feugo ~

almost dint go for it cos i tot i should be around for swoc councillor preparation but thank God for making it possible to go. being councillor in uni camps are different cos it's all about making friends and not being a facilitator or erm.. big kor kor like in children's camp. which is supposed to be what i like. cos i always like to be a friend in children camp. =)

seeing the games that they play and the friends they made, makes me regret not joining camps when i was in year 1. i dint go cos no one around me are going.. but i guess i was wrong. i could have gone myself? maybe.. but i am deinitely not very 'high-profile' even if i had went. and i tot i will be too tired to organize outing and contacting OG friends.. that's what i tot lah.. but now, as a councillor, i feel like knowing more of them and stuffs..

but i surely know my class pple better this time.. i wish lipchong were there and it would really complete my ideal councillor list. ~

being a year 2 with the freshies,
1. ya.. time pass fast.. real fast..
2. at times, i wonder what am i doing? i am like one year older than them but not as good as them.. =(

but i also have more motivation to study le. i really want to study harder during the coming sem. at least should attend all lectures, do all tutorials and stuffs. results is not everything but i think that's the bare min requirement for me to do as a student. ya.. i want to be good so that i can influence pple too. yeap.. trying to be better so that i am teach pple. little actions to raise esteem.

---

in all camps, it's always a competition between the groups. and somehow, thruout all my camps, i dun remember my group being one of the few top scoring group. i wonder if it's me or it's the group. i think i have a part to play. i am normally loud and active when i first know the people.. and naturally will have a say in the direction of play.. but i am not a winner in games as usual and normally lose motivation to play to win. i am saying this cos i really dun know how is it like to be in a winning team. and all along, i feel happy with a happy, friendly team. guess i am just a true plagmatic, sanguine persoN... choleric nature is diffinite not for me..

--

bangkok trip 13-16 july 2006

http://dreamerize.com/misc/hp_photos_show.swf

there's really so much to talk about the trip.. but right at this moment, i am overwhelmed by a pre-school opening atmosphere and a state of lost in terms of hall coms and post camp (FWC, freshmen welcome camp for chem engin) syndrome. will jot down what i am feeling later..

this trip is a long postponed overseas trip with the guys.. we wanted to go overseas together after a levels and settle for genting. this time, it's a total experience, cos we get to walk on the streets and navigate around the city. more discussions and decision making during the trip this restaurant and time spent at each station or even which direction to take.. and all these just let me con't to know each of them better (even after 8 years)

weixiong, the coordinator. much thanks to him for booking the tickets, finding the empty time slot that can accomodate all of us.. telling us where to buy what and stuffs. our spokesman to the hotel manager trying to get as low priced stay as possible.

weiming, with gene, andrew, xiong will take up the map and navigate. to decide which station to stop, which direction the taxi is going and stuffs. most of the time, i just leave it to them and follow. calvin said, "eh.. why aren't you helping them?" "cos i am just like you. " =) yea.. not very good with directions. not that i cannot read a map but i just dun have the instant flare and instictive sense of direction.

(learning pt: if there's a discussion going on and you feel that you are too tired to discuss, then follow the conlusion made during the discussion and dun give you personal 2cents worth of opinions and raise little doubts about the decision made. yeap.. )

the thing i still dun know how to cope with is about gambling and drinking.. i have not been gambling for fun for some time.. and i guess they have kinda accepted my decision. and of cos i dun drink.. and cant drink. at this age, when all your guy friends are adults.. my idea of fun seemed to be childish compared to them. yeap.. as i have known myself, i really dun like to be different.

shopping, is definitely an important component of the trip. but i am as unhappy with my shopping as i am happy. i am glad to hav the luxury to spend on things. but on the other hand, i am worried about my purseline. i just dun have enough to spend i guess and i am trying to stop myself from spending. and i really tot i should spend less than any one of them.. cos i seemed to have the least to spend. for one, i dun hve the money, 2, i dun work, 3 i dun save up. so.. yea.. that pretty sums me up to be a bai jia zi. sigh~

calvin says, "不要为了买而买". yeah. it's true. but i dun know what do i really like to buy. or maybe i just want to buy things that people like.. which is the difficult thing for me. maybe next time i will heck care about everone and only buy things i relaly like. easier said than done.

buying clothes is fun to see that the tshirts there are cheap. but then again, it's not fun to get the size. if gettting for other people and friends, i dun know how to guage the size. and in bangkok, the waistline are all fake one.. not accurate at all. or at least different from what i know in singapore. seeing how good the rest of them fit the shirts and t-shirts they bought makes me feel like building up. yeap.. i am small. and i am not happy being small whenever it comes to wearing of clothes and loooking good. weiming say, "ernest, you should go gym" i am just damn lazy. but i will start.. arg!!!!!!!!!! at least with running and stuffs. arhg!

(will have more to say when i jot down my sentosa trip)

4 days in bangkok.. ended too shortly but it's definitely intensive with the shopping and walking around. =) maybe i am more suited for something not so shopping intensive but walking around and eating thigns. kinda like my taiwan trip back then, with jiaye and vincent.. =) or maybe cos we aren't really close and hence more willing to give in to each other.. =)

but this trip, as usual are the jokes and talking.. discussion after the carabet show, whether the shoes and shirts are worth it or not and stuffs... not much of personal sharing to anyone or late night talking this trip but it really does make us feel back in time again.

friends that i wish to keep, tho we may all be at different places now. i hope i am a friend they will want to keep too, i hope.

overseas live

Wong Sin Guan Ernest : 4 days leave : Overseas(Bangkok)

Contactable thru hp. =)

---

if can, please pray for me... journey mercies. skin condition to be well during trip. safety in bangkok. fruitful shopping. =)

nice words help

http://www.clementsen.com/email/friendship.php

and thanks to fengjun/eddie for sending the above to me.. truly, nice words and encouragements, little or small, can make a person's day, or at least make him smile.

birthday present

yeap.. after quite some time, i am glad for some more gifts from friends!



one from weiliang jingyu jiapei~ it's a car key holder.. and yesh.. i dun have a car key.. so it's containing my house keys now.. quite cool huh!!




actually i wanted to change my key chain for some time cos my recent key chain is causing hurt to my pants and backside.. yeap.. cos it has jagged edges so it kinda cut thru my bag and my jeans stuffs.~ a nice present in deed.



and next is a wonderfully yellow water bottle which is perfectly nice for outing, studying and stuffs. it's boyish i think and yet yellow! and it's of the right size to bring out. and i have to thank BeePheng for this!!! =)

unteachable

i realise most of the time i feel angry with people is when i think they are not receptive to opinions. when some of the behaviors i see to be wrong, in the sight of Bible, or at times human emotions, and yet they can act them out righteously. . .

at times, i feel that they are not receptives to comments or even suggestions to improve.. or actually they are not willing to listen..

underlying all the above.. there's one important critical reason why it happens so many times.. i think , i suspect, it's the quality of the person giving the comments. yesh, i am talking bout myself. increasing my knowledge in the useful way.. oh.. i must really buck up!!!! so that even if i am right, i dun sound wrong.

sending my bro off

Latest TODAY column: S'poreans are fed, up with progress!

then..

S'porean blogger Mr Brown's column suspended by Today free newspaper

then..

Regarding TODAY

i wonder what can i say... disgusting

blog stumbled

not exactly stumbled upon.. it's more of, suddenly thought of a keyword to search for.

dxcloud.blogspot.com...

sometimes, after knowing the person, knowing as in understand the person.. and you realise that you understand his thinking and types of events that he has gone thru.. but yet you are not close.. and cannot be close..

indeed, close friends or friends are not only people you can identify with but it's the things that you go thru.. so what have i gone thru with who>?

of cos, there are also friends who are friends just because whenever you meet, you still feel that you know each other just like yesterday..

yeap.. they are just God given.

school motto

read this school motto off the singapore idol today while helping sheares rag.. the one that i was helping is very nice.. not saying that i made it nice but the idea and the design is very nice. .=) took some photos but shant put up in case .. erm.. ya.. just in case i am not supposed to reveal anything about rag.

oh ya.. the motto is:
men of genius are admired, men of power are feared, man of character are trusted.

wonder why is it a motto.. so is menof power good? or what??

if my school start in Cct

But the reward, to be part of the event of the year, promises to be well worth the effort.

