ok.. there's just to many things...
to many things to blog
to many things to do
to many things to plan
to many things to learn
to many things to correct
to many things to keep
to many things to try
to complete
to let go
to perfect
to tell
to forgive
to forget ...................
ok.. i am not going crazy. but there's just too many things to say.
1. con't with my website.
ok.. i wan to learn more skills. i wan to use flash etc. i wan to create something better than this. but? erm.. can i?
2. driving!! i wan to pass my driving asap! CAN I?
3. i wan to be more organise
too many holidays. too many deadlines. too high expectation of myself, too much ego to satisfy. wan to be capable. yet. sigh.. what to do?
4. skin! eczyma
this is really my fault. too impatient with my skin. i bathe too fast. apply my cream too much./too little. expect it to heal too fast. peeling off un-healed areas too soon..... sigh...
5. too many things to read
thanks to wilfred~ there's so many comics to read. i love them.. it is always so exciting no matter how tired i am.. but, i am most of the time too tired. i keep newspapers clips, telling myself that i wan to read them, but in the end? they just keep piling up! to much things and knowledge to gain. to many things that i am interested in... how?? i am not a superman.. am i?!
ok.. this is really true.
i wan to forgive and forget. if i cannot forgive my friends, my Father in heaven will also not forgive me and i do agree as well. i am not happy bearing grudges.. i wan to let go.. there's this evil thing call pride. teach me to let go and let off.. i wan to befriend with people again..
threre's still to many... incompleted treasure hunt concept. unfinished photo albums, undone website... sigh!!!!!!!!]
Monday, December 29, 2003
Sunday, December 28, 2003
haven blog for some time.
jerry says that i am letting my work affecting me.. i guess it is true. but i just can't help but to put in my best in work. i wan to assure myself that i am capable of work. however, the freq med appt and holidays are disrupting my workflow and causing me to miss my deadlines.. how? the year is ending and i yet i still have so much undone.
today, there's a farewell dinner for pastor. see if i can draw out a card for him today. ..
.
.
and anyway, i have the following wishes:
1. reconcile with my friends, weiming etc.
2. forgive and let go, stop being so petty
3. be discipline in my skin care. stop being lazy with the medication!
4. baptize next year.
5. and more to go......
jerry says that i am letting my work affecting me.. i guess it is true. but i just can't help but to put in my best in work. i wan to assure myself that i am capable of work. however, the freq med appt and holidays are disrupting my workflow and causing me to miss my deadlines.. how? the year is ending and i yet i still have so much undone.
today, there's a farewell dinner for pastor. see if i can draw out a card for him today. ..
.
.
and anyway, i have the following wishes:
1. reconcile with my friends, weiming etc.
2. forgive and let go, stop being so petty
3. be discipline in my skin care. stop being lazy with the medication!
4. baptize next year.
5. and more to go......
Saturday, December 20, 2003
travelling light
5 days of church camp in malaysia. many thoughts ran thru my head but unable to write it all down. there is really too many to think about and too many prompting in my head. again, i am trying to do so many things at one go.
let's start with my impressions/opinions/lessons learnt from the people:
Shiang Shinn: a person who is worldly streetwise. he is knowledgeable with infomation of the world. he has great exposure to things and have tried many. Seen many people due to his line (service line in electronic engr), been to places and know bout the norms and ways of people. Has a wife and a son. (Ai Ping and Daniel)
Rev Quek: a man of faith and sensitive to God's calling. love the Lord and protect His word. seemingly undaunted by attacks in the Word and hold dearly in his faith in God.
Meijie: just get to know that she has a bf, erm.. named nick? not sure.
Jiannan: he is good. although he has the lack of the ability to express himself fluently, i can feel his strength in the Lord. (i have thought, if i am weak in my job e.g. studying etc, will i still find comfort in the Lord that he is actually giving me the best.) but now, i know, God really works in our hearts. and i am sure jiannan has found comfort in God. compared to him, i am weak. my excuses are no excuses compared to him.
Joel: a clean-shaven, funky looking guy. ya.. he looks cool, like the yappies. din get the chance to know him better. but i know he's a sporty, out-going person. i guess, athletic persons are normally more positive. (nowonder i am so pessimistic.. haha..)
Isaac/keturah: a couple. they have 2 sons, jeshua and javan. yet, it seems to me that their courtship times isn't very long ago. suddenly, i feel that i may be reaching his life stages very soon. haha.. dun know why. when i get to know that they were pri sch mates, and jc mates.. it sounds so familiar to me. it sound as if it is just a few years away only. not sure why is that so, just a feeling..
jeshua: a very pleasant kid. comparing him with javan, javan, being younger definitely looks cuter. but, when you talk to them, you see his "mature" behavior, you will see him to be so adorable. a fine gentleman to be.
javan: a menace to people, haven to me. hyperactive may be an understatement. but i can really understand him. i am justify for him that being talkative, over-inquisitive etc is nothing wrong. remembering that i was like him. (thinking back, i guess i was more happy to be that confident me who was willing to ask anything.)
amos: i guess he is definitely eligible to be my elder brother, yet he also behaves like teens.. dun really understand what is he like.
teck beng: (judging from the merger discussion) he's a person who also dun express himself well with words. but because he's so amiable, he is a big brother to the care-and-share members. a big brother to be identified with to learn from for some people. can see that he is stressful in his work. he shows to me that no matter how old do i start to commit my life to God, it's the same. same trials and testings....
-married to shufen, and behaves like a courting couple. haha.. and they definitely look young.
josiah: haha.. lookin at his attempts to assume leadership positions, his 2-cents worth of comments during discussions, tries to bring a group discussion to a conclusion, REMINDS me of my experience in sec sch days. those were the days that i also would be very willing to undertake leadership roles.. enjoying being nominated or just joked bout my appointments.. (well, again, it's years back since then)
tengyan: a typical sporty guy, who goes for sports and adventure and experiences. having confidence in his own psychomoto skills. likes to lead a group to attain goals. seems to be all geered to be in NS. haha.. erm.. maybe a typical poly guy. a typical poly guy supposed to be more streetwise and eq.
shuhui: emotional, subjective. . .
john: a person trying to live his life for the Lord in the difficulties of balancing with his normal (secular) activites. have a family to look after, daughters to teach and many items to take care of..
jhoon: erm.. aloof. (haha.. that's my subjective opinion). or maybe, it i who aren't humble enough to draw experience from adults.
alan: erm. dun know.
joelson: well.. it's a like a mirror for me NOT to be emulate. i may be bad to say this but i am trying to be ALL not like him. i am especially worried cos i do have his traits.. pessimistic, in his world, his own theology, most imptly, trying hard to get accepted yet worrisome bout people advances to know him better.
eddie: my buddy (supposedly) din get to know him well really. too bad
karen: eddie's wife, desmond's mother. ya.. same as above.
li mei: erm.. er.. ok lha.. haha.. surely, she talks like she is unhappy/ angry.
lingqin: erm.. she is on good terms with limei, kinda emulating her bahavior at times lor.. haha..
daniel: my room mate. impressed by his conviction in Christ. talk a bit during the nite. understand that he does have his own set of thinkings about the church e.g. the merging thing, pastor's leave. but he's so poor thing to suffer stomach upset for dayS.
nick: ---
honghao.bohao: a pair of interesting twins. i really think they, though differs in characters, converging in their preferences and common sense. it must be an eventful life for them to have a twin brother. haha.. they are sec 2 next year, in tchs. having attributes that i wish i have but i guess i shouldn't be thiking bout that. (reason: i have passed my time to be like them.) how is it nice to be in sec 1. to be like them,.. okok.. i am thinknin back my dhs days.
pastor: though i haven't know him long. his departure really touched me. his thanksgiving item, the song he sang, actually can caused me to tear. i see in him the tiredness labouring for Christ all the years. God bless him
miss leow.rachel.ezra: haven been talking to them. by right, miss leow should be my confidant and mentor when i struggle, but whenever i approaches her in the light of possible spiritual talk, the atmosphere, her speech seems to have caused me to turn away. i know that she is holding to God's word dearly, so much so that, she isn't erm.. much bothered by the human crowd. or the need to be in human crowd. One thing bout her: she thinks about things, and always hesitate to share to people, and yet there's a need for her to share in her heart. yu4 yan3 you4 zhi3. i should take note as well, i am behaving like that many times.. must correct myself.
let's start with my impressions/opinions/lessons learnt from the people:
Shiang Shinn: a person who is worldly streetwise. he is knowledgeable with infomation of the world. he has great exposure to things and have tried many. Seen many people due to his line (service line in electronic engr), been to places and know bout the norms and ways of people. Has a wife and a son. (Ai Ping and Daniel)
Rev Quek: a man of faith and sensitive to God's calling. love the Lord and protect His word. seemingly undaunted by attacks in the Word and hold dearly in his faith in God.
