, with mr yue trying to pit against mr kiw's pt of view.. and the whole thing bout prefects moving in two directions (baisheng in the firm stand of doing things right. and some pple doing things rightfully.. ) caught in between many projects in sec 1 (having 1 project for each subject.. !) especially enjoyed the history project (requiring us to collect data and surverys and fieldtrip in sec 1.. fun=)~!! each hols are filled to the max, one week of prefects camp, one week of orientation, one week for pri sch leaders' camp, one week for NACLI? youth challenge? or OBS . blah.. numerous chalets and outings and performances to attend to ... 12 gold medals from the cca groups.. throughout the year attending the gold medalist concerts.. yeap,.. thinkin back, it;'s fun to attend concerts.. and my friends are up there.. and towards the last years.. school trying to shape , i mean to re-shape their values.. to compete with top schools.. duh.. so competitive and commericial. mr yue trying to change the values of the school, blah blah.. power to the students.. and in the end? he left dunman and be the principal for chung cheng.. felt that dhs became a sacrifice for his acoomplishment.. but well. well.. that's not true.. cos no one can say what is right?? to change or not to change.. perception is different..
and yes.. so, i think have been 'stressed' with projects.. results, streams, programmes and catogory.. watever, but i guess the stress are there not as stress but part of the programme.. all will survive.. it's just erm.. part of the spices for us to look back and will realise that the spices acutally don't hurt and maybe we din't even remember the taste of the spices.. but will instead, be content and satisfied with the marvelous dishes we have eaten..
back to what do i want?/ erm.. i want to know what's ahead of me.. but i know i can't, so i hope to be submissive and be comforted and can be comforted by the fact that , i can be in His will.. and He will take care of me.. not easy.. struggling..
God ans prayers
just when i tot God is closing doors for me to apply for hostel (i dun have the passowrd and the OSA Nus is not responding to me.. etc. ) just when i tot it's not His will for me to stay in hostel, i received a letter from NUS to apply for grants and scholarships.. erm.. more imptly, the application number and password is there.~!
well. . wat i am going to do is not to rush into application.. will pray hard tonight... and see how tmr.. =)
thank God.
well. . wat i am going to do is not to rush into application.. will pray hard tonight... and see how tmr.. =)
thank God.
Monday, June 27, 2005
eca...
went to cafe cartel.. with bp, ty, joyce and jaslyn and meijie amos ed... but i sat with caleb, shuhui amos and ed..
it's as usual, that amos is doin the talkin and sharing his opinions and stuffs in army.. know that he's not having an easy time.. it;s not easy to work in a large organisation.. there can nv be fair treatment and they can never really properly judge and grade ur performance.. there's no projects even if there is, the achievements and gradings are very subjective... yeap.. tough life..
actually, watever he's sayin, i concurr and i think i am often sharing the same thoughts but the thing is, often i will question myself first.. then i will think bout wat's wrong.. to me, it seems that i am the one, the problem.. which is very often true also lah.. i mean, most of the time when you want to blame someone or comment on something, there is surely something that you arne't right or perfect as well.
school starting soon, and i am not lookin forward to it... why.. !
it's as usual, that amos is doin the talkin and sharing his opinions and stuffs in army.. know that he's not having an easy time.. it;s not easy to work in a large organisation.. there can nv be fair treatment and they can never really properly judge and grade ur performance.. there's no projects even if there is, the achievements and gradings are very subjective... yeap.. tough life..
actually, watever he's sayin, i concurr and i think i am often sharing the same thoughts but the thing is, often i will question myself first.. then i will think bout wat's wrong.. to me, it seems that i am the one, the problem.. which is very often true also lah.. i mean, most of the time when you want to blame someone or comment on something, there is surely something that you arne't right or perfect as well.
school starting soon, and i am not lookin forward to it... why.. !
Saturday, June 25, 2005
night cycling.