The positions are listed at www.kellyservices.com.sg. - CNA /ct

i wish to work for IMF.. reallie.. best to be a driver.. tho it's not really posible liao.. hehe
nvm lor.. next time ba.. hopefully

youth day eve 2006

Happy Birthday to MICHELLE~


First of all... happy birthday to Michelle and thank you U.Eddie/A.Karen for the wonderful delicious durian cake!~~!!! =)


happy birthday!!~

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Children in church
after service went around taking photos with children.. as usual for me. =)
(for those who find the slide show below too slow, please note that there's a speed up button on the bottom left corner. the "plus" sign)

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Children's Camp Debrief @ sakae sushi
yeap.. we had the priviledge of having our debrief at the wonderful sakae airport vip room. and of cos, we must thank the person who made this dinner possible. THank YOU!!!

then we played the Big Fish small fish game~ @=) see for yourself.. sometimes, it's nice to have eca without the children. haha

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YOUTH DAY EVE blind cat session at west coast park

since we have the priledge of having YOUTH DAY holiday on monday.. we had a nice time at the west coast park playground.!~~



(people, you can see the caption of the photos, almost all, by mouseover-ing the pictures)


many times, i think shomerim blog content should appear here.. if not other pple readin my blog will think that i have no social activities or going out opportunites. ~

the return of people

Eugene is back. he bought some clothes for us.. think it's jerseys for them.. but not for me. i guess, if i would think that someone had tried to choose something that's more ernest for me.. i should be glad. =) yeap.. learning to appreaciate the precious thots.




simone returns for good, since she has graduated. nv meet up with simone, or should i say the whole sec 3h4h classmates at all.. in my memories, those two years were a blankslate for me.. in total depression maybe. hha.a.a ~

it's holidays for uk people.. now till sep.~=) see them around.

神雕

记得前阵子我说我不喜欢笑傲的故事. 现在娱家正在播<神雕>. 看着看着,我也因为有一些情节而感到不开心. 现在正播 杨过在襄阳城想杀郭靖. 我就想到不久后黄容与杨过的误会,误解,不对头. 两个聪明的人, 也可以说是亲人, 但却选择互相猜疑, 互相怀疑. 悲剧.

我们也是这样吧, 常常本来可以因为彼此投契可以深交,却又反而喜欢鸡蛋里挑骨头. 能看对眼,情投意合德有几个.
能相知,相识,相惜 的又有几个? 能成为朋友的. . . 我心里真的是由珍惜的.我想我欠缺行动.

青春期

我想我再也找不回我的青春期了。为何如此的感慨？ 因为最近周围的朋友，或应该说小弟弟小妹妹们都逐步进入teens的阶段了。看着他们进入甜甜的暧昧，似有非无的“喜欢”，那总感觉是那么的熟悉。多回味ah!

我呢？似乎应该进入我该进入的阶段了ba ? 可是事与愿违...只能希望上帝眷顾我了.

pictures. ~

a card given to me by javan during children's camp. thank God for a card. i wish i have appeared happier when he gave me the card. =)

me and fel... at bally~>

enjoying

hh come my hse ytd to study... tho he din't really did much.. then off for movie with bh des xy. cars. a wonderful movie.

"should let the church kidz watch this show. and teach them winning is not the thing", bh.

yeap.. we all know that winning is not everything but how many adults practice.. in fact, some people thinks, with their so called mature mindset and socially adapted wisdom that winning is the thing.

looking around me, i kinda realise that i roughly knows what am i supposed to do. alongside, the minor roles i need to play are also very clear. that's to study and study well. my results arent good for sure, but am i really meant for poor results.. . i know i can do better.. i think i am more motivated to do better now.. now that des and nick are going to ntu next year. =)

studying with hh and bh makes me feel that education is really going haywire. okay.. haywire is not the word, it's just that hci's syllabus is hard to grasp. it's good and bad in both sense.
i realise i like to teach people how to tackle exams. why dunt i derive a way to teach myself? why why why?

and yesh.. confirmed that i am acting not manly enough.. too act cute. haha.. changing is not an option now.. but maybe improving myself is a good way.

so what am i supposed to say about enjoying? erm.. friends and company i guess. able to find people to go out.. yea. thank God. at this moment, i am reminded of my dear sec sch friends. i guess i nv forget them, it's jsut that, have less time together...

next phase of life dawning upon all of us..
xy... o levels and being pressed to make of choice between mammon ....
hh bh... growing up and grown up. a time, almost, to choose too... to stay, to hold fast, to lose track, to give up/in.
sh, working...
des... studying...
bro... next thing coming up is ns.. tho is still quite 1 year away..

my peers around..? either study hard or date hard. still.. it's a direction taken and chosen.

i know where i am going. the prob is how to get there..

day out for movie Cars~

haha.. wanted to take a grp photo but then.. cant seem to fit everyone into the picture..

so here's a 2 into 1 pic,.. but someone have to sacrifice to make this pic possible. . . and the person is.. erm.. see for yourself. lor~

youth camp part 2

i am dead tired but i think i need to finish my entry.. so that i can more accurately remembers what am i thinking...

someone commented to me "stop thinking that you are left out, cos you are not" or something to that effect. well.. i must say that i am left out in my own ways.. people tend to hide their thoughts sometimes from others cos they are too bad/evil/unatural blah.. and i guess i am just hiding too much.. or should i say, ya.. i exclude myself from others and left myself out. and ya.. i am getting used to this kind of evil, idiotic me, okok.. i am not, but i think i am gettting use.. tryin to convince myself..~

something happen during the last night of the camp.. again. yeap.. for a moment, i kinda think that i am totally not the cut for camps. the more i get into it, i more i think i should get out of it before someone intentionally excludes me out of it. i guess i just cant behave the right way in front of others. instead of trying to convince others that i want to be friendly, i must check how come i am not appearing what i am thinking. or maybe i am really not thinking right. 相由心生。 it's correct often to an extent. .

acutally now when i reflect back... i think the truth said isn't the whole truth. someone may be intentionally protecting someone's feelings and someone else got hurt in the end. unlikely i will say but it's just another possibility.

till the next camp.. let me improve on my eq ba>~

little ark dinner.

it's nice to bring the children out for dinner. they chose mac at airport. =)

children camp and youth camp part 1

TBPC Children’s Camp

Teaching lower primary and upper primary
Being a teacher does not only entails the delivery of lessons. Much effort is put into the teaching materials and aids like the ppt for my case. Yes, the ppt can be done quite easily you may think, but the organization of materials aren’t. and I have not mentioned about sourcing for the information. So am I a good teacher recently? I dun know. Apparently I dun feel it from the looks of the student.

Science and Bible
Started off with the Sunday school lesson with the upper primary. When I delivering information that seems to be new or difficult, I feel bad about pitching it at too high a level. But whenever someone give me that “ ya I know, can you please move on look”, I feel down. My abilities are in doubt.

My Lesson 2 with Upper primary
It’s a lesson which I like the most. Because I think I did not run of out things to talk about. In fact, I have too many things to say. Teaching bible stories is sometimes difficult, too much narration is boring but too little elaboration and examples is without application. I find it difficult. But as I said, I like my lesson, as I draw a parallel on how God was preparing Gideon for the battle just as how He prepares a Christian to do something great for him. Conversion -> tear down idols -> worship -> persecution -> doing great things.

However, I problem and sadness comes when I realize that I dun have enough time to elaborate on how Joash save Gideon and how he got his second name. and the children cannot answer shuhui’s qn during bible quiz.