Meijie: just get to know that she has a bf, erm.. named nick? not sure.
Jiannan: he is good. although he has the lack of the ability to express himself fluently, i can feel his strength in the Lord. (i have thought, if i am weak in my job e.g. studying etc, will i still find comfort in the Lord that he is actually giving me the best.) but now, i know, God really works in our hearts. and i am sure jiannan has found comfort in God. compared to him, i am weak. my excuses are no excuses compared to him.
Joel: a clean-shaven, funky looking guy. ya.. he looks cool, like the yappies. din get the chance to know him better. but i know he's a sporty, out-going person. i guess, athletic persons are normally more positive. (nowonder i am so pessimistic.. haha..)
Isaac/keturah: a couple. they have 2 sons, jeshua and javan. yet, it seems to me that their courtship times isn't very long ago. suddenly, i feel that i may be reaching his life stages very soon. haha.. dun know why. when i get to know that they were pri sch mates, and jc mates.. it sounds so familiar to me. it sound as if it is just a few years away only. not sure why is that so, just a feeling..
jeshua: a very pleasant kid. comparing him with javan, javan, being younger definitely looks cuter. but, when you talk to them, you see his "mature" behavior, you will see him to be so adorable. a fine gentleman to be.
javan: a menace to people, haven to me. hyperactive may be an understatement. but i can really understand him. i am justify for him that being talkative, over-inquisitive etc is nothing wrong. remembering that i was like him. (thinking back, i guess i was more happy to be that confident me who was willing to ask anything.)
amos: i guess he is definitely eligible to be my elder brother, yet he also behaves like teens.. dun really understand what is he like.
teck beng: (judging from the merger discussion) he's a person who also dun express himself well with words. but because he's so amiable, he is a big brother to the care-and-share members. a big brother to be identified with to learn from for some people. can see that he is stressful in his work. he shows to me that no matter how old do i start to commit my life to God, it's the same. same trials and testings....
-married to shufen, and behaves like a courting couple. haha.. and they definitely look young.
josiah: haha.. lookin at his attempts to assume leadership positions, his 2-cents worth of comments during discussions, tries to bring a group discussion to a conclusion, REMINDS me of my experience in sec sch days. those were the days that i also would be very willing to undertake leadership roles.. enjoying being nominated or just joked bout my appointments.. (well, again, it's years back since then)
tengyan: a typical sporty guy, who goes for sports and adventure and experiences. having confidence in his own psychomoto skills. likes to lead a group to attain goals. seems to be all geered to be in NS. haha.. erm.. maybe a typical poly guy. a typical poly guy supposed to be more streetwise and eq.
shuhui: emotional, subjective. . .
john: a person trying to live his life for the Lord in the difficulties of balancing with his normal (secular) activites. have a family to look after, daughters to teach and many items to take care of..
jhoon: erm.. aloof. (haha.. that's my subjective opinion). or maybe, it i who aren't humble enough to draw experience from adults.
alan: erm. dun know.
joelson: well.. it's a like a mirror for me NOT to be emulate. i may be bad to say this but i am trying to be ALL not like him. i am especially worried cos i do have his traits.. pessimistic, in his world, his own theology, most imptly, trying hard to get accepted yet worrisome bout people advances to know him better.
eddie: my buddy (supposedly) din get to know him well really. too bad
karen: eddie's wife, desmond's mother. ya.. same as above.
li mei: erm.. er.. ok lha.. haha.. surely, she talks like she is unhappy/ angry.
lingqin: erm.. she is on good terms with limei, kinda emulating her bahavior at times lor.. haha..
daniel: my room mate. impressed by his conviction in Christ. talk a bit during the nite. understand that he does have his own set of thinkings about the church e.g. the merging thing, pastor's leave. but he's so poor thing to suffer stomach upset for dayS.
nick: ---
honghao.bohao: a pair of interesting twins. i really think they, though differs in characters, converging in their preferences and common sense. it must be an eventful life for them to have a twin brother. haha.. they are sec 2 next year, in tchs. having attributes that i wish i have but i guess i shouldn't be thiking bout that. (reason: i have passed my time to be like them.) how is it nice to be in sec 1. to be like them,.. okok.. i am thinknin back my dhs days.
pastor: though i haven't know him long. his departure really touched me. his thanksgiving item, the song he sang, actually can caused me to tear. i see in him the tiredness labouring for Christ all the years. God bless him
miss leow.rachel.ezra: haven been talking to them. by right, miss leow should be my confidant and mentor when i struggle, but whenever i approaches her in the light of possible spiritual talk, the atmosphere, her speech seems to have caused me to turn away. i know that she is holding to God's word dearly, so much so that, she isn't erm.. much bothered by the human crowd. or the need to be in human crowd. One thing bout her: she thinks about things, and always hesitate to share to people, and yet there's a need for her to share in her heart. yu4 yan3 you4 zhi3. i should take note as well, i am behaving like that many times.. must correct myself.
Monday, December 15, 2003
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
on a bus trip home, i saw gurmit tearing. and many artistes tearing with him. too bad i dun have my earpiece with me and tvmobile wasn't loud enough. all i now is that he must have sad something significant. many people cries for this event, but i am sure it is not plain over-excitment for gurmit.
http://www.ahleck.swissnikira.com/archives/000354.html
read the above, and i roughly realised what's really happeningl. and what is so invoking bout his speech is that 100% truth in what he said.
"If i don'e smile as much as i used to, would you weep along with me? Not really needed lar...but it's better than not understanding what i am going through at all. If i don't join you for outings...don't use emotional blackmail on me because it's not going to work."
some people just wan to be alone in times of despair... like gurmit.
but i think for me, i will appear as if i wan to be alone, but yet hoping for friends to approach. what is worse? when they approach, i will elude from concerns. i also dun understand myself.
http://www.ahleck.swissnikira.com/archives/000354.html
read the above, and i roughly realised what's really happeningl. and what is so invoking bout his speech is that 100% truth in what he said.
"If i don'e smile as much as i used to, would you weep along with me? Not really needed lar...but it's better than not understanding what i am going through at all. If i don't join you for outings...don't use emotional blackmail on me because it's not going to work."
some people just wan to be alone in times of despair... like gurmit.
but i think for me, i will appear as if i wan to be alone, but yet hoping for friends to approach. what is worse? when they approach, i will elude from concerns. i also dun understand myself.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Galvin
Galvin
http://www.swissnikira.com/
http://cannon.threeone.net/
"Perhaps that is why I've started keeping an online journal since my junior college days when technology enabled me to do so... such was the joy of writing: to look up new words... to mimic styles of writing that didn't spring forth from within... to conjure up seemingly incomprehensible sentences that sounded perfectly... incomprehensible. There was a time when I even tried venturing into script writing and serious expositories... in all these I found myself trying to match up to certain levels of writing... to people whom I deem are good writers." --quoted from somewhere(galvin)
wondering why am i keeping a blog. i guess i also enjoy the fun of writing, scribling thoughts which are running across my head hapzardly using my mediocre language and expressions, struggling and earnestly trying to make myself known and understood.
matthew's webpage led me to many homepages. got this feeling that i have missed out a lot of fun. regret not learning as much as i should in school, bout webpages. i wasn't actively involved in sports which most of my friends are. i thought i was out of place. maybe i should have found myself a place in the Net long ago. but now.. just trying to make up for my time lost.
yes. really made up my mind to learn more bout webpages. why am i not learning something which i am really interested in.