::group photo:: not very nice cos the camera, hha.. got a bit of prob.. haha
yeap, had fun cyclying from 10 pm 24Jun to 4am 25 Jun. yeap.. nice time cycling.. it's nice when you are not bothered by the wheels but the things around.. the people around and the companions you have. it's also a time tothink bout a lot of things, some of them are indeed things which i may be thinkin too much into it..
the trip can be more fun, if filled with more laughters and identity. but it's no doubt a nice trip with the good weather (thank God). and of cos the good turn out.. 30 pple =)
and honghao and bohao, tim and titus came to camp over my place.. tim din even sleep (just playing his game on ed's com and leave at 615!, alone cos titus refuse to wake up.. haah.. hong and bohao left at 730? around there.. to hitch a ride from beepheng.. =) nice night.. =)
::group 5 of the team:: why am i standing so far away from the rest? and i actually tot that i was too close to the person beside me.. is this reflecting my subconsciousness?
guo qu, hai shi zian zai
"看着他们长大，我却没有觉得自己老了，反而又跟他们一同再经历成长的过程，找回逝去或从来没有拥有过的时光。好像重新多活一次。" -- 某人的blog.
读了之后，我才了解自己的心态与想法。我想我也差不多。我似乎很缺乏成长，也没有什么过程可讲的。我似乎是一个人慢慢的长大的。所以现在很喜欢与他们一同再经历成长的过程，找回逝去或从来没有拥有过的时光。给自己机会重新多活一次。
可是,有一个故事却提醒我."如果你认为错过了过去,更应该把我现在." 我很像珍惜现在,可是却觉得无助,不知道如何不错过现在. 也许因为没有过去,所以和现在的朋友格格不入. 或也许是因为现在没有能力与别人得到共识,导致我错以为我是另类的,被排斥的.
我懂我再写什么吗?
读了之后，我才了解自己的心态与想法。我想我也差不多。我似乎很缺乏成长，也没有什么过程可讲的。我似乎是一个人慢慢的长大的。所以现在很喜欢与他们一同再经历成长的过程，找回逝去或从来没有拥有过的时光。给自己机会重新多活一次。
可是,有一个故事却提醒我."如果你认为错过了过去,更应该把我现在." 我很像珍惜现在,可是却觉得无助,不知道如何不错过现在. 也许因为没有过去,所以和现在的朋友格格不入. 或也许是因为现在没有能力与别人得到共识,导致我错以为我是另类的,被排斥的.
我懂我再写什么吗?
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
sat night
::saturday nite with the guys..::
couldn't and forgot to take pic with weiming.. paiseh..
it is supposed to be a mahjong at my house, ahaha. and thank God that now weiming etc arent seriously keen bout it already. that's good.. save my trouble of erm.. trying to compromise a bit here and there and stumbling others and myself. haha. =)
but it's a nice time hanging out with them.. so many years liao.. not easy.. soon, we will be in our diff ways.. (melbourne, london, bukit timah, boon lay, clementi.. )
well well well.. wat to say? i dun know.. =)
Monday, June 20, 2005
thank God for His ways
Romans 12:9-11
9Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
10Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
11Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
Oh, how much should i praise the Lord for His Word and instruction. never had i ever sat down and resolve issues in this hearty manner. to know that it's Lord's will for us to be loving and in honour, preferring one another and hence sitting together to share our thoughts is such a wise thing to do. surely we ought to follow the Bible's instruction, and not to allow any little leaven to remain within us. feel so good after being able to tell them what i am thinkin.
i think so far, i am th eonly one keeping thoughts from them.. maybe that's why the problem.. i admit that there's a prob or unhappiness cos i felt that i am being pointed at for being low eq due to all the happenings.. but well.. for that, the prob lies on me, cos if i am really bothered, then i am trying to hard to please men. yeap.. it;s my fault..
felt really great... cos i am largely dampen by the thought that i might not be able to behave as per normal anymore.. i mean.. who knows what they have to think bout me.. will be very hurt to know that all the friendship is being shaken and affected. well, at least i am very comfortable to move on and know that we are still brethrens, working and doing things all for the Lord. yeap... i felt sad cos i dun wish to lose the bonds, but i know .. if i try, they are still there..
9Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
10Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
11Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
Oh, how much should i praise the Lord for His Word and instruction. never had i ever sat down and resolve issues in this hearty manner. to know that it's Lord's will for us to be loving and in honour, preferring one another and hence sitting together to share our thoughts is such a wise thing to do. surely we ought to follow the Bible's instruction, and not to allow any little leaven to remain within us. feel so good after being able to tell them what i am thinkin.
i think so far, i am th eonly one keeping thoughts from them.. maybe that's why the problem.. i admit that there's a prob or unhappiness cos i felt that i am being pointed at for being low eq due to all the happenings.. but well.. for that, the prob lies on me, cos if i am really bothered, then i am trying to hard to please men. yeap.. it;s my fault..
felt really great... cos i am largely dampen by the thought that i might not be able to behave as per normal anymore.. i mean.. who knows what they have to think bout me.. will be very hurt to know that all the friendship is being shaken and affected. well, at least i am very comfortable to move on and know that we are still brethrens, working and doing things all for the Lord. yeap... i felt sad cos i dun wish to lose the bonds, but i know .. if i try, they are still there..
Friday, June 17, 2005
jun camp 05
strolling down the beach during short sieta time, running on the soft sands and talking to friends along the way.
thank God for the camp. and i pray that all of us will remain and friends, with memories sweet... recounting in when the saints gather home. or if, the Lord tarries, years down the road, recounting the bonds we have.
o, how i realli covet for that...
chuang wai xia qi yi zhen yu
零隆大雨。很久以前伟雄作剪报的时候对于这“新词”所做的解释是，形容雨势很大。哈哈。想当年。。。
窗外现在正下着零隆大雨。其实也没什么希奇的，只不过今天刚从church camp回来。心里有许多的抉择，有太多的东西不想再想，但即使不想，仍然逃不了。我想一切都是一种启示，指引我走我应该走的路。应该是 神的回应，让我知道我的定位。
今天应该睡一整天吧。也真该是时候找他们来一聚了。从我生日那天至今还未能与他们联系。。
应该是时候了。不让我想挽回不了了。
窗外现在正下着零隆大雨。其实也没什么希奇的，只不过今天刚从church camp回来。心里有许多的抉择，有太多的东西不想再想，但即使不想，仍然逃不了。我想一切都是一种启示，指引我走我应该走的路。应该是 神的回应，让我知道我的定位。
今天应该睡一整天吧。也真该是时候找他们来一聚了。从我生日那天至今还未能与他们联系。。
应该是时候了。不让我想挽回不了了。
if eq is more impt than answering to God, then, i wonder why. i dun mean it and i think it's just a few hard ways to get my prayers answered.
some things are never meant to be.. . at the end, the question still persists, persists about whether the company does matter or we can really focus on Christ. often, i am such a men-pleaser, and when i realise that i feel sucky. when i tried, and when i think that i am trying to please God, things turn bad and i feel bad as well. it's all bout me.. about me not true, maybe.
and i think this blog should moved. and it's urgent.
some things are never meant to be.. . at the end, the question still persists, persists about whether the company does matter or we can really focus on Christ. often, i am such a men-pleaser, and when i realise that i feel sucky. when i tried, and when i think that i am trying to please God, things turn bad and i feel bad as well. it's all bout me.. about me not true, maybe.
and i think this blog should moved. and it's urgent.