I asked Je, and he says that it’s just nice. Not too hard and not too difficult. I do think he can be candid at times but I still take his comments with a pinch of salt, thinking that he might just trying to be nice to me or being tactful. No matter what, I must say that, I have grown a little bit more from preparing the lesson.

Teaching lower primary
It’s an experience teaching there are many pple issues to settle. I find it a bother that I cannot carry on my lesson well. Often, I have to spend time settle disputes about he beat me… he scold me.. how am I supposed to spend the right about of time.

Thank You Card
My one thank you card is from ja, which is from lower pri. I was glad to receive. Needless to say. Des was saying, “ernest, for this card, it’s worth it.” Ya.. I know. Thank God for this one card.

VBS Science Experiment
I was glad when I heard from Kezia that Gideon said, “ernest kor kor very clever, he can make the mini rocket fly very high…” being able to fascinate him at least, I guess the gladness is there.

During vbs I was glad that I was handling activities which I may be a little better. But back then, I wonder will it be good to have the chance to teach God’s word.

However, when I see ty handling matyrs stories, I wonder will it be better if I can have that sit down and talk lessons with the children. I am just so not contented.

I dun wish to doubt on my abilities, but as I often asked, what if one day you find out that you are really just not there, how to accept it? Or more proactively, how to change it?

The children
Jeshua
He’s often liked. All of us know. His childlike faith, childlike maturity, his cute behavior and amiable cuddling habit. Will he remain as 10yo-jeshua-like… unlikely, but how much will he be different.

Javan
Being so sweet to give me a thank you card. What can I say? he’s always sweet. But I dun know how to treat him nice leh. =)

Botao and Sarah
Ji tong ya jiang. A tones of problems. One of them knows that they have a prob but unable to resolve. The other party’s prob is that they think they have no prob.

Xiangyuan
常常因为感到不被了解，不能了解而感到困惑。似乎映射了我的处境。

Jun’en and Joseph
A struggle between my choice of the best student. Jun’en is the more enthu but joseph seemed to be more amiable… with one more vote for jun’en , he got it.

Laziness, that I din’t play or take care of the children as what I did in the first day. I wish to have more interaction with the kids.. Or maybe it’s a wish that I can sleep normally in aircon room. I dun wish to sleep the children cos I know I have prob sleeping in aircon room. I rather sleep with youths as I can be more of myself.

i am trying too hard to be things that I am not, and neglecting the things I should be doing. Trying too hard to be group leaders when I should concentrate to be a teacher.

Dhs primary school kidz camp
Suddenly I recall those days when I was the instructor for the camps. I was one of the lecturer and also the instructor. Looking back, I really think that I am trying to be things that I am not. I guess I am more of that kind of instructor type of person but somehow, maybe age is catching up on me.. no more life and vigor to follow the young kidz everything..

Honghao bohao
Really glad to see them in this youth camp. I do easily pay attention to them as they were about the youngest when I first join shomerim. Now I know that they are not longer kidz but it’s just nice to see yourself and your past with their current experience. After listening to bo 1st night of sharing, I said to the group, “ I wish I was better”. Of cos I cannot turn back time but I know I must strive for my current situation, a young adult, almost settled to find real settlement.

---

Youth Camp Day 1

I am sad to say but I began the camp with a personal low note. Not that I am spiritually down but the first encounter with the first programme makes me feel a bit unhappy. It is really partially my fault, for I see that it’s my ego, self-recognition that’s hindering a happy afternoon. However, it’s both ways too, for my part I wish that the other people will be more EQ and hence making me feel better but one the other hand, it’s also me who is not having enough EQ to handle situation well.

There are some pple whom i dun really want to be like. Do you ever met those people before? Yes. I am talking about those who you cannot see eye to eye and the way they handle things you will disagree and think that almost everything they do is not what you think should be happening. Of cos when I say everything, it’s an exaggeration but almost everything.

How? Yes.. this is my personal barrier and it’s my fault. And this is the first day of the camp and I wish to find some reasonable improvement in me. May the Lord help me.

Ra and es joining us for the youth camp. I think it’s quite nice in a way for it really injects some youth into our midst. And at least there are more people within jianjun’s category. Ya.. so that I think less people will be left out.. being left out is what I least wanted to happen to me. And to others too.

Day 2

I was saying that the twins were young when I first came to church.. but now, I think there’s es and ra who are going into sec sch… it’s an old man syndrome to share experience. But I just like to do it…

Soon, all the children will grow and be more mature than me while I con’t to choose to live in my world now.

Things seems to get better for the things that I am unhappy about yesterday. Surely it’s God.

I must say that this youth camp is much more adult like without the children. We dun have to take care of them and can fully concentrate with our sharing and our supper talk. I wish we have more time for group sharing but well.. it’s enough. I guess we just like to sidetrack and chat a little sometimes.

Also, there’s this thing about writing a note to campers. It’s hard to write for some but I know it’s certainly for a good cause.
And also, meijiea ask the children to make cards at the end of children camp. I am so glad to receive one card too. Yeah.. it’s just nice. Once again, thank you Javan.

Shomerim is so adult now. That we have 4 people able to drive a car and 3 of them have something to drive during this period of time. “Next phase of life” is what it’s all about. It’s an exciting phase to some but to many it’s also a scary phase for we dun know what’s on tmr. But as Christian, we all know that He who controls tmr is the one holding our hand.

Being left out. I guess I am facing it gradually. It’s a fact that I need to either embrace or change. Changing can be in the form of changing mentality or changing my personality. Certain facts of life are just cruel.
Just like botao cannot fit in cause people can nv understand his language. Because of communication prob, he cannot learn the language. Catch 22 situation.
Some kid cannot relate to the rest cos the rest are cleverer. One cannot make oneself cleverer. So how? LLST lor. Catch 22 again.
Some cliques chat and talk about others, the things others do provide the platform of communication for the clique. If the other join the clique, the clique have nth to talk and hence nth exciting happens hence. But the excitement when the other leave. Whose fault?
In this world, there are loners, some by default, some by problems. Will there be one by choice..

want to blog a lot but..

bought a new hp. feel very happy. now i can take better pictures. =)

really have many things to say.. but dun know how to start with little time.
till then.. i will keep them in my mind.

uploaded some photos to show off to myself my 2.0 megapix phone. i know it's so common and it's quite an old phone leh. . but i can only buy it recently with a trade in and 2year contract. =)

the shoes, i think are nice. but very ex.~

children~ =p

kids in my church. =p ya.. can see how much i will like to dote them.

birthday photos

birthday dinner photos. ~ in my photo gallery ~

http://www.dreamerize.com/myphotos/thumbnails.php?album=9

bdae cele

below 18

today i bought cigarette for my father.

uncle: 你够岁吗？
me:够.
uncle: ic leh?

............

what is the truth?

http://www.syfc.org.sg/events/dvc/index.swf

birthday presents~

haha.. last year this time, i have a wishlist. but well.. that's cos i had a erm. 21st bdae celebration.. this year? i guess i will still list down. =) not to ask for it.. but just to blog about it. =)

1. 阿Q正传 (saw one at kino, about 13bucks plus.. will request as shomerim present =)
been hearing much about this classic, and i took a some time to read a few pages.. indeed it's by the 大文豪~ heheh..
2. eveready/energizer yellow colour meglite key chain. =) jus saw it.. it's yellow. and it's useful... haha..
3. i bought a wallet for myself on my last day of exam.. =)
4. think i will change my specs as mentioned previous.. the one i got last year got a chip in the lens and the nose pad came off liao.. okay.. i am rough.. sigh..
5. will be driving that day.. yeap.. that will come from my dad. =)

first day at work

yeap.. started working today. and it seems that my eyes tho red are fine to most pple. thank God. and thank God that it's recovering..

daniel, mild person but i think he does his work.

today the CEO came to visit. wow, my first day of work he come and shake hand with me. haha..

first person i talked to, wenhao. first qn is "are you local?" ..... i hate to answer but yah.. i am local. 100% he's quite a funnie guy.. typical tuangster.. he looks like 李克勤 and his behavior is like his role in that庙街show. haha.. maybe i long time nv watch tv.. but my vague impression is that.

derek, much less chatty then wenhao.. but well.. still can talk talk lah.. not that bad...

ellen, fulltimer switched to partimer. so she's like the semi-fulltimer. cos tho she's partime, she tends to costomers very often.

oh ya.. i have this bad habit of calling fulltimer as regulars.. !! too much of army lingo>! argh...

things sold are so expensive... so expensive. normal pple wouldn't want to spend there. when i look at the simple belt which cost over 200 dollars... i actually imagined this poor child being abused as child labour working under dim lights making the belt and paid for 1 centUS. and yet the good that he made is going to cost more than what he could earn in years. i feel a tint of sadness.. okay.. maybe i am imagining too much.. the goods are made in switzerland...