anyway, this version 2.0 of my webpage is too restrictive. hard to expand, hard to insert add-ons. better start my ver 3.0 sooon!. ya..
blogger.com seems to be down. cannot get to the page. so, here am i, blogger into my email temporary..
i guess i am addicted, addicted to the the joy of writing. DATED 071203(blog wan down yesterday)
http://www.swissnikira.com/
http://cannon.threeone.net/
"Perhaps that is why I've started keeping an online journal since my junior college days when technology enabled me to do so... such was the joy of writing: to look up new words... to mimic styles of writing that didn't spring forth from within... to conjure up seemingly incomprehensible sentences that sounded perfectly... incomprehensible. There was a time when I even tried venturing into script writing and serious expositories... in all these I found myself trying to match up to certain levels of writing... to people whom I deem are good writers." --quoted from somewhere(galvin)
wondering why am i keeping a blog. i guess i also enjoy the fun of writing, scribling thoughts which are running across my head hapzardly using my mediocre language and expressions, struggling and earnestly trying to make myself known and understood.
matthew's webpage led me to many homepages. got this feeling that i have missed out a lot of fun. regret not learning as much as i should in school, bout webpages. i wasn't actively involved in sports which most of my friends are. i thought i was out of place. maybe i should have found myself a place in the Net long ago. but now.. just trying to make up for my time lost.
yes. really made up my mind to learn more bout webpages. why am i not learning something which i am really interested in.
anyway, this version 2.0 of my webpage is too restrictive. hard to expand, hard to insert add-ons. better start my ver 3.0 sooon!. ya..
blogger.com seems to be down. cannot get to the page. so, here am i, blogger into my email temporary..
i guess i am addicted, addicted to the the joy of writing. DATED 071203(blog wan down yesterday)
Saturday, December 06, 2003
blurdream's 2nd den
blurdream's 2nd denif anyone is seeing this blog, please visit the link instead. thanks. cos that's my real page. not blurdream.blogspot.com ~
finally, i have embarked on my 2nd webpage. using the idiot-proof method of referring to instruction and step by step procedures. i din't even tried the shading and 3D creation. just trying to get a plain html this time.
results? = blurdream's 2nd den well, it's not fantastic, but i have started, and i will give myself a pat. will con't my learning, i hope. but somehow i dun think it will last. it's too hard for me to be proficient in it. i can, at most, reach erm.. intermediate. ya.
ok.. i am tired. time to work, working on my sec 4 a maths papers.. sigh..
i have an aim, that is to be a good boy from today onwards.. ya. ! :)
finally, i have embarked on my 2nd webpage. using the idiot-proof method of referring to instruction and step by step procedures. i din't even tried the shading and 3D creation. just trying to get a plain html this time.
results? = blurdream's 2nd den well, it's not fantastic, but i have started, and i will give myself a pat. will con't my learning, i hope. but somehow i dun think it will last. it's too hard for me to be proficient in it. i can, at most, reach erm.. intermediate. ya.
ok.. i am tired. time to work, working on my sec 4 a maths papers.. sigh..
i have an aim, that is to be a good boy from today onwards.. ya. ! :)
Friday, December 05, 2003
...
office is short of 3 GS tables.. thinking of ways to solve.. but in vain.
conduct sheet sent to NMTB kanna rejected again! sian
DyCGO email me again about RO suggestions, as if i am the RO clerk. sigh..
my OA account down again.. has been frequent recently! why>?
going to teach mrs seet's daughter soon, how to go bout it?
questions and problems.. i hope to solve them all before i go on leave! dun wish to have a burdened holiday. ya.. that's my prayer item now. ~
gtg.. going for that hari raya function now.. seeya
conduct sheet sent to NMTB kanna rejected again! sian
DyCGO email me again about RO suggestions, as if i am the RO clerk. sigh..
my OA account down again.. has been frequent recently! why>?
going to teach mrs seet's daughter soon, how to go bout it?
questions and problems.. i hope to solve them all before i go on leave! dun wish to have a burdened holiday. ya.. that's my prayer item now. ~
gtg.. going for that hari raya function now.. seeya
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
cmpb despatch...
long time ago, ermm.. i mean earlier this year. i tot cmpb trip will be fun cos can meet up with leonard, matt, situ, victor or whoever. but but but.. in the end, they are normally too busy or too "camoflaged" to meet me. end up with a hi-bye only, and to matt only(normally) :( well.. things aren't as expected, as usual.
will be really nice to know them better. ~
will be really nice to know them better. ~
busy/tired
today i have a lunch out with fong and tian. well, i must say it is a privilege. just hope that i will not lose favour lor.. (seeing the amt of cock up i may have.. haha..)
RO is done and sent out by me again, specially designed to suit DyCGO's taste today. Hopefully i will not received an email tmr being suaned or anything. presently, i feel that there's many errors in RO. i just cannot forget bout my work after knocking off lor.. ok, it's unhealthy and affects my performance. must improve.
indeed, it's end of the year.. a fresh year coming ahead. let's take time and effort to resolute bout next year and end this year with a sweet seal~
hope all may be well tmr, tks.
RO is done and sent out by me again, specially designed to suit DyCGO's taste today. Hopefully i will not received an email tmr being suaned or anything. presently, i feel that there's many errors in RO. i just cannot forget bout my work after knocking off lor.. ok, it's unhealthy and affects my performance. must improve.
indeed, it's end of the year.. a fresh year coming ahead. let's take time and effort to resolute bout next year and end this year with a sweet seal~
hope all may be well tmr, tks.
Sunday, November 30, 2003
2.3-liners ~
really wish to get to know people better, but still holding on to my introvert self.
ask people to guess my age.. and their guess? one score, min. and they feel that there's a G-gap between us, when i am in my teens still.
comtemplating to take my steriods again. but yet unwilling to fall back on drugs.
~let's see how it goes.. hope tmr will be fine. All be well, please~. tks.
ask people to guess my age.. and their guess? one score, min. and they feel that there's a G-gap between us, when i am in my teens still.
comtemplating to take my steriods again. but yet unwilling to fall back on drugs.
~let's see how it goes.. hope tmr will be fine. All be well, please~. tks.
Saturday, November 29, 2003
imagine2.5 :: shot through the monitor
imagine2.5 :: shot through the monitor read matthew's blog.. most specifically, his achives. read a few entries and i got a picture of matt. his writing reveals him. that is what a blog should be, to let pple know him. wish that i get to know him earlier.
he is another person, behaving like a passing traveller in this strange world.
he is another person, behaving like a passing traveller in this strange world.
Friday, November 28, 2003
bike hike ii
...0030hrs... arrived at ang mo kio. had a supper blangah by amos. (tks amos~) and talk talk till erm.. near 0200hrs....
during the talk, heard from amos bout his job, his first and past few job experience. it's an eye-opener for me who has not worked at all. and they con't to talk about motorbikes. oh man, they are all 2/3 years younger than me lor. and yet they are talkin bout something that i am still blur about. we do have different childhood.
they just finished their Os. and they are find jobs. that's another thing that i have never done so far. nv have the chance to find jobs. all of them are the type of people i see in camp. the type of people i haven't associate with before in vj/dhs.
0200hrs... on our way back to tampines.. along the way, an event i tot only exists in enid blyton stories happened. a cute little puppy is trapped in the drain. Joel, tried to rescue it out. after much tries, it came out. and it start to sniff its way around. it is really tempting to adopt cos it is really cute and we dun wish to leave it alone. it might just dash across the road and get killed. ~ well.. in the end, we have to leave it alone..
along old tampines road... my tyre punctured! oh man.. it is so saddening.. it is in the middle of old tampines. how? left the bike locked at a bus stop lor. and daniel rode me back~ believe me.. i am really feeling very guilty. furthermore, cos my bike is locked and i cannot find the key, the bike i used was tengyan's father's bike.! double guilt
reached tampines at ~0330hrs.. AMos said,"aiyah. that's how a bike hike can possibly turn out lor.. that is the fun. if you have taken a cab to fetch the bike back, there will be one man down. then it is not a bike hike liao.. if it happens to any other people, someone else will also rode him back home.. " ya.. i guess i dun know behave in big group of guys. i guess this is boyhood and how we behave when we play together as big boys.