Monday, June 13, 2005
learning process
i lost my yellow notebook, the one which i took down messages for all the sundays, shomerim, tuesday prayer mtg and all! argh..
i intend to read thru the book and share them during the camp. too late. maybe God is asking me to start afresh...
feel quite unsure bout this camp. i think i am too ill informed. dun even feel like running the programme. felt that i am quite a puppet and i dun like it but can't be help. felt that i can be something else but welll it's set.
nevermind, i know the ultimate puppeteer behind all sceneS is God. okay.. rest my heart and allow myself to be lead. how can i know how? but i must do it. many of us, including me, have been praying for the camp and i know God will bless it for His name sake or for His purpose. all will be well... in His time and purpose.
while writing, i am still trying very hard... tryin hard to forget the things i am dwelling on and focus on camp.
i intend to read thru the book and share them during the camp. too late. maybe God is asking me to start afresh...
feel quite unsure bout this camp. i think i am too ill informed. dun even feel like running the programme. felt that i am quite a puppet and i dun like it but can't be help. felt that i can be something else but welll it's set.
nevermind, i know the ultimate puppeteer behind all sceneS is God. okay.. rest my heart and allow myself to be lead. how can i know how? but i must do it. many of us, including me, have been praying for the camp and i know God will bless it for His name sake or for His purpose. all will be well... in His time and purpose.
while writing, i am still trying very hard... tryin hard to forget the things i am dwelling on and focus on camp.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
cycling..
lime says that she's lacked of exercise(que fa yun dong), hence suggesting to go for a cycling trip. you might asked, doesn't she play tennis often? haha.. apparently, tengyan's balls are quite reckless and hence endanger her just-recovered eyes..
yeap, and my bro is having fun with his friends, so his bike is avail for me to use.. but sigh.. as you know, he is so much taller, so have to adjust his seat. then, forgot to tightened the screw before setting off, resulting in a flimsy seat. had a hard to cycling a bike without a seat (cos i really quite noob in cycling anyway)..
fortunately nick came to my rescue. he changed bike with me.. =)
oh ya.. back to my journey to the east.. after metres of cycling we reached pasir ris park.. climbed the web (the infamous spider web), and chat and talk and fellowship.. =)
yeap, and my bro is having fun with his friends, so his bike is avail for me to use.. but sigh.. as you know, he is so much taller, so have to adjust his seat. then, forgot to tightened the screw before setting off, resulting in a flimsy seat. had a hard to cycling a bike without a seat (cos i really quite noob in cycling anyway)..
fortunately nick came to my rescue. he changed bike with me.. =)
oh ya.. back to my journey to the east.. after metres of cycling we reached pasir ris park.. climbed the web (the infamous spider web), and chat and talk and fellowship.. =)
a night in sentosa
i think i have blogged too much in shomerimblog.. maybe i should start to record things in my own blog.. maybe those shomerim activities are jsut me.. ? not sure..
On the 9th June 2005:
On the 9th June 2005:
First of all, congrats to Daniel for passing out from BMT. haha... and he, trying to celebrate, as well as to catch some fun, had this bbq@sentosa. 
::yeap.. it's bbq time and that's honghao setting up the fire. a prelude to our June Camp Campfire Night.. 
::walking to the southernmost point of CONTINENTAL asia.. ..::
nice spot to look at the waves and talk and fellowship...
==
a night with the ya ya twins, trying to do their o level add maths and i cannot do quite a no of them! die lah.. going uni liao.. how?? ! felt that it's really a time of change recently. i guess all of them are growing up.. ya.. all of them.. my bro, the twins, even pple like ty, jiannan and nick are growing.. or changing.. and i am still here, resisting to change.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
reading blogs
enjoy reading blogs. allows me to think that i am not alone.
enjoy stumbling into blogs. there may be things i am interested in.
but i am very glad when pple invite me to their personal blog. feel that i have gained a friend.
enjoy stumbling into blogs. there may be things i am interested in.
but i am very glad when pple invite me to their personal blog. feel that i have gained a friend.
today
my day starts with breakfast with the kidz.. jeshua javan baoyan rachel esther. i am so glad that i asked to bring jeshua and javan, if not i would have been left alone on my own. haha.. the girls are so secretive and "sisters".. in other words --closed up. and now rachel and baoyan are like best friends of all..
and there's this big hussle and commotion trying to plan the cleaning duties cos ra wants to be with baoyan. children.. haha.. well, i can understand, i am stil half a child and i can remember the times when i was young.
but overall, like the feeling of doting children.. if they allow me too of cos.. =) esther is so diff to know.. she's like sometimes child-like and chatty and sometimes giving you that face only a rude adult will give you.. dun know take her as child or adult.. fan bai yan! argh..