...
anyway, most prob will be shifting my blog next week. tho i must say blogger is very good but i guess i just like to erm.. try new things. i supposed. =) time to move to another kind of stuffs. yeap. time to do something more than html. yesh. but i will miss blogger flexibility with it's display output. maybe wordpress is as flex.. until i find out.

笑傲江湖

娱家播道正在播映《笑傲江湖》。一向来不是特别喜欢这个故事。 因为总觉得故事里的主角没有喜欢的神雕/射雕那么的出色。而且新传媒以前曾开拍《笑傲》而里头的令狐冲流着一头难看的maggi mee发型。而且，总觉得《笑傲》的剧情很不公平。除了我不喜欢的令狐冲之外，其他的角色都是悲剧人物，不然就是一个坏蛋。
岳凌珊，爱上文质彬彬的林平之，本可以幸福。但却因平之子宫，性情大变，嫁了等于没嫁。自己一向敬重的君子剑父亲竟然是个伪君子，自己甚至成为他的其中一个棋子。
林平之，无端端家破人亡。为了复仇，竟然自宫，搞得自己不能给凌珊幸福。自己也不快乐。
东方不败，不男不女。残死在任我行手下。
等等等。。。。　

没看完这个故事的时候，越看越不开心。看到一个个坏蛋自以为是，用江山／江湖／门派的尊严等为掩饰，作恶多端。

越写越不开心。我想我还是适合幸福篇。

doctors

normally doctors will be telling you this dun do , that dun do, then youwill be fine. ya.. prevention is better than cure.

but i just wonder, why do we always pay them for telling things that we know yet we still insist on doing.... if only doctors are people who make things happen, e.g. engineer a method to let diabetics to take sugar as and when they like. allow people with heart dieases to go for snow skiiing. blah blah..

ya.. i was trying to quote what my doctor said to me for my sore eyes, "no medication available. it's a viral infection, so have to let your body fight it out. "

sigh.. apparently, my body is quite weak in this battle

two days of MC

went to see doctor on sunday and it costs me 65 dollars.
the doctor say, "no, no more contact lens" the eye doctor say, "stay away from contact lens for one month or so". in any case, i need a pair of spectacles to go out gai gai.. yeah.. will try to stay away from lens from now. but i relaly like to wear contact lens, not only cos i think it's nice. it's really convenient and it feels real great to imagine oneself having perfect eyesight. think i will change my current stock to dailies.. if poss. cos i will still wear contact lens for some occasion, like visiting the barber (cos i want to see what's going on), play sports/running (okie, you may think i seldom exercise. but yeah, when i do exercise, i realy dun want to run with my specs wobbling around).

sore eyes doesn't allow me to work at bally for yesterday and today. it's really my wish to work at bally. somehow, i hav always wanted to work in retail/service section. it's a childhood dream. i guess most of our childhood dreams are some occupations you see on the road. cos a kid will not know what kind of jobs are there unless they see with their own eyes isn't it?

i wanted to be policeman, cos i see them walking around looking good. i want to be waiter last time cos i see them working in restaurants. i mean.. ya.. that's my logic.

so.. i really really hope to recover soon. sigh...

---

stranded at home supposed to help me clear some of my personal work. still struggling to create my own website. i guess the prob is that i wan to have a good design more than i want to hav a website. not only i want a good design, i want to have the 3 designs to be in sync with one another. (the main page, my blog page, my photo page). so.. i realy dun know can i finish it. furthermore, a good design is not sufficient, cos a good design must suit me. wanted to have a nice page with some mt ophir pictures but that is so not ernest.. so out. blah blaah blah.. in short, i am trying to settle my website.

but lime said that if the content is more impt, the dun bother too much about design. hm... well.. to me, the content is only impt to me, i think the design is more impt to the visitors.

conjunctivitis

yesh.. i am stuck at home. i wish i can go to work. was quite excited about working. reallie. has been my 'fantasy' to work in retail. sigh.. now i hope they dun give me the sack.

day out at town

thank God for an happy day out with weiliang, lipchong, andy and junda.
ktv from 2-5 and followed by me shopping at toysrus and andy finding his rosti at carefour, then lipchong shopping for album at Prints. of cos we had dinner. impt thing to highlight, it all went on smoothly, without erm.. at least that's what i think, anyone feeling left out.
with weiliang as my erm.. 'outside friend' lipchong and junda and andy are my chem eng classmates.
junda were from same sec sch and jc as me tho we nv really talked.
i knew andy vaguely from weiliang last time.
junda and lipchong were from the same medical centre as weiliang.
andy and weiliang were sec 1/2 classmates. and same jc.

interlinked. that's applies to almost a lot of other pple out there. but i am glad for this outing to be a rather happy experience for me. maybe cos i have always been a happier person initially. yeap.. cos i realise i was also happier last time at shomerim. and with fcm (since i jus joined them recently)

wish i can con't to be happy =) and learn to keep friends and make friends. =)

where am i going from here?

it has been a year in NUS and i am going to be a sophomore, a year 2 student next year. needless to exclaim that time flies for you should know this fact as well as me.

Chem Engin
==========
"it's a good course!"
"wow, you need good results to get in"
"got good prospects leh"
those are what people says. as for why am i in this course? largely due to the fact that it's CHEMICAL engineering. it goes as far back in Sec Three when i sudden feel worried about my future when i realise that my A Maths sux. i was worried cos my arts aren't good as well and if my maths cannot make it, where am i suppose to head? Science din't occur to me back then. then i suddenly think of Chemical Engineering sounds good. at least it has the word chemical in it. people told me it's not easy but i jsut keep it at the back of my mind until now.

i see it as God bringing me to the course. unknowingly acquainted with it and now i am in it. for prospects? not really? who knows what can happen in year 2009 when i grad. no course is definitely good for the industry. i just pray that GOd will bring me to the destination.

Sheares Hall
============
Staying in hall was in my mind all along. i din't realise that it will be so costly. But i am a person resistant to change. the notion of staying in hall was in me for too long and i decide to go for it. Kent Ridge was my first choice not for any reason but it was popular. Yuwei, Weixiong, Colin, Royston and other pple i heard about applied for Kent Ridge. I put Sheares Hall as my 2nd choice cos shuhui says that it's as new as kent ridge. before the results of hall stay was out, i told royston "I have a great hunch that we will not be in the same hall somehow. because we have always been ending up at different places alto we were so similar in choice and direction." true enough, we were close enough but still in different hall. it has been so since 1997. =p

i think the best thing i have done then was to pray and told God that i will leave the choice to Him. hence when i realised that i dun get my first choice, i feel that God is testing me and telling me that Sheares is the choice He made for me. i am glad. slowly i see the light. Praise the Lord.
1. in the end, yuwei and weixong not staying on in Kent Ridge for 2nd year afterall.
2. i realise the points system and the style of people in KR isn't for me and i realise my place in sheares is more appropriate.

