i am dead tired but i think i need to finish my entry.. so that i can more accurately remembers what am i thinking...
someone commented to me "stop thinking that you are left out, cos you are not" or something to that effect. well.. i must say that i am left out in my own ways.. people tend to hide their thoughts sometimes from others cos they are too bad/evil/unatural blah.. and i guess i am just hiding too much.. or should i say, ya.. i exclude myself from others and left myself out. and ya.. i am getting used to this kind of evil, idiotic me, okok.. i am not, but i think i am gettting use.. tryin to convince myself..~
something happen during the last night of the camp.. again. yeap.. for a moment, i kinda think that i am totally not the cut for camps. the more i get into it, i more i think i should get out of it before someone intentionally excludes me out of it. i guess i just cant behave the right way in front of others. instead of trying to convince others that i want to be friendly, i must check how come i am not appearing what i am thinking. or maybe i am really not thinking right. 相由心生。 it's correct often to an extent. .
acutally now when i reflect back... i think the truth said isn't the whole truth. someone may be intentionally protecting someone's feelings and someone else got hurt in the end. unlikely i will say but it's just another possibility.
till the next camp.. let me improve on my eq ba>~
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