(my childhood friends are all gals.. playing gal games.. haha.. grew up in pri sch to be "si wen" so dun play soccer etc.. results? the ernest today)
bike hike... FUN>
during the talk, heard from amos bout his job, his first and past few job experience. it's an eye-opener for me who has not worked at all. and they con't to talk about motorbikes. oh man, they are all 2/3 years younger than me lor. and yet they are talkin bout something that i am still blur about. we do have different childhood.
they just finished their Os. and they are find jobs. that's another thing that i have never done so far. nv have the chance to find jobs. all of them are the type of people i see in camp. the type of people i haven't associate with before in vj/dhs.
0200hrs... on our way back to tampines.. along the way, an event i tot only exists in enid blyton stories happened. a cute little puppy is trapped in the drain. Joel, tried to rescue it out. after much tries, it came out. and it start to sniff its way around. it is really tempting to adopt cos it is really cute and we dun wish to leave it alone. it might just dash across the road and get killed. ~ well.. in the end, we have to leave it alone..
along old tampines road... my tyre punctured! oh man.. it is so saddening.. it is in the middle of old tampines. how? left the bike locked at a bus stop lor. and daniel rode me back~ believe me.. i am really feeling very guilty. furthermore, cos my bike is locked and i cannot find the key, the bike i used was tengyan's father's bike.! double guilt
reached tampines at ~0330hrs.. AMos said,"aiyah. that's how a bike hike can possibly turn out lor.. that is the fun. if you have taken a cab to fetch the bike back, there will be one man down. then it is not a bike hike liao.. if it happens to any other people, someone else will also rode him back home.. " ya.. i guess i dun know behave in big group of guys. i guess this is boyhood and how we behave when we play together as big boys.
(my childhood friends are all gals.. playing gal games.. haha.. grew up in pri sch to be "si wen" so dun play soccer etc.. results? the ernest today)
bike hike... FUN>
bike hike
after the bike hike, i wonder ... wonder what was the fun that i had. am i missing out some possible fun in life.
2045hrs. jiannan called and say, "ernest, sorry leh, i will be late cos my dad took my bike and i dun know where is he. pls tell them later when they gather at your block." gather at my blk? ok... so, quickly packed and turn up for the bike hike. my bag has: 1. spanner 2. catlight 3. masking tape 4.water bottle.
2110hrs. at my life lobby. tengyan shew up. followed by liang kiang, billy, joel and daniel. moved off to meet amos at the esso station (he's pumping his tyre). joelson turned up. after some "gear polishing" at uncle teck beng. we embarked on our journey. our journey to AnG Mo KiO.
2230hrs... a line of 8 cyclists moved off.. to tampines ave 7 to old tampines road, to hougang, and then to ang mo kio.. up and down the slopes.. what i can say is.. it is FUN.. the kind of fun you derived from a game of bball, run, etc..
0030hrs... arrived at ang mo kio. had a supper blangah by amos. (tks amos~) and talk talk till erm.. near 0200hrs.
---- knocked out.. still need to work one hour later---
2045hrs. jiannan called and say, "ernest, sorry leh, i will be late cos my dad took my bike and i dun know where is he. pls tell them later when they gather at your block." gather at my blk? ok... so, quickly packed and turn up for the bike hike. my bag has: 1. spanner 2. catlight 3. masking tape 4.water bottle.
2110hrs. at my life lobby. tengyan shew up. followed by liang kiang, billy, joel and daniel. moved off to meet amos at the esso station (he's pumping his tyre). joelson turned up. after some "gear polishing" at uncle teck beng. we embarked on our journey. our journey to AnG Mo KiO.
2230hrs... a line of 8 cyclists moved off.. to tampines ave 7 to old tampines road, to hougang, and then to ang mo kio.. up and down the slopes.. what i can say is.. it is FUN.. the kind of fun you derived from a game of bball, run, etc..
0030hrs... arrived at ang mo kio. had a supper blangah by amos. (tks amos~) and talk talk till erm.. near 0200hrs.
---- knocked out.. still need to work one hour later---
Monday, November 24, 2003
Care Bear
 | Grumpy Bear |
i guess i am grumbling too much. i agree. ehy~ it's time to get off your grumpy mood. "please ernest, get back to your friends. stop being a loner. you know you need your friends" but then again, there's something that i cannot leave behind. i guess it is that worthless pride or erm.. more accurately, just simply my stubornness. when will i learn. time to move on. but how?
Friday, November 21, 2003
hobbes
"Calvin sees Hobbes one way, and everyone else sees Hobbes another way. I show two versions of reality, and each makes complete sense to the participant who sees it. I think that's how life works. None of us sees the world in exactly the same way , and I just draw that literally in the strip. Hobbes is more about the subjective nature of reality that about dolls coming to life." --bill watterson
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
neo and mr anderson
The Matrix Revolutions i have finally watch this big-time movie. This must-catch movie. Watch it cos it's an event movie, also to end the trilogy. but after the movie, i dun seem to get much conclusions about the matrix. say that i am stupid but i just link up the info. i still cannot make sense out of it, though i have link up some info, using my imagination.
unfortunately for matrix, after reading reviews online, i have somehow concurred with their criticism. but still.. let's give revolution a thumb up for nice actions and graphics. i do enjoy its matrixian action. hehe..
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enough bout revolution.. talk bout work.. hmm.. all my cock-ups being tolerated so far.. dun know how many cock-ups can mrs seet from me. hope i can improve. dun wish to be black-listed. hehe.. also, i must really make use of mark while he's around to establish my working system, filing system etc.. ya.. that will really make my job easier. hehe..
--------------
i know exams are going to be over... soon enough. all the best to them.. who are taking exams. and ya, i have decided to go for m'sia trip with my church. taking my off and leaves from dec 15-19. hehe.. finally a break.
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aLL the BeST tmR~ ernest, less cock-ups pls.. tks.
unfortunately for matrix, after reading reviews online, i have somehow concurred with their criticism. but still.. let's give revolution a thumb up for nice actions and graphics. i do enjoy its matrixian action. hehe..
-------------
enough bout revolution.. talk bout work.. hmm.. all my cock-ups being tolerated so far.. dun know how many cock-ups can mrs seet from me. hope i can improve. dun wish to be black-listed. hehe.. also, i must really make use of mark while he's around to establish my working system, filing system etc.. ya.. that will really make my job easier. hehe..
--------------
i know exams are going to be over... soon enough. all the best to them.. who are taking exams. and ya, i have decided to go for m'sia trip with my church. taking my off and leaves from dec 15-19. hehe.. finally a break.
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aLL the BeST tmR~ ernest, less cock-ups pls.. tks.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
change of font
as mentioned, changed the font to something more pleasing. cos i got a headache reading my own blog. haha.. news update
Monday, November 17, 2003
...
guy albert
19/m/175, good looking, smart, eligible. in a relationships for around 4 years. he's sad. he thinks that his life is revolving around his gf and feels bad neglecting his friends. no one ask bout his relationships. hence he feels that his friends are not interested in his life. so, he spends more time with his gf, since that's the way other people would expect him to do.
guy bertrum
19/m/165. a normal guy who dun make the initial approach. reserved and shy. he feels that no one will likes him. so, he tries hard to know more friends, to go out with them. all these to drive his boredom away, all these to hid his desires to be atttached. he treats albert to be his good/best friend, and expect him to tell him bout his relationships automatically. however, albert din. hence he felt that albert wasn't treating him as his good friend. he wish that fred will know that he had hurt his feelings but without telling, fred knows nothing.
he dun say hi to dennis until dennis says hi. cos he always feels that other pple are more busy than him. his any attempt to say hi will cause them to be irritated.
gal cherly
18/f/160. single and available. found her senior to be quite cute. dreams of a romantic relationship to happen to her. she wishes that the senior she likes will approach her and ask her out. she wishes.
she would like to know bertrum better. but he appears to be more interested in his friends than her. so, she gave up the idea.
guy dennis
19/f/176. single. good looking, eligible. he seems to have all it takes to be good catch for all gals. he talks to gals and makes them happy. however, he longs for a girl who will love him truely. but he dun know who is that girl. he wish that a girl will tell him that she likes him. however, most of the gals think that he's already attached so he's too good a catch.
one day, he feels that he's always the saying hi to pple first. he feels that he is not "highly demanded by his friends"
gal eunice
19/f/165. single. reserved. she wishes for someone to love her dearly. but pple thinks that she is too cold to approach.
guy fred
19/m/170. single. typical guy who is capable of playing games and games alone to spend the weekend. has friends. he feels that guy friendship is something like a brotherhood, once a friend, always a friend. one day, he said something which hurts his friend, bertrum, a lot. being a straightforth person, he thought that over time, those indeliberate comments will not hurt their friendship. however, bertrum is grudging against him.