Staying in hall is also impt in a sense cos i need external factors to make friends. i have been complaining about dun know which friends to hang around. most people have NS friends to fall on like yuwei. weilun got close to mike. christopher due to ns get to know wee kuok and stuffs.. the point is, i was quite lost. i tot stayin in hall will help me to make friends.

Where to go?
============
what is a hall? they will say Hall Spirit. they say you will find it fun and find true friends. but will they last? chio was talking about the 3 man clique isnt there soon.. some other people also disappear with bf and gf..
some people are active in faculty clubs. like andy and mingyi seems to know good friends thru PRU.
some people have close friends.
some people are busy with church. liwei, joel.

what about me? there's too many friends i wish to keep. who will be there when i have my wedding dinner next time?
weiming, weixong, eugene, andrew, calvin are my long friends
royston, and wanfen, yiwei if they are sitll avail then.
weiliang, jingyu and jiapei. tho without frequent going out, i know they are my friends.
church friends. actually, it hasn't been too long. only a few years. but the love of God constrain us. sure they will be there at my wedding will they?
i guess i hope all of them at my birthday last year will turn up for any major event next time =)

somehow, i guess it's time for me to find someone to devote my time.

what kind of girl i like?
=========================
weiming ask about the girls in my life. i dun know how to answer.
andrew also asked about it.
meijie also ask what kind of girl i like.
it seems that the kind of girl i like is a mystery. i guess it is, even to me.
炮制女朋友is often what i do ba.. i have the tendency to engineer people around me to be my ideal gf and give up as soon as i realise i can't. okay.. also, i think there's too few girls around me liao.
heard that weiming is chasing a girl, from scratch. meaning dun know the person, also give persent and finally get contact. wow.! can i ever do that?
now calvin attached, weiming chasing pple, xiong happily with andrea.. sigh....

heard the girls say, "how come all the spoilt girls got bf!! i dun understand"
one of them reply "cos guys like to dote girls, hence like those like of spoilt girls"

i also exclaim, "how come all the egoistic, bad guys have gf!"

so i guess it's viscious cycle......

so.. what's next? more work? or cont to be what i am trying to be? or let it be?

???

where am i going from here?

it has been a year in NUS and i am going to be a sophomore, a year 2 student next year. needless to exclaim that time flies for you should know this fact as well as me.

Chem Engin
==========
"it's a good course!"
"wow, you need good results to get in"
"got good prospects leh"
those are what people says. as for why am i in this course? largely due to the fact that it's CHEMICAL engineering. it goes as far back in Sec Three when i sudden feel worried about my future when i realise that my A Maths sux. i was worried cos my arts aren't good as well and if my maths cannot make it, where am i suppose to head? Science din't occur to me back then. then i suddenly think of Chemical Engineering sounds good. at least it has the word chemical in it. people told me it's not easy but i jsut keep it at the back of my mind until now.

i see it as God bringing me to the course. unknowingly acquainted with it and now i am in it. for prospects? not really? who knows what can happen in year 2009 when i grad. no course is definitely good for the industry. i just pray that GOd will bring me to the destination.

Sheares Hall
============
Staying in hall was in my mind all along. i din't realise that it will be so costly. But i am a person resistant to change. the notion of staying in hall was in me for too long and i decide to go for it. Kent Ridge was my first choice not for any reason but it was popular. Yuwei, Weixiong, Colin, Royston and other pple i heard about applied for Kent Ridge. I put Sheares Hall as my 2nd choice cos shuhui says that it's as new as kent ridge. before the results of hall stay was out, i told royston "I have a great hunch that we will not be in the same hall somehow. because we have always been ending up at different places alto we were so similar in choice and direction." true enough, we were close enough but still in different hall. it has been so since 1997. =p

i think the best thing i have done then was to pray and told God that i will leave the choice to Him. hence when i realised that i dun get my first choice, i feel that God is testing me and telling me that Sheares is the choice He made for me. i am glad. slowly i see the light. Praise the Lord.
1. in the end, yuwei and weixong not staying on in Kent Ridge for 2nd year afterall.
2. i realise the points system and the style of people in KR isn't for me and i realise my place in sheares is more appropriate.

Staying in hall is also impt in a sense cos i need external factors to make friends. i have been complaining about dun know which friends to hang around. most people have NS friends to fall on like yuwei. weilun got close to mike. christopher due to ns get to know wee kuok and stuffs.. the point is, i was quite lost. i tot stayin in hall will help me to make friends.

Where to go?
============
what is a hall? they will say Hall Spirit. they say you will find it fun and find true friends. but will they last? chio was talking about the 3 man clique isnt there soon.. some other people also disappear with bf and gf..
some people are active in faculty clubs. like andy and mingyi seems to know good friends thru PRU.
some people have close friends.
some people are busy with church. liwei, joel.

what about me? there's too many friends i wish to keep. who will be there when i have my wedding dinner next time?
weiming, weixong, eugene, andrew, calvin are my long friends
royston, and wanfen, yiwei if they are sitll avail then.
weiliang, jingyu and jiapei. tho without frequent going out, i know they are my friends.
church friends. actually, it hasn't been too long. only a few years. but the love of God constrain us. sure they will be there at my wedding will they?
i guess i hope all of them at my birthday last year will turn up for any major event next time =)

somehow, i guess it's time for me to find someone to devote my time.

what kind of girl i like?
=========================
weiming ask about the girls in my life. i dun know how to answer.
andrew also asked about it.
meijie also ask what kind of girl i like.
it seems that the kind of girl i like is a mystery. i guess it is, even to me.
炮制女朋友is often what i do ba.. i have the tendency to engineer people around me to be my ideal gf and give up as soon as i realise i can't. okay.. also, i think there's too few girls around me liao.
heard that weiming is chasing a girl, from scratch. meaning dun know the person, also give persent and finally get contact. wow.! can i ever do that?
now calvin attached, weiming chasing pple, xiong happily with andrea.. sigh....

heard the girls say, "how come all the spoilt girls got bf!! i dun understand"
one of them reply "cos guys like to dote girls, hence like those like of spoilt girls"

i also exclaim, "how come all the egoistic, bad guys have gf!"

so i guess it's viscious cycle......

so.. what's next? more work? or cont to be what i am trying to be? or let it be?

???

new born baby. outing with chloe, cryason, clyde

election 06

i have so much to say.. for election and post exams.. but i guess.. being out for too many days left me larthagic to blog..

but the following.. i must state:

PAP ask Singaporeans to give them a strong mandate. (fact)

PAP got 66.6% of Singaporean votes (fact)

AMK led by PM Lee won by 66.13% (fact)

(from CNA, about AMK being contested)
Calling many of his constituents his "old friends", Mr Lee (PM Lee) said yesterday: "I think the voters are supporting us. We've got our message across to voters that this election is about the future and I think voters understand the people they choose will help them to win, help Singapore to win, to move forward."

Said PAP MP Mr Inderjit Singh: "I think for each one of us, it's very important. We're fighting it as if it's the most important battle and the reason is because this is the Prime Minister's GRC and we want to score as high a percentage of the votes as possible. I think it's a very significant battle."

小猪模仿周杰伦

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ivSAouLNd0

献给所有周杰伦或小猪的fanz

MM Lee

it's exam time but i really have to say it before i forget.

http://clockinkspiel.net/eisen/1.htm
there's an entry about the "why my vote matters" forum with MM Lee.

to be honest, i am so surprised that so many people actually criticise that the youth are not respectful to MM Lee. and accused them of not giving him due recognition for what he has done and what he can still do now.

in the first place, i am always hearing about ADULTS, those who live thru the hard ages, complaining about MM Lee and saying that he is holding to power.!!!

as students from a normal formal education, we all know how impt is MM Lee to our natioN!!! but it's also the teachers giving us the idea that MM Lee may have to take a backseat!! realli.. not directly but indirectly. the education system want us to think out of the box and sometimes throw provoking quesiton such as the one my history teacher asked in sec1:" do you think blah blah is getting a bit senil*... and watever. "

in short! where are all those people who are thinking alike with the youth!!!??

you dun have to guess my stand. i respect MM Lee. and i think it's worth having him in the politics.

i am just wondering... where are all those people who are talking behind the govt's back?? or all of you are leaving the youth to die in your place!

voting

you know what? i am actually concerned about the upcoming election. the main reason is that i have to vote.

