people

i dun know how to start.. wheter to say from "i am in the wrong" perspective or should i just be just selfish bout myself... i shall try to push away my low-esteem self and really pour my criticism.. hm.. ifi can..

what is hall?? i think it has seriously evolved into a place for people just to live in.. no longer a hall culture or stuffs like that. we are just neighbours.. like HDB.. it's up to you whether you want to know your neighbours.. we have the block comm (HDB has their RCs) you can join the clubs to know more pple and blah..

no more ragging.. which is.. sigh.. i mean.. it's just for fun isn't it? it's just like no more tekan in army.. which you can say it's good that everyone is just the same like one big family.. but we know that sometimes people are just very nostelgic about traditions. pple feel that it's the tradition that is important.. instill the culture..

but sometimes, at this age people dun care bout seniority, age and generations.. as long as you can make it.. and you can push things thru, you can just do it..

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adrain is one who has been in hall for years.. being in swoc and many other things gives him a lot of things to see and also a lot of things to say.. but how receptive are people to him? that's another thing.

if you have seen the show "玻璃之城"... the one with shuqi and leon lai.. about how they get to know each other in HK uni when they were staying in hall.. blah.. i think that's what hall life is.. maybe.

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when the block get cliqish.. people are worried.. adrain was trying to help.. trying to keep the block as one.. (i seriously think it's difficult).. matt instead say, "let their own batch decide" and adrain actually reply, "ya.. maybe.. we shant become those 老不死." maybe.. at times should learn when to let go.... whether they sink or swim.. we are not in the sea with them.. so we cannot decide too..

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cliqish.. actually.. isn't a bad idea.. sheares made up of 5 blocks.. and each block made up of cliques.. it's normal lor.. so what if the batch dun have clique.. chio's batch have those active pple like erm.. those MOE pple.. i think.. and the rest.. the freshies have pple who knows each other in JC already.. and those from SECC.. ..
my batch.. seriously.. i dun know.. i also dun know why am i cont to stay.. i am just trying to give myself another chance to have a little higher EQ.. if it can be developed.

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i said that it will be more fun if i were not a councillor.. was thinking that.. erm.. well.. i feel like a freshie among them lor.. but if i am not councillor.. i really dun think i will come back... esp when i realise that when i come back.. i dun have pple to be with me.. chio back with gab. adrain with matt.. i dun think i will find some company..

seeing how the block comm trying to maintain block culture, keeping them together.. tring to bond people and bond the cliques are something quite interesting.. it's also the gossiping and discussion of things... and i wonder why am i not involved.. well.. i am jus a freshie senior ba.. or more imptly, i dun raise my opinions, or dun dare to raise them.. being a spectator too often has made me a bystander by default.

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after talking for so long.. i have yet to bring in my main unhappiness...

there are some pple who are just unhappy with me.. maybe it's my tone of talking that irritates her but then.. i am stil pissed.. i am pissed cos i really think that a person can be so whiny and argh.. and yet.. making noises and yet complaining and discussing things at a high level as if she is able to relate to them but in actual fact it's just 事后孔明. if you are pouting your lips and and when.. it looks duh..>! and you dun listen.. maybe you choose not to listen to me only but then.. you stil dun listen.. and when things happen, you give that kind "i am not in fault" tone and sit back..

some people are just competitive.. maybe i am too layback but i really dun like that kind of smirk look. it's as if the world revolves around you.. esp when i think that your confidence comes from the way you package yourself on the outside. if you dun have your way, you will just sit out.. no giving in , no compromise.. disgusting..


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confident look..
1. dun smile doesn't mean that you are serious
2. smile and dun giggle and give a firm yes is good.
3. when i give a bored look, i look like i am damn shag. so dun look bored.

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what shaojie says during the game struck, he said "it all depends how much you want to open up in this game" ... and i have a difficult time in the game.. cos i simple have too much within myself.. i cant even be honest with myself often times.. no wonder i cannot let myself out.!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wish list : to learn to read, and learn to know things.. know more information, trivia, read bout soccer, play DOTA!!!, run, dun be weak... the list goes on..

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it's when all the unhappiness sets in that i seek God. i wonder why i cant be like this and that.. but during the midst of these.. really thank God that my dad and mom came to church today.. erm.. without persuasion.. i am seriously very happy. it's a sign for me to strive on.. if He is to be so nice to me.. why will he not give me more..