19/m/175, good looking, smart, eligible. in a relationships for around 4 years. he's sad. he thinks that his life is revolving around his gf and feels bad neglecting his friends. no one ask bout his relationships. hence he feels that his friends are not interested in his life. so, he spends more time with his gf, since that's the way other people would expect him to do.
guy bertrum
19/m/165. a normal guy who dun make the initial approach. reserved and shy. he feels that no one will likes him. so, he tries hard to know more friends, to go out with them. all these to drive his boredom away, all these to hid his desires to be atttached. he treats albert to be his good/best friend, and expect him to tell him bout his relationships automatically. however, albert din. hence he felt that albert wasn't treating him as his good friend. he wish that fred will know that he had hurt his feelings but without telling, fred knows nothing.
he dun say hi to dennis until dennis says hi. cos he always feels that other pple are more busy than him. his any attempt to say hi will cause them to be irritated.
gal cherly
18/f/160. single and available. found her senior to be quite cute. dreams of a romantic relationship to happen to her. she wishes that the senior she likes will approach her and ask her out. she wishes.
she would like to know bertrum better. but he appears to be more interested in his friends than her. so, she gave up the idea.
guy dennis
19/f/176. single. good looking, eligible. he seems to have all it takes to be good catch for all gals. he talks to gals and makes them happy. however, he longs for a girl who will love him truely. but he dun know who is that girl. he wish that a girl will tell him that she likes him. however, most of the gals think that he's already attached so he's too good a catch.
one day, he feels that he's always the saying hi to pple first. he feels that he is not "highly demanded by his friends"
gal eunice
19/f/165. single. reserved. she wishes for someone to love her dearly. but pple thinks that she is too cold to approach.
guy fred
19/m/170. single. typical guy who is capable of playing games and games alone to spend the weekend. has friends. he feels that guy friendship is something like a brotherhood, once a friend, always a friend. one day, he said something which hurts his friend, bertrum, a lot. being a straightforth person, he thought that over time, those indeliberate comments will not hurt their friendship. however, bertrum is grudging against him.
Thursday, November 13, 2003
not a good day.
bad day.. mistakes everywhere... wrong leave calculation, wrong budget planning, WRONG RO... (tat's the bad, cos the day ended with a mistake.)
when driving, engine stalls, frequently!
when playing gunbound, kanna whacked heavily and yet i have no means to fight back.. quite shi bai. sigh..
feel so useless. ~
PJ/now called Nelson, called me to watch movie. reallly quite surprised lor.. i mean i dun expect him to contact me after he ORD. maybe cos both of us got similar skin prob. mutual sympathy. tmr is friday, finally. not that i am lookin forward an exciting weekend(cos i dun think i will have one). but i am just happy that the week has ended.
the year is ending, it's kinda scary to me. cos i have yet to sit down and forecast what's coming. i dun like to cross the year unknowingly, without expectation/resolutions.
end of year also means more work. i haven't done much of my work lor, most of the time i am doing Maj Lim's stuffs... good or bad? i dun know. i need more time/ erm.. i think i need a better brain. haha.. okok..
enough of my pessimistic, self-pity, disappointing, bo liao mentality. let me, as usual, pray that tmr will be fine. ~ tks.
when driving, engine stalls, frequently!
when playing gunbound, kanna whacked heavily and yet i have no means to fight back.. quite shi bai. sigh..
feel so useless. ~
PJ/now called Nelson, called me to watch movie. reallly quite surprised lor.. i mean i dun expect him to contact me after he ORD. maybe cos both of us got similar skin prob. mutual sympathy. tmr is friday, finally. not that i am lookin forward an exciting weekend(cos i dun think i will have one). but i am just happy that the week has ended.
the year is ending, it's kinda scary to me. cos i have yet to sit down and forecast what's coming. i dun like to cross the year unknowingly, without expectation/resolutions.
end of year also means more work. i haven't done much of my work lor, most of the time i am doing Maj Lim's stuffs... good or bad? i dun know. i need more time/ erm.. i think i need a better brain. haha.. okok..
enough of my pessimistic, self-pity, disappointing, bo liao mentality. let me, as usual, pray that tmr will be fine. ~ tks.
i dun know
i used to think that it is cool just to write to myself. now, i find it sad if no one is listening to me. it's so complicated. i dun know what to write. if this is meant to be read, i will have reservations. if this is meant to be private, (as mentioned) i will it pathetic to write. cos it means that i am really a loner.
i am so sian. finding something else to concentrate now. game. ya. see if it helps.
a game..
sidenote: i think i am too busy in office. causing me to lose friends like seetoo. should try to be gilat and yet friendly to all. sigh.. see how lah. hope all be well.!~
i am so sian. finding something else to concentrate now. game. ya. see if it helps.
a game..
sidenote: i think i am too busy in office. causing me to lose friends like seetoo. should try to be gilat and yet friendly to all. sigh.. see how lah. hope all be well.!~
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
dee y dee x = 0, dee2y deex^2 >0
i hate it when my skin conditions get bad. really. i lose what it takes to even have the confidence to say hi, to acquantiance, to frens to fren-to-be, to pple i like, to people i am fond of, to people. i cannot help it but to tie my emotional quotient to my skin condition. if i look normal, i must say i can considered to be more or less extrovert, or at least proactive enough to INitiate a hi. but now, at this present moment, i feel so queer, so low to speak. i dun wish to scare people or shock my friends with my skin.
jus when i have this hype bout bike hiking and some talks about going overseas for a while, i am hitting my minimum curve of my emotional quotient. i cannot go out and have fun with my attitude problem self/hermit/sianz self.
i just feel that i have lost so many possible things in life. really. when i just got to know wanting, i dun dare to ask her out often, cos i also know that she's kinda scared of me.
i can stilll remember that day when eugene was commenting bout my flakes in his house. well, i know he doesn't mean it. but it just shuo zhong wo de si xue. .
haven been out with weiming etc, cos i have kinda avoid going out. i dun know. i seems to be self-pitying myself too much. i unintentionally turning down invitations to go out during weekends. i know i am putting a strain on our 7 years friendship.. but i just cannot get myself up. haven't met them for weeks.. i know this is not what i want but how am i going to get myself up??
s46? not going out with them as well. the gals are studying. and i am so called more close to them in class. so? that left me with no one to go out as well..
taking the effort to count, i seems to have few friends. argh..
i see myself falling into another pit hole. i am drowning myself with work. i am working so damn hard that i think if i dun stop, i will soon be grouchy and short tempered in office soon. freak.. what's becoming of me.!
"love thy job, not thy company. cos u knoweth not the time thy company loveth your not."
heard from 933 today that the more u worked overtime, the more mistakes you make, the more time you have to put in to rectify your mistakes. and that puts u in a more tiring enviornment. you will find fault in your colleagues cos you think you are working harder than all of them. i better take heed in the advise. i dun wan to be grouchy person. i dun wan.
i hope my gradient is positive. i wish that i am getting out of this trough..
jus when i have this hype bout bike hiking and some talks about going overseas for a while, i am hitting my minimum curve of my emotional quotient. i cannot go out and have fun with my attitude problem self/hermit/sianz self.
i just feel that i have lost so many possible things in life. really. when i just got to know wanting, i dun dare to ask her out often, cos i also know that she's kinda scared of me.
i can stilll remember that day when eugene was commenting bout my flakes in his house. well, i know he doesn't mean it. but it just shuo zhong wo de si xue. .
haven been out with weiming etc, cos i have kinda avoid going out. i dun know. i seems to be self-pitying myself too much. i unintentionally turning down invitations to go out during weekends. i know i am putting a strain on our 7 years friendship.. but i just cannot get myself up. haven't met them for weeks.. i know this is not what i want but how am i going to get myself up??
s46? not going out with them as well. the gals are studying. and i am so called more close to them in class. so? that left me with no one to go out as well..
taking the effort to count, i seems to have few friends. argh..
i see myself falling into another pit hole. i am drowning myself with work. i am working so damn hard that i think if i dun stop, i will soon be grouchy and short tempered in office soon. freak.. what's becoming of me.!
