serious talk

exams coming. in the midst of it, still met up with yuwei and xiong for supper. i talked a bit, then xiong said that i was talking about serious talk.. guess it's not convenient to talk serious with people. yeap, indeed, we should all carry our own burdens as far as possible.

here it is, for me to reflect and talk to this blog:

staying in hall is like a mirror. it allows me to see for myself where do i really stand among people. and what are the things that i cannot do. so many things that are not for me almost forever. i cant sing, i cant play sports. and i realise that these are the things that are currently more valued by people. well.. simply i guess, they are the people on the pedestal.

so, what can i do? it seems to some pple that i am good for things. gladys and huiyu seemed to be rather happy with the publicity that i have been doing. the poster designs, ads, and watever.. jingwen in a way, still willing to let me try our with techie stuffs when i really think that junsiong has the organizational power and the rest have the tech knowledge. so, i guess it's all about willingness. it's the enthusiasim that i have for things new that seemed to be an asset for me, in hqguards and in hall. so, am i happy with myself?

yes, i must say that the chance to do up posters are quite enjoyable even tho i am not a pro (yet). the sad thing about me is that, i really dun know if there's talent and ability behind my willingness.

the heart is willing... but the flesh is weak.

weixiong says: "ernest, why are you selling your life to hall? do you think they will remember you?" **disclaimer: i am not selling my life to hall.. i nv will***

last time in hq guards, pple says: "ernest, why work so hard? do you think army will remember you? no! they will just find another replacement when you are gone."
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the same will go when you go to work and so on. . . so the thing is. there's one thing that you can sell your life to. that is to do things for God. to study hard for Him, to do His work, to spread the Gospel and serve in His church. Cos God will remember, not for this life but for life everlasting. yes. God is the only one who is the perfect Boss you can work for.

when i am saying this,i know i believe in my heart. of cos as deprave human, the struggle is about putting God's will above mine and pursuing things everlasting but intangible now vs pursuing material glory in this world. the struggle continues.
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humanly speaking: yeap, the mirror is showing how useless i am.. therefore i feel little.

intercession: it's when you think you are little, then God shows His ability to use little people like you.