--
then it's about church in the afternoon. felt stirred during the message. not really about the message content but about myself.. erm.. really felt that there's too much pride taken for the things that i am doing.. and i seemed to be doing them for vain glory and getting attention for myself.. ya.. i know i am wrong.. and i am seriously tryin to deal with my pride. may all glory be unto Him, the Great and Almighty One.
after chuch, felt quite restless, dun know what's next.. felt quite lost. dun know why.. and saw desmond, feeling that i am feeling the same way as him. there can be more friendship forged in the church. yes, as i was saying, i ought to remember Him to be my best Friend at all times but i think a close brethren is impt too.. well.. if He thinks and know that i really need one, i trust that He will give.
church camp is next week!! there's so much to finish and accomplish before then.. argh!!. must spend more time with God.
and shomerim, yah.. it's 22 people in the group today!! felt so happy to see that the the circle is big.. look at the pic! it's only taken from one angle so cannot see the full attendance but notice the big circle. heehee. truly, how i wish that the Lord will find us faithful.
Went to liangkiang's grandpa's wake. again, it's a test for him.. to be firm and not to participate with the rites and rituals.. i felt so bad cos i din't stay firm when i was in sec 1/2 when my grandma died. it's a testing and i failed it then..
i am so encouraged and feel erm.. happy for him. ya.. honghao actually willingly gave up to go for spec course to attend church camp. will i be like him in the same situation? at least i know, if i were in sec 3, i am not as zealous to live for my Lord. but i know i must catch up now and make up for the lost years of nominal christians. !
and there's this big hussle and commotion trying to plan the cleaning duties cos ra wants to be with baoyan. children.. haha.. well, i can understand, i am stil half a child and i can remember the times when i was young.
but overall, like the feeling of doting children.. if they allow me too of cos.. =) esther is so diff to know.. she's like sometimes child-like and chatty and sometimes giving you that face only a rude adult will give you.. dun know take her as child or adult.. fan bai yan! argh..
--
then it's about church in the afternoon. felt stirred during the message. not really about the message content but about myself.. erm.. really felt that there's too much pride taken for the things that i am doing.. and i seemed to be doing them for vain glory and getting attention for myself.. ya.. i know i am wrong.. and i am seriously tryin to deal with my pride. may all glory be unto Him, the Great and Almighty One.
after chuch, felt quite restless, dun know what's next.. felt quite lost. dun know why.. and saw desmond, feeling that i am feeling the same way as him. there can be more friendship forged in the church. yes, as i was saying, i ought to remember Him to be my best Friend at all times but i think a close brethren is impt too.. well.. if He thinks and know that i really need one, i trust that He will give.
church camp is next week!! there's so much to finish and accomplish before then.. argh!!. must spend more time with God.
and shomerim, yah.. it's 22 people in the group today!! felt so happy to see that the the circle is big.. look at the pic! it's only taken from one angle so cannot see the full attendance but notice the big circle. heehee. truly, how i wish that the Lord will find us faithful.
Went to liangkiang's grandpa's wake. again, it's a test for him.. to be firm and not to participate with the rites and rituals.. i felt so bad cos i din't stay firm when i was in sec 1/2 when my grandma died. it's a testing and i failed it then..
i am so encouraged and feel erm.. happy for him. ya.. honghao actually willingly gave up to go for spec course to attend church camp. will i be like him in the same situation? at least i know, if i were in sec 3, i am not as zealous to live for my Lord. but i know i must catch up now and make up for the lost years of nominal christians. !
Sunday, June 05, 2005
happy birthday roy~
dearest royston...
