today

my day starts with breakfast with the kidz.. jeshua javan baoyan rachel esther. i am so glad that i asked to bring jeshua and javan, if not i would have been left alone on my own. haha.. the girls are so secretive and "sisters".. in other words --closed up. and now rachel and baoyan are like best friends of all..

and there's this big hussle and commotion trying to plan the cleaning duties cos ra wants to be with baoyan. children.. haha.. well, i can understand, i am stil half a child and i can remember the times when i was young.

but overall, like the feeling of doting children.. if they allow me too of cos.. =) esther is so diff to know.. she's like sometimes child-like and chatty and sometimes giving you that face only a rude adult will give you.. dun know take her as child or adult.. fan bai yan! argh..




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then it's about church in the afternoon. felt stirred during the message. not really about the message content but about myself.. erm.. really felt that there's too much pride taken for the things that i am doing.. and i seemed to be doing them for vain glory and getting attention for myself.. ya.. i know i am wrong.. and i am seriously tryin to deal with my pride. may all glory be unto Him, the Great and Almighty One.

after chuch, felt quite restless, dun know what's next.. felt quite lost. dun know why.. and saw desmond, feeling that i am feeling the same way as him. there can be more friendship forged in the church. yes, as i was saying, i ought to remember Him to be my best Friend at all times but i think a close brethren is impt too.. well.. if He thinks and know that i really need one, i trust that He will give.

church camp is next week!! there's so much to finish and accomplish before then.. argh!!. must spend more time with God.

and shomerim, yah.. it's 22 people in the group today!! felt so happy to see that the the circle is big.. look at the pic! it's only taken from one angle so cannot see the full attendance but notice the big circle. heehee. truly, how i wish that the Lord will find us faithful.

Went to liangkiang's grandpa's wake. again, it's a test for him.. to be firm and not to participate with the rites and rituals.. i felt so bad cos i din't stay firm when i was in sec 1/2 when my grandma died. it's a testing and i failed it then..

i am so encouraged and feel erm.. happy for him. ya.. honghao actually willingly gave up to go for spec course to attend church camp. will i be like him in the same situation? at least i know, if i were in sec 3, i am not as zealous to live for my Lord. but i know i must catch up now and make up for the lost years of nominal christians. !