"love thy job, not thy company. cos u knoweth not the time thy company loveth your not."
heard from 933 today that the more u worked overtime, the more mistakes you make, the more time you have to put in to rectify your mistakes. and that puts u in a more tiring enviornment. you will find fault in your colleagues cos you think you are working harder than all of them. i better take heed in the advise. i dun wan to be grouchy person. i dun wan.
i hope my gradient is positive. i wish that i am getting out of this trough..
Saturday, November 08, 2003
network marketing
PJ, or should i call him Nelson now, brought me to a network marketing talk. well, it's an opportunity to know bout this long-talked about network market. yes, it does sound good. and to me, i do believe that it is not a fraud. it is definitely tempting to try. i also wan to drive a BM in my twenties. i also wish to draw a five-digit monthly salary it is a way to make ur way up, provided that you have what it takes and work hard in your initial stage. but i dun think i am suitable for the job. i cannot bring myself to introduce this scheme/product to my friends and family. i cannot bring myself to be positive, extrovert and sale-motivated. i cannot bring myself to break from the flow, the flow which tells me to get a stable-income job, 8 to 5. anyway, this is not the first time being introduced to NM. weixiong talked to me before. i just dun think that i can make it big in this NM.
yes, i know i can change my mindset. and i know they will say they can provide me with the training, the skills relevant and the help that i need. but i am resistant about the idea. i dun like them. they talk as if they are 100% right and that this is the way i am supposed to live my life. all the crap about studying and getting a normal job isn't a way to live, in fact that kind of life is being trapped in the matrix, unknowingly being tapped for energy by the society, govt etc. it seems that to take part of NM, is like taking the red pill which allows me to wake up and know what's going on actually. i don;t like that idea.
i dun like the idea to to be motivated by points. it will be an "idol". it will be against the commandmant that we should have God in top priority. of cos, with the correct adjustment to the mindset, there's nothing wrong participate in NM. however, i am not ready. not ready to be an extrovert. not ready to be active.
my skin condition is getting worse again. i am quite fed up. coincidentally, my med review is in this month. i am so tempted to take oral corticosteriods but that will simply masked my actualy conditions. and seriously i dun trust my MO to be empthatic about my condition. really hope that they can perm my pes status,.. it will take a bother off my mind. see how lor..
originally, i should be watching matrix revolution today. plan failed.
mrs seet will not be around for three days. oh, then i have to see wendy's take the feather and treat it like a authority sword.. haha.. cannot stand her.. gladfully, i am not taking any orders from her.. i will jus do my own thing. but i am more bothered about maj lim.. cos i think i lose, or misplaced his map. he's lookin for it in the morning and i am not in office. sigh.. lose points liao.. sigh. how to survive till 2005!
tmr is sunday. hope all be well..~
yes, i know i can change my mindset. and i know they will say they can provide me with the training, the skills relevant and the help that i need. but i am resistant about the idea. i dun like them. they talk as if they are 100% right and that this is the way i am supposed to live my life. all the crap about studying and getting a normal job isn't a way to live, in fact that kind of life is being trapped in the matrix, unknowingly being tapped for energy by the society, govt etc. it seems that to take part of NM, is like taking the red pill which allows me to wake up and know what's going on actually. i don;t like that idea.
i dun like the idea to to be motivated by points. it will be an "idol". it will be against the commandmant that we should have God in top priority. of cos, with the correct adjustment to the mindset, there's nothing wrong participate in NM. however, i am not ready. not ready to be an extrovert. not ready to be active.
my skin condition is getting worse again. i am quite fed up. coincidentally, my med review is in this month. i am so tempted to take oral corticosteriods but that will simply masked my actualy conditions. and seriously i dun trust my MO to be empthatic about my condition. really hope that they can perm my pes status,.. it will take a bother off my mind. see how lor..
originally, i should be watching matrix revolution today. plan failed.
mrs seet will not be around for three days. oh, then i have to see wendy's take the feather and treat it like a authority sword.. haha.. cannot stand her.. gladfully, i am not taking any orders from her.. i will jus do my own thing. but i am more bothered about maj lim.. cos i think i lose, or misplaced his map. he's lookin for it in the morning and i am not in office. sigh.. lose points liao.. sigh. how to survive till 2005!
tmr is sunday. hope all be well..~
Friday, November 07, 2003
lwe
oooh. so glad that there is longweekend tmr. i am really quite tired. the moment i have the thoughts that there are things in office waiting for me, i really shrugged a bit. i guess i haven't have a proper system. will be more efficient soon. hope so lah..
now, that i have time to sleep, and money to spend (just got my pay, my last pay), i am looking forward to a weekend eventful. events can include sleeping, resting and talking. will be meeting PJ at eunos for his job search. seriously, i am quite surprised when he called. really no connections with him one lor.. why he call me har?? why? haha. see what happens tmr lor..
"when a man is single, he's incomplete; when he is married, he's finished."
now, that i have time to sleep, and money to spend (just got my pay, my last pay), i am looking forward to a weekend eventful. events can include sleeping, resting and talking. will be meeting PJ at eunos for his job search. seriously, i am quite surprised when he called. really no connections with him one lor.. why he call me har?? why? haha. see what happens tmr lor..
"when a man is single, he's incomplete; when he is married, he's finished."
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
work...
mrs seet is on leave soon, and i dun think i will be covering her like
wat maj lim is saying. i am just not zai enough act solo. that's good..
that's bad too. see how i look at it lor. honestly, the ideal scenerio is i am
busy, yet i can cope. that will be far better than, doing lotsa work and screwed
them up; or doing nothing and getting more useless. haha.
one happy thing: i pass my advance theory. lookin forward
to my practical test. hehe. although my driving lessons have been progressing
slowly and unsteadily. i still wishfully, hopefully, pray tat i can pass my
driving ASAP. haha.. wait for miracle! :)
wat maj lim is saying. i am just not zai enough act solo. that's good..
that's bad too. see how i look at it lor. honestly, the ideal scenerio is i am
busy, yet i can cope. that will be far better than, doing lotsa work and screwed
them up; or doing nothing and getting more useless. haha.
gilbert came back today to teach teach wilfred his jobscope.
everything taught in one day. haha.. i guess it is adequate. hands-on is the
best teacher.
one happy thing: i pass my advance theory. lookin forward
to my practical test. hehe. although my driving lessons have been progressing
slowly and unsteadily. i still wishfully, hopefully, pray tat i can pass my
driving ASAP. haha.. wait for miracle! :)
wilfred seems to be nice guy. at least he isn't a loner,
AP guy or watever. hopefully we can will work happily till 2005`! WOW..
that's so far.. and i am still counting down.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
busy...
i am really getting busy. guess mainly becoz i dun have my system to work yet. i need more wisdom deriving my own monitoring charts, working procedures and calculation techniques. and since the year is ending, i am foreseeing many job coming up. how? must try to perform better. not for anyone, but mainly for myself. i need to assure myself that i am capable.
yes. i will wan to be chem engineer. i have no other available courses for me. i will make it thru uni.. ya. especially after knowing heng rui, that nsman who is a chem engineer.
my skin is flaking again... quite sad bout it. as i have always say, my skin condition does directly affect my emotions and confidence. i should be more discipline in my skin care and everything.
realised that i am always writing in bits and pieces. i am "scribbling" ramdom thoughts.
will target to learn dreamweaver and fireworks. think they are really cool tools. hehe.
yes. i will wan to be chem engineer. i have no other available courses for me. i will make it thru uni.. ya. especially after knowing heng rui, that nsman who is a chem engineer.
my skin is flaking again... quite sad bout it. as i have always say, my skin condition does directly affect my emotions and confidence. i should be more discipline in my skin care and everything.
realised that i am always writing in bits and pieces. i am "scribbling" ramdom thoughts.
will target to learn dreamweaver and fireworks. think they are really cool tools. hehe.