Happy 21st BirThday! friendz always!!~..
yeap.. tho we have diff lives and friends, and different route in life, i never fail to feel that you are my best friend each time we met. thanks for being a friend and happy birthday>~
ernest
---
yeap.. roy's bdae party at tamp safra ktv lounge. it's a party indeed where there's KTV in the hall and pool table (tho i din't play) and free flow of drinks, alcohol and non-alcohol. it's a total diff bdae cele from mine.. but of cos the cost is high. haha..
//and i stop and think, will i prefer his or mine. i think i will keep mine. his 21st birthday is so adult, with ktv and all, and that is something that i am not very keen to have.. adulthood? nope i am not celebrating adulthood, i am celebrating cos it's worth being happy.
and the group of friends? he has relatives (which i have excluded) and friends from army, jc, cca, sec sch and of cos pri school.. so nice to see him partying with his army friends/platoon mates, they are really a bunch of crazy guys boozing away.. and also with him, his friends.. i can feel that they are a close bunch of friends.. i guess, to me, he's another type of friend, a type of friend whom i will always remember to be my best friend from primary school. it's the ties that binds and the memories that holds. that loong time after, we will still take each other as friends more than acquaintance..
//then i stop to think again, thinking that it will be so nice if i had, erm.. maybe table tennis teammates or army camp mates to party with. people whom i have spent great deal of time going thru exciting events together... but i know i shouldn't think this way.. i thank God for giving me the friends that i have now.. no matter how distant they may seem to be, they are still my friends..
i may not have a party with lotsa yum-seng but i have a bbq with help from so many friends and shomerim celebrating with me. yesh.. counting my blessing..
excluding my relatives is smth which doesn't hurt me but i think it's quite a loss to my parents. i think it's really their joy to announce that their son is 21 already. yeap..
saw shevon, she's all grown up. just like my bro. feel so old. haha.
think that my bdae bbq is God-given. until the very last week i have not settle all my food and help came from tengyan and beepheng. and when i tot i have little friends to invite, i have shomerim and church to celebrate with me. thinking back, i really feel the sweetness from God.
and when i was envying roy having good and close friends around, i felt guitly again. cos i actually allow to forget my Friend, Lord Jesus, who has been with me all the time. i am so vulnerable to remember only physical tangible objects.
wanfen felt so at home over there, for she knows almost one person from each table.. from all over the places.. haha. and me? well.. i have small social circle. heeh. also stop to ponder what is the ernest that i want to be.. the one who says hi and bye to lots of people or the quiet, introvert me.. ? need to think bout and make a decision before uni aagain..
21 years old.. what's next?
Happy 21st BirThday! friendz always!!~..
yeap.. tho we have diff lives and friends, and different route in life, i never fail to feel that you are my best friend each time we met. thanks for being a friend and happy birthday>~
ernest
---
yeap.. roy's bdae party at tamp safra ktv lounge. it's a party indeed where there's KTV in the hall and pool table (tho i din't play) and free flow of drinks, alcohol and non-alcohol. it's a total diff bdae cele from mine.. but of cos the cost is high. haha..
//and i stop and think, will i prefer his or mine. i think i will keep mine. his 21st birthday is so adult, with ktv and all, and that is something that i am not very keen to have.. adulthood? nope i am not celebrating adulthood, i am celebrating cos it's worth being happy.
and the group of friends? he has relatives (which i have excluded) and friends from army, jc, cca, sec sch and of cos pri school.. so nice to see him partying with his army friends/platoon mates, they are really a bunch of crazy guys boozing away.. and also with him, his friends.. i can feel that they are a close bunch of friends.. i guess, to me, he's another type of friend, a type of friend whom i will always remember to be my best friend from primary school. it's the ties that binds and the memories that holds. that loong time after, we will still take each other as friends more than acquaintance..