*(a paragraph deleted in case my opinions are too obvious or onesided or affect other voters )* just in case lah...

so... ya.. i am concerned. i have to vote. must exercise the vote with conscience.

2nd thing. i wonder what happen Ang Mo Kio falls into the hands of opposition? i mean, what if? if the majority of PAP has won but Ang Mo Kio has lost, it reflects a great deal isn't it?

secret

i am going to post something which i dun know why can it be found out. nt sure if there's anything wrong with posting or not.. but well.. if I can derive... what's the secret? haha.. okok.. if i can found the person to derive...

How are Singapore IC Numbers calculated and produced? No,
they do not come randomly. There is a system, and I am going to show it
to you now.

Let's take this IC number as an example:

S8706407G

Firstly, what does S stand for?

And why are the babies born in 2000 onwards have the prefix “T”


Contrary to common perception, S does not stand for "Singapore"
and T is not used because they ran out of "S"s to use.

S is the 19th character of the alphabet, so this person is born in the
1900s.

What does "87" stand for, then?

Obviously, Singaporeans can observe from their own IC numbers that 87
would stand for the year the person is born, so this person is born in
1987.

The last 5 digits "06407" means that this person is the 6047th
baby to be born in the year 1987.

Finally, how does the letter G come about? Here is the answer.

First, the numbers are put through a weightape, which is the same for
every number:

Number	8	7	0	6	4	0	7
Weightape	2	7	6	5	4	3	2
Result	16	49	0	30	16	0	14	Sum: 125

So we have the number 125.

Divide 125 by 11

Answer: 11r4

11-4=7

Put the number 7 throught the conversion table:

Number	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11
Letter	A	B	C	D	E	F	G	H	I	Z	J

Conversion Table

So you get the letter "G".

Ta-da! This is how the IC number S8706407G comes about.

P.S. This information does not apply to new IC numbers starting with
anything other than the letter "S".

it's a bit late but ...

this hols, i want to get out of my hole and see the world. people jio me for any tom dick henry's business.. i want to go to more clickable blogs and taggable boards. argh!!

vbs

Tabernacle BP Church Vacation Bible School

interested to join? contact me> ~ =) those who cares , spread the word. =)

blog reading

guess it doesnt take much to guess that i surf blogs.

a number of new blog added to my bookmarks recently. reasons as follows

dee-blockers. ever since there's this youtube craze, and there's this blk d concert video on youtube, and when we realise that a year ago there's a block blog. suddenly, a lot of links their blogs surfaces.. read lor, since i know them. interesting. truly.

the other one is a controversial blog, which has been much publicised recently. i shant add to the publicity. it's a gay blog about these 2 boys who are 4 years younger than me lah!! and the thing about them is that, they are loud in their actions. pple praise them and of cos pple condemn them. what's impt to me is that i stop and think, why are they willing to go all out to declare gay. on the contrary, sometimes, we dun even dare to go a little further to declare our Faith!! why!!!!!

the most recent entry wrote about one of them running away from home/chase out of the house... it realy struck me. is it worth it? to strain ur relationship with family for their love for btn two boys?? you know if it is worth it, dun you?

however, i am sure each of us have some thing that is so truth to us, or even some News that is so true to the whole world but we aren't willing or not convinced to stand up for it.

even in blogs like this, we get lessons for life.

next two blogs:
http://onlyskindeep.blogspot.com/
a blog about a girl striken with cancer. well.. haven really read it. just think that it's worth a mention.

http://dyingis.blogspot.com/
a blog about a dying person. she died already anyway.

for now.. i will just cont with my blog and write my story.

sunday morning

i am watching sunday morning channel 8 children educational show!!!

then i saw this jue dui superstar contestant.. erm.. jason i think... as one of the hosts. haha. i guess sometimes when we wonder where these 'stars' have gone to, they have gone to some programmes which we nv get to watch.. like sunday morning shows or 午后闲情.. haha.

歧视

有人说我长得像PRC,
如果有人说你长得PRC你会高兴吗?好事你会不高兴?
问题就出在这里,为什么会不高兴呢?

有人说,
＂说话像ｐｒｃ　不是错，长得像ｐｒｃ ，可是如果一个人长得响，说话也像，那就不好了．＂


这世界就是存在着偏见与歧视的吧．

emails

new programe to blog

trying out new programs to blog. ~ http://performancing.com/about/faq

still quite unsure of the functions>~ shall explore next time.. why do i always find interests in such things when i am not supposed to! haha~

exam blues?

Having exam blues?

Need a listening ear?

Feeling stressed?

Call 1800-7762242 if you

· Are feeling stressed and need someone to talk to

· Need administrative information about NUS

· Want to offer anonymous feedback about anything in NUS

1800-7762242
Helpline · Infoline · Feedback line

Store this number in your handphone today
You never know when you’ll need it

(i tot only SAF needs to have counselling services)

strive to write a testimony

http://www.sfdonline.org/Link%20Pages/Link%20Folders/02Pf/colin_goh.html
it's an article about singapore's lifestyle, education, and the Singapore Dream.. recommended reading.

reading the above article, will inevitably make most people around me (those ivy league students) to stop and ponder or a while the path that they are taking now. some may have thought bout it long ago, some have chosen to ignore and just go along with the flow first.

for me, after reading the article, i know that i am not the first class honours student that the top notch chemical industry will be lookin for. neither will i be a outstanding designer that i can start my dream legacy. but the first thing that comes to my mind is that i want to write a similar article next time. but my article is not going to show how i have come out of the system or how i have chosen the right path for myself, but i wish, and i know that if i am prayerful enough, next time i will be able to write an article about how God lead me thru.

i want to write about how God led me thru the years of singapore education and eventually bringing me to the destination that He wants me to be. i want to be able to look back on hindsight to know that my "follow the flow" is actually part of His plan.

Dear God, please bring that day to me.

crude but cute announcement

Please stop sending me e-mails regarding missing header / wrong header. I will ignore all such e-mails.

But remember that your lab TA went around to note down your PE numbers? If our system had to depend on students filling up the header correctly, we are doomed. We have a backup plan.

A missing or incorrect header will result in loss of up to 5 marks.

an announcement by my NUS Lecturer. haha.. i just laugh out loud when i see how he writes the announcement. =)

slacking in the midst of exams

在宣捷的房间里再到一本书，＂向左走，向右走＂．一翻开，寄语是伟雄写给jiawen的．字体的确是伟雄的，可是，一时间就是无法把jiawen，伟雄和宣捷串在一起．可见世界有多小．有时让你觉得朋友的网络越大，自己就显得十分多余．

想要重温我当初开始写博克的定义．．．　我想我就是有那么一种想法．如果通过我的网上博克可以不知名的交到新／旧朋友，有多戏剧啊！

新中港台

香港　是什么都可以做，除了法律不允许的；
新加坡是什么都不能做，除了法律允许的；
台湾　是什么都可以做，包括法律不允许的；
大陆　是什么都不能做，包括法律允许的；

奇怪的是为什么新加坡会和中港台放在一起比较？　

全民开讲

新加坡人笨？其实一切都在于＂笨＂的定义．

你说人糊涂．那它是大事糊涂还是小事糊涂？小事糊涂也可以说是不拘小节．大事糊涂可以说他对细节私心．当然有人两方面都不糊涂．可是，我也可以说他过于小心等．

新加坡人笨？我觉得本也有很多种：装笨，假笨，真笨．．．　笨也有本的好，如果新加坡人能笨到能够建国四十余年．．．　那还真的是笨得值得．　

繁体字

联合国准备在2008年把应用的中文一律采行简体字的消息，已在海内外华人社会引起广泛回响，除了台湾政坛的人气天王、国民党主席马英九表态说一定会“想尽办法阻止”，网上更出现了为繁体字请命的签名运动。

其中的政治意义我向大家也应该都可想而知.可是,给予文化的考量,可是所真的是大逆不道.我是否言过其实呢?
虽然这是联合国的应用中文... 可是难免, 可能,也许会促使繁体字的废除?　也许吧．．．　

中华文化五千年，繁体字才是正统的。而简体字因为时事的无奈而产生的，怎么可以反过来废了繁体字呢？中国人不是一直以我们五千年的文化自豪！！难道要和＂维护中华文化＂的宗旨背道而驰吗？

To let you noe more about me...

hmm.. dun know if the following is chain blog or not.. bleeeeh.. well.. doing for the fun of it.