Monday, November 03, 2003
left with biodata
except for my biodata, i guess my webpage ver 1.0 is almost done. i think i will con;t with my ver2.0 soon. cos i think ver1.0 really cannot make it.> !hha..a will try to create something more, erm.. attractive. ya.
today is another day in camp. raizal signed the RO today! haha.. can imagine the strength of the office today right?? a CPL signing for a MAJ. haah.. joke!~
that chem engineer is back for his ICT again! din expect to see him so soon. think he is quite a nice aim for me. i am kinda looking forward to be like him, he appears to be nice to me... chem engineer... will i be like him one day>? will i be a chem engineer ?
he's studying CFA, dunknow what's that. all i know is that he is readin this hateful, woeful econs text~~@. maybe i should have really put in more effort in my econs last time. ~
hopefully tmr will be feng ping lang jing. hopefully.~
today is another day in camp. raizal signed the RO today! haha.. can imagine the strength of the office today right?? a CPL signing for a MAJ. haah.. joke!~
that chem engineer is back for his ICT again! din expect to see him so soon. think he is quite a nice aim for me. i am kinda looking forward to be like him, he appears to be nice to me... chem engineer... will i be like him one day>? will i be a chem engineer ?
he's studying CFA, dunknow what's that. all i know is that he is readin this hateful, woeful econs text~~@. maybe i should have really put in more effort in my econs last time. ~
hopefully tmr will be feng ping lang jing. hopefully.~
Saturday, November 01, 2003
wat 'm i like?
Your sign is that of witty Gemini, the third sign of the zodiac, the sign that is characterized by communication. Geminis are very intellectual individuals, and are forever interested in broadening their horizon - they are eternal students!
Mercury, the planet of communication, rules your sign, and makes you an articulate and versatile person. You are outgoing and sociable, and due to your lively attitude, you are the born entertainer. Clever and ingenious, you usually get what you want with your charm and wit.
First of the three air signs, you are a dexterous, multifaceted, and flexible individual. As the most diverse and eloquent sign of the zodiac, you crave mental stimulation above all. Your curiosity, combined with your ability to synthesize information, makes you the messenger of knowledge and information.
As a Gemini, you rule the third house, the sector of your chart that describes how you perceive, process, and communicate facts. It also has to do with short journeys, siblings, neighbors, and anything within arm's reach.
Your sign is a mutable sign, responsible for keeping information flowing. You are gifted in adapting to situations and making compromises. Of all the zodiac signs, you are the peacemaker and troubleshooter who actively finds solutions to tricky situations.
Your strengths, dear Gemini, lie in your cleverness, inquisitiveness, and openness to exploring new ideas. Once you have found something that interests you, you proceed with logic and scientific precision. However, as soon as you've consumed a subject, you are also able to switch your focus to a new topic. With your naturally practical and skilled approach, you excel in whatever you put your mind to.
One of your main weaknesses is that you can be shallow and hypocritical in your dealings with others. You can confuse people with your unpredictability and cynical attitude, and they might not trust you completely. Since your brain works so quickly, you tend to be nervous, restless, and anxious, which sometimes leaves you highly irritated.
gemini's personalilities also flatters me. and i do think it is very true, for all other geminis except me. why har?? i seems to be a wrong breed. a misfit in all catagories..
maybe what i can do now, is to psycho myself into believing the above description and behave as mentioned. hopefully i am really outgoing and sociable.
Mercury, the planet of communication, rules your sign, and makes you an articulate and versatile person. You are outgoing and sociable, and due to your lively attitude, you are the born entertainer. Clever and ingenious, you usually get what you want with your charm and wit.
First of the three air signs, you are a dexterous, multifaceted, and flexible individual. As the most diverse and eloquent sign of the zodiac, you crave mental stimulation above all. Your curiosity, combined with your ability to synthesize information, makes you the messenger of knowledge and information.
As a Gemini, you rule the third house, the sector of your chart that describes how you perceive, process, and communicate facts. It also has to do with short journeys, siblings, neighbors, and anything within arm's reach.
Your sign is a mutable sign, responsible for keeping information flowing. You are gifted in adapting to situations and making compromises. Of all the zodiac signs, you are the peacemaker and troubleshooter who actively finds solutions to tricky situations.
Your strengths, dear Gemini, lie in your cleverness, inquisitiveness, and openness to exploring new ideas. Once you have found something that interests you, you proceed with logic and scientific precision. However, as soon as you've consumed a subject, you are also able to switch your focus to a new topic. With your naturally practical and skilled approach, you excel in whatever you put your mind to.
One of your main weaknesses is that you can be shallow and hypocritical in your dealings with others. You can confuse people with your unpredictability and cynical attitude, and they might not trust you completely. Since your brain works so quickly, you tend to be nervous, restless, and anxious, which sometimes leaves you highly irritated.
gemini's personalilities also flatters me. and i do think it is very true, for all other geminis except me. why har?? i seems to be a wrong breed. a misfit in all catagories..
maybe what i can do now, is to psycho myself into believing the above description and behave as mentioned. hopefully i am really outgoing and sociable.
one sat Day
one whole sat at home. not too bad. at least i get to sleep a lot and stay away from the outside hostile environment. actually, the weather is not too bad. it's cooling and has been raining quite a bit. think the raining season is here.
i tot i will be going clubbing yesterday. but dun know why roy yiwei fen din call. dun know what's happening. i sense that i am much drifted from them, even royston. why?? am i really retreating into my own den too much. or is my attitude so bad that i am to be left out? no matter what.. it's my choice, i have to accept it.
i think i will take quite, erm.. i mean a long time before getting hold of flash programme. i will start my photo album soon using plain html. have to suit the circumstances dun we/? before i can start, i have to get back my photo cd ! have to arrange a time with jiwei to get back the cd.
i am moving into a state where by dee y dee x equals to zero. waiting for something in life to happen, something positive, and good. "_,) !!
i tot i will be going clubbing yesterday. but dun know why roy yiwei fen din call. dun know what's happening. i sense that i am much drifted from them, even royston. why?? am i really retreating into my own den too much. or is my attitude so bad that i am to be left out? no matter what.. it's my choice, i have to accept it.
i think i will take quite, erm.. i mean a long time before getting hold of flash programme. i will start my photo album soon using plain html. have to suit the circumstances dun we/? before i can start, i have to get back my photo cd ! have to arrange a time with jiwei to get back the cd.
i am moving into a state where by dee y dee x equals to zero. waiting for something in life to happen, something positive, and good. "_,) !!
Thursday, October 30, 2003
yanyan from holland V is a tragic character to me. throughout her life, she is a soloist, closed from outsiders' opinions and most importantly obstinate. isn't it sad to be like her? i think one of the worst things in life is to be detestable. hope i am not like her.
my driving lesson was postponed, jus what i would have wished for. i was trying to get money to pay him. fortunately, he take MC.. haha.. life isn't that bad. when you realise that sometimes, things work out the way you like it. let's count our blessings.
talking about money... mrs seet asked me to teach her daughter.. "how much i wack and scold you in office, you can just bottled up and do it to my daughter..." haah.. it is definitely going to be stressful lor.. dun know if i should take up the challenge. i wouldn't want my office time to be so stressful lor.. and con't work for mrs seet even after office hour. on the other hand, if i can teach well, there might be better life for me in the office?? haha.. see first lor.. see how God guides me...
my new colleague took three days leave.. and next mon he's on course. so i guess i wun see him till tue. he is another commando drop out. why my office always have this kind of pple/? sigh.. really hope he is fun to be with. :) i haven't taken MCs before.. should start to have my MC forecast. haha.. should take some leave also.. erm.. no must clear my off first. i deserve a break.. should start to plan for my holiday lor.. ok.. think i talking cock liao.. ~ life will be better tmr, hopefully.
my driving lesson was postponed, jus what i would have wished for. i was trying to get money to pay him. fortunately, he take MC.. haha.. life isn't that bad. when you realise that sometimes, things work out the way you like it. let's count our blessings.