//then i stop to think again, thinking that it will be so nice if i had, erm.. maybe table tennis teammates or army camp mates to party with. people whom i have spent great deal of time going thru exciting events together... but i know i shouldn't think this way.. i thank God for giving me the friends that i have now.. no matter how distant they may seem to be, they are still my friends..
i may not have a party with lotsa yum-seng but i have a bbq with help from so many friends and shomerim celebrating with me. yesh.. counting my blessing..
excluding my relatives is smth which doesn't hurt me but i think it's quite a loss to my parents. i think it's really their joy to announce that their son is 21 already. yeap..
saw shevon, she's all grown up. just like my bro. feel so old. haha.
think that my bdae bbq is God-given. until the very last week i have not settle all my food and help came from tengyan and beepheng. and when i tot i have little friends to invite, i have shomerim and church to celebrate with me. thinking back, i really feel the sweetness from God.
and when i was envying roy having good and close friends around, i felt guitly again. cos i actually allow to forget my Friend, Lord Jesus, who has been with me all the time. i am so vulnerable to remember only physical tangible objects.
wanfen felt so at home over there, for she knows almost one person from each table.. from all over the places.. haha. and me? well.. i have small social circle. heeh. also stop to ponder what is the ernest that i want to be.. the one who says hi and bye to lots of people or the quiet, introvert me.. ? need to think bout and make a decision before uni aagain..
21 years old.. what's next?
Friday, June 03, 2005
sentosa overnight trip
Sentosa Overnight Stay
some teacher from tnps was sick and couldn't make it for the trip n hence bee pheng ask me if i want to 'stand in' for her.. of cos i wnat to.. ! it sounds fun.
it's a pri school learning journey at sentosa's underwater world. reach there at bout 5 and there will be a trainer to present some facts etc.. about sharks.
then, they proceed to the underwaterworld for tour and facts learning followed by quiz. at night, we will stay in the underwaterworld, sleeping in the tunnel. =) cool sia.. it's like sleeping in a room full of aquariams and fish tank. i choose the spot beside a big tank! haha. quite cool!..
then the next day.. it's dolphin intereaction.. but i fell asleep during the show cos i was chatting with beepheng till bout 3! haha.. nice talk.. talkin bout church, people, children, keith and all.. fun.. haha..
and yes.. followed byt the touch the dolphin segment, which i think it's the best of all. took a picture.. will post as soon as i gotten the picture.. hehe. =)
nice time at sentosa!!
it's a nice trip, like an excursion.. and nice to see keith playing.. he's so adorable.. haha!. .
some teacher from tnps was sick and couldn't make it for the trip n hence bee pheng ask me if i want to 'stand in' for her.. of cos i wnat to.. ! it sounds fun.
it's a pri school learning journey at sentosa's underwater world. reach there at bout 5 and there will be a trainer to present some facts etc.. about sharks.
then, they proceed to the underwaterworld for tour and facts learning followed by quiz. at night, we will stay in the underwaterworld, sleeping in the tunnel. =) cool sia.. it's like sleeping in a room full of aquariams and fish tank. i choose the spot beside a big tank! haha. quite cool!..
then the next day.. it's dolphin intereaction.. but i fell asleep during the show cos i was chatting with beepheng till bout 3! haha.. nice talk.. talkin bout church, people, children, keith and all.. fun.. haha..
and yes.. followed byt the touch the dolphin segment, which i think it's the best of all. took a picture.. will post as soon as i gotten the picture.. hehe. =)
nice time at sentosa!!
it's a nice trip, like an excursion.. and nice to see keith playing.. he's so adorable.. haha!. .
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
21st birthday!~
Thank God for His provisions and that i can have my 21st bdae and its celebration.
the whole photo album
::the children, u.john and me.. ::
::dhssech 2h'98 friends~::
::shomerim!!~::
::my family::
::vjc 01S46 friends::
::dieppe barracks friends::
::jiapei, weiliang, jingyu~::
and yes.. i passed my driving.. finally! +=) thank God.
the whole photo album
::the children, u.john and me.. ::
::dhssech 2h'98 friends~::
::shomerim!!~::
::my family::
::vjc 01S46 friends::
::dieppe barracks friends::
::jiapei, weiliang, jingyu~::
and yes.. i passed my driving.. finally! +=) thank God.
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