Four things that make me smile:

1. babies
2. thinking about the happy past
3. being in group of friends which i am happy with
4. CAP5

Four ways to win my heart:

(In order of importance)

1. say you love me
2. erm.. accept who i am
3. talk to me
4. pretty~

four things i believe in:

1. to find live out The Purpose in my life
2. 以德报怨
3. "if anything goes wrong, find fault with myself first" then you realise there's no pt finding fault with people.
4. There is a God.

four things i am afraid of

1. Loneliness.
2. knowing that i can never make it.
3. the unknown future.
4. that i will live to regret

four things i do everyday:

1. browse thru the regular blog
2. read "calvin and hobbs"
3. devotion
4. trying to study

four things/people i want to see now:
1. ..
2. ??
3. =0
4. >.<

four people who should do this:
(need not to be filled in. =p)

lessons from comic

In a letter to newspaper editors announcing his retirement, Watterson stated: "This is not a recent or easy decision, and I leave with some sadness. My interests have shifted, however, and I believe I've done what I can do within the constraints of daily deadlines and small panels. I am eager to work at a more thoughtful pace, with fewer artistic compromises. I have not yet decided on future projects, but my relationship with Universal Press Syndicate will continue."

In this world, people make decisions everyday. some may have decided to move on, or even take the challenge to change courses in their lives. are you facing any decision making?

it's not recent or easy. adequate time praying to God and asking for direction is essential.

you may leave with sadness. but sadness for leaving is not a reason for not leaving.

interests have shifted. it may indicates a good reason to change, and to move on. but that is only if you are sure of yourself and are willing to face your interests

slower pace and more artistic... ...

recent tags and comments have encouraged me. thank you my friends!

block d concert

block d concert:

1. videos of block D are shown.

-i wonder do i really enjoy myself. feel sad whenever i find it weird to take photo cos i dun know where to stand.

- looking at myself at the videos, found myself to behave in weird mannerism. mannerism that is nt very appealing to myself. so, anyone can help me change?

2. hall stay results out. have to accept by 7 apr. think i will accept, then decide ifi want to move in next time.

the seniors:
they come back, and seeemed to have a lot of fun. yeah.. seems like it.

serious talk

exams coming. in the midst of it, still met up with yuwei and xiong for supper. i talked a bit, then xiong said that i was talking about serious talk.. guess it's not convenient to talk serious with people. yeap, indeed, we should all carry our own burdens as far as possible.

here it is, for me to reflect and talk to this blog:

staying in hall is like a mirror. it allows me to see for myself where do i really stand among people. and what are the things that i cannot do. so many things that are not for me almost forever. i cant sing, i cant play sports. and i realise that these are the things that are currently more valued by people. well.. simply i guess, they are the people on the pedestal.

so, what can i do? it seems to some pple that i am good for things. gladys and huiyu seemed to be rather happy with the publicity that i have been doing. the poster designs, ads, and watever.. jingwen in a way, still willing to let me try our with techie stuffs when i really think that junsiong has the organizational power and the rest have the tech knowledge. so, i guess it's all about willingness. it's the enthusiasim that i have for things new that seemed to be an asset for me, in hqguards and in hall. so, am i happy with myself?

yes, i must say that the chance to do up posters are quite enjoyable even tho i am not a pro (yet). the sad thing about me is that, i really dun know if there's talent and ability behind my willingness.

the heart is willing... but the flesh is weak.

weixiong says: "ernest, why are you selling your life to hall? do you think they will remember you?" **disclaimer: i am not selling my life to hall.. i nv will***

last time in hq guards, pple says: "ernest, why work so hard? do you think army will remember you? no! they will just find another replacement when you are gone."
------------
the same will go when you go to work and so on. . . so the thing is. there's one thing that you can sell your life to. that is to do things for God. to study hard for Him, to do His work, to spread the Gospel and serve in His church. Cos God will remember, not for this life but for life everlasting. yes. God is the only one who is the perfect Boss you can work for.

when i am saying this,i know i believe in my heart. of cos as deprave human, the struggle is about putting God's will above mine and pursuing things everlasting but intangible now vs pursuing material glory in this world. the struggle continues.
----------

humanly speaking: yeap, the mirror is showing how useless i am.. therefore i feel little.

intercession: it's when you think you are little, then God shows His ability to use little people like you.

是非对错

蔚蓝的云 雪白的天
有谁看得到我的意境？
火红的雨 翠绿的风
你们是否与我统一阵线？

雨后彩虹是纪念那场雨 还是雨后的阳光？
清晨的风 是吹醒大地 还是在催夜晚入睡？
你的所见 是否等于答案？

photo spree

dun know how this blogger layout works.. argh.. anyway.. according to the order of the photos.

La Belle Epoque:: a night made beautiful... doing publicity

Sheares Production:: Funny Money.. doing Sound (and Lights)

Starlight rhapsody.. publicity..

Geyao concert.. erm.. part time EmCee.. =)

the cool mixer

感动

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children,the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does
is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other
children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is
the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that, when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an pportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew
were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"
Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like
Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were
allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and
some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay
could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and
said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I
guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the
other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder
and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would
have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first
baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and
both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and
struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards
second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their
team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he
understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the
ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third
base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and
turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!
Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and
those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay
ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit
the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,
the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity
into this world.

Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

---

在适当的时候读适当的文章，有时会眼眶红红的。这应该不是我第一次读这则电邮，可是这一次的心境也不知怎么的，竟感动得。。。 感动的不是人间的温暖，而是那小孩的坚强。我想，如果是我的话，当别人把球拍递给我的时候，我也不敢握拍。

老实说，在我/我们希望自己能强一点，成绩好一点，人缘加一点的时候，我们干设想如果我们不健全的可能吗？

think twice before you blog

i really like calvin and hobbs comics... maybe i feel much like calvin. sometimes i feel that no one in the world is like me or even likes me. as much as being childlike is much precious but the world i am in exalt tact, political correctness, the ability to justify oneself.

indeed, do we think twice before we talk? will those who think before talking be appreciated? in fact, will thinking before talking help if the person listening dun think before understanding your or dun think before replying.

sometimes, knowledge are redundant, for knowledge without concurrence is useless. confucius is supposed to be wise and be exalted in the days of Han and there after.. but so what? by then he's dead.

but i know there's one thing we can find comfort. that is our God above do give us precious knowledge that is true in all ages and even during times when everyone doubt you, He will give you the faith to believe that He is still true and the knowledge of Him will still hold.

every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. -- luke 18:14b

posters

胡思乱想

曾经我对bernard说:"...其实,在hall没有什么朋友跟我来往.. "
他回答说:"没有朋友跟你来往我不怎么相信, 但说如果没有什么朋友让你觉得觉得click,那还比较可信." 这不是思考明年是否应该继续住在宿舍的时候. 可是最近逢人都会问一下所积的cca points, 讨论明年应该选那一间房, 假期要不要参加这个或那个团体/委员会等.这些也难免影响了我的情绪. 住或与否, 一切以后再说吧.