talking about money... mrs seet asked me to teach her daughter.. "how much i wack and scold you in office, you can just bottled up and do it to my daughter..." haah.. it is definitely going to be stressful lor.. dun know if i should take up the challenge. i wouldn't want my office time to be so stressful lor.. and con't work for mrs seet even after office hour. on the other hand, if i can teach well, there might be better life for me in the office?? haha.. see first lor.. see how God guides me...
my new colleague took three days leave.. and next mon he's on course. so i guess i wun see him till tue. he is another commando drop out. why my office always have this kind of pple/? sigh.. really hope he is fun to be with. :) i haven't taken MCs before.. should start to have my MC forecast. haha.. should take some leave also.. erm.. no must clear my off first. i deserve a break.. should start to plan for my holiday lor.. ok.. think i talking cock liao.. ~ life will be better tmr, hopefully.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
never expect jevin will be the first person to read my blog. initially i tot my blog will be shoved in dust for ages before showcasing it. haha.. one more person to add as my links.. hehe.
i have been contemplating to have a blogger since jc when i saw huawei's livejournal. however, i really have my reservations. there are many inner thoughts that i wouldn't wan to share, and if i cannot be truthful in my writing, what's the point of writing? now i think it is worth being truthful in blogs. people who take the time to read your blog, they should be worthy friends to share my thoughts with. isn't it?
actually, how truthful can one be in his own thoughts? i, for one, often self deceive myself. so there's really no issue if the blog is real or not. one cannot judge.
"We are constantly in search for company, but yet some pple juz like to keep to themselves and hide the fact that they need company. "--jevin's blog. i am one who is hiding the fact that i need company. i put on a cool front, procrasinates my pursuits, lengthening my wait for others, hallucinating the -ve impressions that others have on me, sloth away the time, build high walls to keep visitors away. oh man, what i am doing?
i guess i cannot write further, thoughts are running thru my head so much faster than i can write. i need to sleep. ~all the best for tmr... life has to be better.
i have been contemplating to have a blogger since jc when i saw huawei's livejournal. however, i really have my reservations. there are many inner thoughts that i wouldn't wan to share, and if i cannot be truthful in my writing, what's the point of writing? now i think it is worth being truthful in blogs. people who take the time to read your blog, they should be worthy friends to share my thoughts with. isn't it?
actually, how truthful can one be in his own thoughts? i, for one, often self deceive myself. so there's really no issue if the blog is real or not. one cannot judge.
"We are constantly in search for company, but yet some pple juz like to keep to themselves and hide the fact that they need company. "--jevin's blog. i am one who is hiding the fact that i need company. i put on a cool front, procrasinates my pursuits, lengthening my wait for others, hallucinating the -ve impressions that others have on me, sloth away the time, build high walls to keep visitors away. oh man, what i am doing?
i guess i cannot write further, thoughts are running thru my head so much faster than i can write. i need to sleep. ~all the best for tmr... life has to be better.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
wits course (last day)
today is the last day of the course. indeed, i am not new to this kind of course. just like nacli, youthchallenge course/camp, it is a team building course, which focus on leadership and teach us to be tactical leaders. But, this course has certainly refresh my experience as a leader (if i am really one).
i guess i am being more open in this course. i have put on my most extrovert self. i cast away my reservations to a blur/ comical/ out-spoken ernest. i really dun know if it is correct for me to be like that. God, pls tell me which is the real me?? i think i really have split personalities, so much so that i dun know who is the real me. or maybe it is true for all? who knows?
tmr i will get to know my new colleague. dun know how will it be. let's hope for the best colleague/ friend that i can have in army.
i guess i am being more open in this course. i have put on my most extrovert self. i cast away my reservations to a blur/ comical/ out-spoken ernest. i really dun know if it is correct for me to be like that. God, pls tell me which is the real me?? i think i really have split personalities, so much so that i dun know who is the real me. or maybe it is true for all? who knows?
tmr i will get to know my new colleague. dun know how will it be. let's hope for the best colleague/ friend that i can have in army.
Monday, October 27, 2003
WIT leader course 1. i am on course again. since i dun know anyone in the course, attempts are made to know people. thank God that my skin condition is giving confidence to approach people.
I know that it is my attitude that enables me to make friends or let people talk to me. However, i jsut cannot force myself to behave positively when my skin condition is bad. Self esteem is rock-bottomed when my face is flaking etc..
the course is about being a good leader. it is definitely not the first time for me to attend such course. however, whether i apply the content learnt is another matter.
in such courses, i always appear to be confident and take the initiative to break the ice. can i do the same in my social life?
presently, i am leading a loner life. i dun go out with people.
on the other hand, weiming is taking the initiative to ask me/ the rest out. he just cannot be alone. now that he is single, he needs more company from friends. the same senerio happenned in JC. but then, i am not sure if he's with vivian or not. this time, i know that being a friend, i should be with him when he needs company. but i just dun like to be called out frequent becos he's single. in other words, i am jsut trying to act bochap even i do like to have companionship.
i was on very good terms with eugene in sec 2 cos i am always making myself available for him to chat thru the night.
i was on good terms weiming when he needed company in JC. i never asked him anything bout viv and him. neither did he tell me anything.
but i just dun know who, how, when to ask them out when i am feeling down/ dejected. i start to think that friends are redundant to me. cos i dun know how to approach them. i have taken a step back from all. i can sympathise the feelings of a hermit.
am i right to behave in this way?
I know that it is my attitude that enables me to make friends or let people talk to me. However, i jsut cannot force myself to behave positively when my skin condition is bad. Self esteem is rock-bottomed when my face is flaking etc..
the course is about being a good leader. it is definitely not the first time for me to attend such course. however, whether i apply the content learnt is another matter.
in such courses, i always appear to be confident and take the initiative to break the ice. can i do the same in my social life?
presently, i am leading a loner life. i dun go out with people.
on the other hand, weiming is taking the initiative to ask me/ the rest out. he just cannot be alone. now that he is single, he needs more company from friends. the same senerio happenned in JC. but then, i am not sure if he's with vivian or not. this time, i know that being a friend, i should be with him when he needs company. but i just dun like to be called out frequent becos he's single. in other words, i am jsut trying to act bochap even i do like to have companionship.
i was on very good terms with eugene in sec 2 cos i am always making myself available for him to chat thru the night.
i was on good terms weiming when he needed company in JC. i never asked him anything bout viv and him. neither did he tell me anything.
but i just dun know who, how, when to ask them out when i am feeling down/ dejected. i start to think that friends are redundant to me. cos i dun know how to approach them. i have taken a step back from all. i can sympathise the feelings of a hermit.
am i right to behave in this way?
Saturday, October 25, 2003
---like this paw? i like it. have been using it since my last webpage in 1998. long time back isn't it?
dennis share his philosophy of being sucessful with us again today, during the high-tea. (anyway, the high-tea is only $9/= per head. damn cheap becos of royston's 50% discount) Dennis was saying that positive thinking will bring you to the place you wish to be at. i totally agree with that. in primary, i dreamt about being a prefect, get a high agregate score to go dhs etc, all were realised unknowingly. there is a kind of force is dreaming.. it will drive you towards your goals. but i have stop dreaming, erm.. should i say, i have stop dreaming hard enough quite some time ago. i am tired. lathargic and incapable to dream big and aim high. dun know why.
Dennis talked about networking, i used to be able to put on a smile and talk to everyone i know... now? i can't even bother to talk to my friends--eugene etc.. why? just dis-heartened. or jus too tired. lost the faith that they dun mind listening to me. everytime i tried to say something, there is this devilish voice tellin me that all are not interested in me and my speech. i have given in to this devilish voice more frequently as day goes.
Hopefully i can be stronger and be a better person someday.. or again. hehe.. all by the grace of God. If He allows. :)
i am going for a high tea at oriental hotel later.. dun know how will it turn into? hopefully the atmosphere will be good enough to enjoy. this is a super long weekend but yet i have to go to camp for div duty tmr... ya.. i am a bit aimless now.. hopefully by designing the website will cause me to be more aware of what do i really wan.. seize the day.
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