i hate it when my skin conditions get bad. really. i lose what it takes to even have the confidence to say hi, to acquantiance, to frens to fren-to-be, to pple i like, to people i am fond of, to people. i cannot help it but to tie my emotional quotient to my skin condition. if i look normal, i must say i can considered to be more or less extrovert, or at least proactive enough to INitiate a hi. but now, at this present moment, i feel so queer, so low to speak. i dun wish to scare people or shock my friends with my skin.
jus when i have this hype bout bike hiking and some talks about going overseas for a while, i am hitting my minimum curve of my emotional quotient. i cannot go out and have fun with my attitude problem self/hermit/sianz self.
i just feel that i have lost so many possible things in life. really. when i just got to know wanting, i dun dare to ask her out often, cos i also know that she's kinda scared of me.
i can stilll remember that day when eugene was commenting bout my flakes in his house. well, i know he doesn't mean it. but it just shuo zhong wo de si xue. .
haven been out with weiming etc, cos i have kinda avoid going out. i dun know. i seems to be self-pitying myself too much. i unintentionally turning down invitations to go out during weekends. i know i am putting a strain on our 7 years friendship.. but i just cannot get myself up. haven't met them for weeks.. i know this is not what i want but how am i going to get myself up??
s46? not going out with them as well. the gals are studying. and i am so called more close to them in class. so? that left me with no one to go out as well..
taking the effort to count, i seems to have few friends. argh..
i see myself falling into another pit hole. i am drowning myself with work. i am working so damn hard that i think if i dun stop, i will soon be grouchy and short tempered in office soon. freak.. what's becoming of me.!
"love thy job, not thy company. cos u knoweth not the time thy company loveth your not."
heard from 933 today that the more u worked overtime, the more mistakes you make, the more time you have to put in to rectify your mistakes. and that puts u in a more tiring enviornment. you will find fault in your colleagues cos you think you are working harder than all of them. i better take heed in the advise. i dun wan to be grouchy person. i dun wan.
i hope my gradient is positive. i wish that i am getting out of this trough..
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