---
有一次看见宣捷由周华建的精选cd，以为我会非常喜欢里头的好歌与老歌。回想当年小六的时候在建明的家K那一首“其实不想走”。以前我们认为会成为我们的不朽名曲，现在重听却只觉得曲调平凡。不只这首。以前和roy and yiwei 尝尝唱的“最近比较烦“ 和双天至尊的主题曲都是当时彼此认为将会使我们的主题曲。。。。
也许有一天无意听见会感触良多。也许，希望。

---

totally philosophical

i am totally philosophical today. once, someone said this to me, "ernest, you do think and i am worried. because either you will cling strong to God or you will depart one day... "

doubts assail, and often we wonder if we are still on the strait and narrow road. it was easy to keep to the strait road when you haven gotten on the highway. however the times comes you are walking on the strait road with the broad way just beside you... it's difficult.

when you realise that the narrow road has so few companions, you wonder if you are leading to 'destruction' alone.. it is again difficult when you see people leaving path you are taking, and worse still, the companions you have along this small path seemed to be in another world.

sometimes i wonder, if i am switching paths too often. somehow, unable to lay roots into the ground that i tread on. through the years, being quiet and introvert, concealing behind a veil, somehow has not allowed me to be comfortable with a zone. yesh, i think it's a mistake made. i have change my playground too often. seeking consolences in new group every too often. leaving a group when it gets too comfortably close or when i 'think and feel' that that group is too impregnable. from an outsider perspective, i really term it as a loser mentality.

---

went to pasar malam and nowadays, there's always a person sitting at the table telling pple about fortune telling using a mic. things like if your forefinger is longer than your ring finger, you are what what what... and many will crowd around. it's like listening to gospel truth. why? why do they easily , or me even, easily drawn to such teaching?

sometimes, deejays will console their callers with wise quotations from the books of ancient wisdom e.g. sun tze bing fa, buddha says and pple listen as tho they are precious pearls of wisdom. but i wonder if bible quotes are used to console pple over the radio, uproar will occur.. maybe.

it's all foretold, that His Name is despised by people... sadly.

---

there's a five year challenge by u.john.. in five years' time, will you still find yourself in church. by God's grace i am in the 3rd year.. will i made it?

---

this entry is so grey... i felt it too.. feeling it right at this moment.

if there's one thing i wish to be right now, is to be able to play hard and work harder.

upset got over

i am so easily upset. cannot imagine i am affected by something that is not concerning me. i tot i was just an on-looker but after talking to the person involved, i am being brought into the picture by myself.

i regret, for being so politically correct in choosing my words and not being a blatant blabber of my thoughts. or maybe i have shown myself taking a stand right from the start. however, i do think that the stand i take is right, but will i or should i defend it with all my self-righteousness thinking that my entitled thoughts are true?

blog made, to seal up this impression that i have at this moment. one day, when i look back at my entry and realise i dun know what am i talking about, i have succeed in forgetting my opinions.

world is not perfect, at all

man are so imperfect. rev willy always says that church is supposed to be a picture of heaven on earth. but there's a lot to go before Christ purified the Church at the end.

Reverends quarrel over the Word. churches having misunderstanding. someone, all these will or have disillusioned others. me too. at times, i find it weird for socially smart people to be raised up and human wisdom to be accepted. at times, i also find myself so wicked and why am i still in a church. but all these just points to the fact that there's still a long way to go before we can see for ourselves what is perfection.

i am encouraged, that all the disputes between churches etc are already been told and advised in the bible. that we would rather suffer for Christ's sake.

"Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. " 1 Cor 6:7-8

definition is not good

#include

int()
{

int friends, friend, me, love;
double love, happiness;

if (me==friend && love=>10000)
{friends++;
happiness++;
}

printf("if everyone in my life are kept as friends, i will be a friend too.. IF. )

return o;

a pic with xinhui

yeah.. sheares hall DnD, and Shi Xinhui is there. =) quite paiseh to ask to take pic with her.. heheh..

found a blog

http://tanning-in-ur-sunray.blogspot.com/

that's by jeff.. my ex campmate, my present course mate.

reading his blog makes me realise how different am i from him. the attitude within.. i guess often times, i am closing my doors to too many people. i am. but that doesn't mean that i wouldn't like them to come in..

i remember book of proverbs tells me that.. "a man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

how much have i fall short of this verse!!!!!!!.. it's really such a shame...

---

e.g. i was thinking of looking at the entries about me in his blog.. i type ernest and found none.... of cos i feel erm.. excluded.. nv did i realise and recall that.. i was known as 'ernie' to him. shows how much have i paid attention.. no wonder i haven't been getting to know him better..

watch only if you dun wish to eat meat anymore

if you want to go on a veggie diet from now on... watch this.. if not, please dun....!

http://www.meat.org/?c=1208NANmym

your true Friend

Do you have such a friend?

thank God

may times, we cannot see God's help soon enough.. me too. but after some pondering, i realise how much God has answered or even more. sometimes, the things may even caught you by surprise and even test your faith and behavior.

i was very worried for (my tution student) when i was teachin him A level maths C. i was so worried for him and i often prayed to God that "God will please help (my tution student) , even in granting him good grades, so that i may not fail as a tuition teacher.. " i am so scared that i will fail my responsibilty. the night after his maths paper, he called me and sounds so demoralised, upset and lost.. losing sight of a decent results for his A levels. and i say, i will pray for him...

then! he got AAAA, A2!!! i must say he's quite smart. and i was quite erm.. erm.. well.. u know.. whne you realise that AAAAAAssssss are everywhere.. and i actually fall short of one A.. guess it's God's plan to humble me ba...

now, when i think back, i realise!!! isn't this God's help in helping me to fulfil my responsibilty??!!! how insensitive am i... "qing chu yu lan" is good ba. haha..

---

i prayed hard before i set off to design the programme booklet for an upcoming concert. i was quite worried, somehow pple whom i worked with dun really agree with my sense of 'beauty' and 'fonts' selection.. in the end, i came up with 3 designs.. the first one is almost my effort for the whole design (aka, orignal), which i have the least confidence in it. the 2nd one is a easy copy.. the 3rd one is another easy transpose..

in the end, the first one is well received.. from the comments, it seems to be genuine commment. Thank God! this give me sense of joy and confidence to 'indulge' further in this hobby of mine...

--

all the above, happen during the week... and it's only now, that i realise... =)
Praise the Lord. and may He continue to be by my side.

happy birthday to weixiong and DnD

came back from sheares hall DnD.. erm... and that's my table photo.. it's not hard to spot me right? haha..

and i look very bad in many photos.. sigh. but nvm ~ ...

actually, i was in a huge delimna, cos weixiong "birthday dinner" is today.. caught in between.. got pretty inexperience with the planning and stuffs.. sigh..

still.. 50 dollars has been paid, after thinking for looong time, DnD is still where i ended up at. =)

holiday

i am thinking about hols now.. when the exams are not over..

so many things to do, when there's apparent a looong period of time.

still thinking should i join rag.. it's a dream to be the float designer.. well.. being passive, normally i will not sign up for it.. but now that jungkiat kathy do look for me... should provide a better reason to join .. the things holding me back: i need to work during hols so that i can stay next sem, if join rag, will stay hall during hols = more money.

nvm.... if i dun do rag, i will still work on my long overdue dreamerize.com

now going out for lunch, alone.. it's surprising how many pple dun eat lunch in hall... they either munch in the room, or skipped it.. or sleep thru it. normally i am one of them, but nt today..

tonight is DnD, which is just a nice name for a normal dinner. crap... dun have camera, have to rely on the rest liao~

NOW, i have 3 tutorials lagging... okie.. if i pay real attention later maybe can reduce it to 2. ya.. time to go.