amos' grandma passed away yesterday. and amos is booking out today. as much as he wishes to be around at the wake, he also dun wish to participate in the rituals. it is a testing. and i am so sad and shameful to say that i have failed last time.
beepheng says she will 'zhao' amos. so nice to have a elder sis or bro. but i am the elder, when can i ever be close enough to my bro.. and to 'zhao' him.
realise that i have little patience with people, similarly, i see and foresee pple to have little patience with me. i am such a bad person.
francis is now at his guardrest, wilfred in tekong, ken was mc for past 2 days. in the end, the person i talk to the most is the nsman.. in fact, he's good, he is able to maintain neutrality of the subject well..
on the other hand, i need to improve. i guess and deduce that whenever we talk bout Creation, Science and God, i tend to appear to be very agitated. well.. wondering if i was, but i tot i was composed and subjective enough. maybe it's not only when we are discussing bout God, it happens whenever i engage in a discussion. i am always in an aggressive mode(or so i seem to be). i need to show the composure that i wish to portray.
i kinda understand why power and authority is important to pple. it's the thing other than money to keep someone satisfied. i feel good when i can have the decision and say regarding things. and it feels good to arrow pple and reap the products. but this is definitely not good. i will not want to keep this going. argh.
meek. blessed are those who are meek, for they shall inherit the earth this is the new thing that i aim for. yes, i wish to be meek. it seems to be the best quality i need so far. to be meek~
friends... . they come and go.
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